Photos
I'm Not In Any Photos Yet.
Before & AfterThere are currently no before and after photos for this member. See these instructions if you wish to submit your own Before & After photos.
Goals
69 People in progress, 11 People achieved this |
41 People in progress, 17 People achieved this |
52 People in progress, 21 People achieved this |
157 People in progress, 30 People achieved this |
19 People in progress, 5 People achieved this |
|
|
SW 215=98 | GW 137=62 | CW: 122=55 | 5'4 | lost: 93 lbs=43 kg | goal: 7-9 mo.
sweating my way up the steep, protein-paved road to redemption.
|
No posts have been made
|

 Archive
Tags
|
My Story
sweating my way up the steep, protein-paved road to redemption.
Pre-Op: October 2010
- my Doctor tells me the blood test annual results show I am pre-diabetic (high ac1) and have insulin resistance.
- I am on the verge of getting diabetes. my grandmother died of diabetes complications at age 56.
- Doctor says I have to lose weight and mentions WLS. I am amazed someone in my weight would be allowed to do that.
- I go to an endocrinologist who tells me to lose 10% of my weight and "eat less rice" (?), "even brown rice", etc. hmm... such poor guidance! I then read the american diabetes association website... and their guides seem lame and non-effective!!! their diet has high ammounts of carb! they don't acknowledge diabetes is mainly a carb problem, even though it's SO clear even to an idiot non-doctor as me. after much research, I reach the conclusion that what got me there was the of high ammount carbs I ate. now it all made sense.
- unfortunately I start to feel that this time around, after 10 years yo-yo dieting, I can't manage to lose the weight.
- I start to research WLS but have to travel abroad for work for 2 months. I do a lot of research and book a band surgery on my way back from the trip abroad for late December. I arrive on the worst snowstorm day of the year, all airports are closed, and lose my connection flight in NY as the plane had to stop in Miami. my surgery is cancelled. I was devastated as I had all the days off planned, but it turned to be a blessing in disguise.
- I research more and I believe this is when I find OH, beggining of Jan. 2010. I read about VSG and decide that's actually the way to go. I read many bad things about the lap-band and my insurance doesn't allow WLS - I would have to pay for fillings myself etc. I book VSG with Dr. Aceves after a lot of research online.
- only my mother supports me and the rest of the family is totally against surgery. my father stops talking with me until after surgery.
- one day before surgery I am still not sure I should do it. I was afraid I would feel weird for the rest of my life... and there was no way back.
- I go ahead and have VSG. first few months were hard, I am a waterholic and could hardly drink water. could hardly eat. but everything turned up GREAT. I am so glad I did this. I am so glad I had to cancel the band surgery. things happen for a reason.
5 months out: June 2011
- ac1 (pre-diabetic) levels plummeted back to "normal";
- Carpal Tunnel Syndrome symptoms are GONE;
- lost 63 pounds, 15 to go;
- went from size 16 (on the verge of 18 and a few plus sizes) to a lose size 11 and S shirts and dresses;
- I can walk for hours in the street doing errands and window shop without getting tired as before;
- I am not invisible to men and I am getting a LOT of attention;
- dropped shoe sizes, my old shoes keep falling;
- people are nicer on the street / at work / in general (I know, cruel world);
- I feel I gained my life / my face back.
6 months out: July 2011
- from size 16-18 to size 4-8 (respectively Calvin Klein and H&M)! :O yes, I am shocked too.
- from size L-XL shirts to the XS Guess shirt I got today; :O
- lost 67 pounds / 11 to go
- fitting in all my old clothes from 2007, some are even lose;
- not ashamed to go on a date anymore, not self-conscious about my body;
- guys hold doors open immediately when they look at me. yeah, suddenly all guys are gentlemen. argh. (((puke)))
- I won't need plastic surgery in my tummy. even my tighs and the little bat wings I ended up with are not that bad.
- boobs did fall a bit, though. oh well. small price to pay, I guess.
- I feel I gained my life + youth back.
7 months out: August 2011
- NORMAL weight - 24.5 BMI on Aug. 24.
- dates are calling me back and wanting repeated dates & feel ready to fall in love again;
- feel attractive and confident about my looks for the 1st time in 4 years;
- I want to do things, go places, see people... feel like having a life for the first time in years;
- went home country bound and met a group of friends I avoided seeing for years as I was too self-conscious about my weight;
- excited and interested again in fashion, accessories and dressing up;
- people are looking at me and flirting with me;
- no body pains, no need to go to the doctor all the time as before;
- am going to have to buy new fall and winter clothes... but that's not a bad thing! :D
- somehow I can have carbs, sweets and still lose weight. I know this is not the rule here, but must be because I don't eat that much in general quantity-wise;
- confident to wear a bikini again;
- not crazy hungry like before and right after surgery... apparently grehlin levels finally did lower down. it's so liberating... remember when you were a child and you were not constantly hungry? this is how it feels like!
- Sep. 07: tried jeans from when I was 21 yo. (which I used during my 20s as a "how fat I am getting" test... and they fit :O
9 months out: September 2011
- goal weight, reached by surprise: Oct. 21 2011: 62 kg, 137 pounds.
- shopping XS shirts, S-M pants for Calvin Klein's workout Fall clothes :O
- size 2-4 Calvin Klein dresses, size 8 H&M, size 4-6 Levi's jeans. (from starting with 16 / XL or more).
- boobs are deflated, fell, but I don't regret the exchange I did (losing weight+deflated boobs). will get them fixed them eventually.
- buying what I believe will be (kind of) stabilized weight clothes as expensive Fall Leather jacket. hope not to lose it by losing more weight...
- SELF-CONFIDENCE.
- sense of work done & that now I can move on with my life =)
- thank you OH folks for all the info I learned here... would never have done this surgery without the messages I read here.
- after 9 months, I will say it for the first time: I love my sleeve. it saved and brought me back my life. I look and feel like myself again. <3
11 months out: November 2011
- just went under 60 kg, 59 kg (130 pounds or so) right now, I probably haven't been this weight in at least 10 years. I remember being 62 in 2002 after a big summer diet being in the 50s is a HUGE deal for someone who thinks in metric system and has always struggled with weight.
- got black Levi's jeans no. 28. they look SO tiny, can't believe they fit me.
- I realized that as in summer, I don't have proper winter clothes at fit me... gonna have to buy a lot of new stuff but this time I have to save a bit so it will be hard.
- new mid calf boots fit;
- found out about liquid multivitamin "Source of Life", a bless that gives me energy and ended my brain fog.
- basically I feel like I am 15 years younger. I can do anything a 25 yo. can do without getting tired or so;
- I can eat a little more now for sure (volume wise) perhaps double of what I ate in the beggining;
- I am still a bit on the depressive side - surgery does not fix your head. I have to work on that.
- I am not crazy hungry all the time as before, and I don't think about food all the time, and I don't care about food as much. must be grehlin-related as they say. I do feel hungry when I am PMSing and eat a lot more than usual.
- night of Dec. 24th, 11 months out: went on a first date with the type of guy I can only dream about... intelligent, very handsome, an accomplished doctor. insecurities are still there although I am THIN now, but I don't totally see myself as thin or attractive. him kissing me and being sweet when we said goodbye is the confirmation I needed to try and sink this in: I am attractive again. I am myself again. I don't need to worry, at least about this, anymore.
- note to self: feel free from your former self, the traumas the overweight caused you, and start living a full life again, girl!
1 YEAR OUT: Jan. 2012
- this week I will be 1 year out. it seems like yesterday. it passed so fast. my mom was reminding me how the beginning was hard, how it was hard to adapt to the new eating habits, but I can say that I am totally used to it now. I know what and how much I can eat and I feel comfortable most times, even when eating out. as Dr. A. said a day before surgery, "we get used to everything in life". he was right.
- I look great compared to before and people treat me differently. men look at me with desire again, although I am not that young anymore this time around and my face is not as fresh. the world is so unfair... but I guess it is what it is. I am glad to be a "normal" person again, who fits the world and what the world expects of me.
- I can walk for a long time, climb stairs and not be tired. I walked like an old woman before losing weight.
- I eat more or less what I want, even non healthy food and carbs, but day in and day out, I am always between 130-132 pounds no matter what I do. sometimes I feel like going down 15 more pounds only to say I am super thin as when I was 18... but when I look in the mirror I think I am thin enough and losing more 15 seems too much. I did not do gym this year but am considering strenght training to try to see if it can somehow improve the skin issues.
- I am not happy with what happened with my boobs ;( I might consider a lift and silicone in my future. my thighs are a little saggy but depends on the position I am in. I can live with that. my arms are bat-wingy too depending on the position, lol. my tummy looks almost perfect. I still have a butt... that's where the 15 pounds are haha. I am super white but have an african-american butt ;)
- ANY clothes I try now look good on me, it's kind of crazy as opposed to before when nothing fit or looked good.
- I achieved all my OH goals. the only one missing is finding real love but the surgery gave me the boost I needed and I still believe I will get there. been kissing many frogs but I know the prince is out there looking for me.
- surgery makes life easier but does not correct your insecurities, self-esteem issues and depression. you will still have to work on these and even if you're thin, it's not that easy.
- I am really happy I made this decision a year ago. It was scary as we can't possibly know what to expect, but I am SO thankful I did it. I feel comfortable in my skin and am not ashamed and self-conscious of how I look. this is what I wanted and this is what surgery gave me.
1 YEAR, 1 WEEK out.
- Got a size Small Banana Republic dress I bought online today. It is big on me. I just realized I do not want to lose any more weight. My boobs are kind of gone, smaller than ever been, and I feel bones poking out in my belly (femur?) in a really protuberant way. How weird is this feeling?... so it seems I am gonna have to force myself to eat a little more as I really don't want to go down any more than the current weight. I think I will look a bit sick if I do, although it will still be normal BEnough. It was never my aim to be ultra thin, I don't even think it's pretty to be super skinny.
1 YEAR, 2 weeks out
- at annual physical, PCP was extremely happy with my weight loss and lack of health complaints. but ended up recommending anti-depressants as she thinks I've been low for quite a while now. started generic of Zoloft 3 days ago and feeling really weird (insomnia+wired+tired) hope it will pass. yes, surgery solves physical stuff but we still have to work on the internal stuff. who knows, maybe my brain has a chemical imbalance that makes me blue most of the time. I am tired of always end up feeling sad so although I was against it for a while, I agreed to give it a try. let's see how it goes. hope to feel better and function better.
- had my hair died for the first time last Friday to hide a few grays that were too visible... argh. no way out of it at my age, I guess =( I don't like blond at all, so went darker than my naturally dark brown. looks interesting with my blue eyes but it's sad to know I won't ever have that natural shade of hair again...
- happy that Saturn is in retrograde, and will also leave my sign in October, it's been holding me back for 2 years now and I feel the pressure. astrology is actually fascinating.
1 YEAR 3 weeks out
- doctor told me my labs came back with a low thyroid count... I might have Hypothyroidism. how weird is that. new exams TBD to confirm. a lot of things makes sense now: dizziness when getting up soon, cold, fatigue, weaknesss, depression... all symptoms. and colestherol on the high side for the first time... also a probable symptom.
1 YEAR 1 month 2 weeks
- did some more exams for Thyroid panel today but it's pretty clear I'll be on Thyroid hormone medicine. while it's not pleasant to find out you might have a disease that's possibly lifelong, it's good to know the symptoms I've been having might have a cause and can be treated so I can feel like myself again. my PCP seems too conservative to treat me and I want to see this integrative medicine MD who only has a slot on March 26th... oh my can't wait to see him and start treatment.
- been mantaining same weight since mid-December, 2 months and I think I will stay this way.
- been eating all the time in the last month, I feel I have to otherwise feel weak, must be the hypo, didn't gain a pound. weird...
- guy I'm seeing really wants to be with me "forever", get married and so. I should make up my mind or give it up...
1 YEAR 3 months out: April 2012
- being treated by integrative medicine doctor for my hypothyroid (keep wondering if I was treated for this before if I would have lost weight naturally... oh well. probably not.). taking thyroid hormones (natural dissecated one, Armour) for 3 weeks now and feeling my brain fog is pratically gone. still fatigued but I know it takes time. he also gave me Adren-All for adrenal glands insufficiency, and nystatin for yeast in the stomach. this before he did labs for the last two, but he's on to something as I am not dizzy anymore when I stand up... miracle. I attributed this to WLS but obviously not the case... wow.
- Adrenal and yeast meds are totally curbing my insatiable sweet craving I've had since surgery. I thought it was a surgery issue...
- I just hope surgery didn't CAUSE all this... but I don't think so.
- broke up with guy I dated... didn't love him as he loved me :/
- my company is closing office in the city, so I've been out of work for a week... not sure what the future will bring. most of all, I am pissed I have to pay Cobra 600 per month. gotta hate this country sometimes, it's pathetic! specially because I have to treach a good level with thyroid meds and it takes time. I NEED health insurance now more than ever. grr. besides I was used to my really good salary. it's gonna be hard...
- thinking about doing a continuing education course
- somehow the VSG is less of an issue... I can eat quite a lot compared to before. I had Passover dinner with family and was surprised by the ammount I could hold... matzah, 2 kneidalech balls soup, 1 gefilte fish, and main course: fish, roasted beets and carrots, a little haricot vert, a little safron rice with nuts on it PLUS I had a piece of 4 types of desert!: condensed milk flan, chocolate mousse with rapsberry sauce, nuts cookie and also passover cookie with a little jelly! (I know!!! so much!) :O and 2 hours later I had also a string cheese as I was hungry again. I am hungry every 2 hours no matter what I eat... not sure if it's thyroid related or what. time will tell when thyroid and adrenals plus yeast treatment gets optimized.
- sister saw me for first time after surgery and said I am half me. that she hopes it's only the good half haha. she is the only other perosn in my family who is obese and I really wanted her to get encouraged to think about surgery. although her husband is a scientist and kind of against non elective surgeries... she said he will probably be against... as they are also super gourmet people and love eating. she says he'll think she will die... but the truth is she will die if she doesn't do it. she just found out she also has thyroid issues and is going for exams.
- maintaining easily at 130 pounds (60 kg). I eat whenever I want. I realized I don't want to drink shakes anymore... I have to try get proteins from REAL food only. not sure I can do it.
- I am not 100% having all the above recent developments in mind but hoping things will fall into place. I feel discouraged to look for work and for a boyfriend... again. I just want a normal life. I feel normal in my outside, just want to feel normal in my inside as well...
end of APRIL update :( OH NO... BAD NEWS...
- after months of feeling dizzy when standing up, I had a really bad incident happen. was at Target pharmacy to get my new thyroid meds (which I am still trying to get adjusted) and fainted out of nowhere, hit my head and ended up in the ER where they stapled my head.
- the worst was yet to come: after a few days I noticed I could not smell. at all! therefore I can't feel food taste besides telling if it's sweet salty etc.
- ER told me I might have orthostatic hypotension and might have been dehydrated.
all this made me wonder... 1) Am I dizzy as I don't eat enough? 2) Am I dizzy as I am malnourished or so? 3) Am I eating enough? I know about the dehydration part but I am also wondering if I am eating enough. 4) Am I ill? 5) Why my doctors don't seem to care about my dizzyness?
I am really worried about the lack of smell and will go to a specialist as soon as my insurance is restored through Cobra in a week or so. But I know it's a matter of luck, if I hit my head and killed my nerves on the olfatory bulb or if they can regenerate. I have a feeling they are still there as I did smell a couple of strong odors. Please! I don't deserve this... now that my life was getting back on track.
Seriously, if this happened because of something related to the WLS, I would prefer to be fat again than to lose my olfact. You can only realize how important it is if you lose it. Believe me... It's terrible. Let's pray I get it t back. Being unable to eat a lot, and ALSO not tasting food won't lead to a good place! I am not sure I can enjoy life like this :(
mid MAY update
- ENT specialist told me conventional medicine has no cure for anosmia (lack of smell). but that a few people do recover the sense after a while and he's been trying 2 meds for this although it's not scientific, 20-30% people recover up to 1 year after... Piracetam and a mix of vitamins... which I started on this week. Let's pray, I guess... and I am not even religious :/ - obviously a little depressed over this... not sure how life will be if I don't recover the smell.
- PCP referred me to heart ultrasound (cause I'm always dizzy) and neurologist (I still feel weird after head injury).
- kind of frustrated with online dating and the men I meet. they are either not interesting (boring!), not suitable (don't work or so) or assholes (serial daters). no thank you. ugh. what the heck happened to decent interesting people? I bet I am in the wrong city to meet them. - see, what does it matter to look "normal" again if it doesn't help you meet the right guy? wth?
--
I recommend VSG to anyone struggling with weight for a long time (yo-yo effect). It will save your health. I don't believe what they say that people should be stronger and diet or so... some people's bodies and maily HORMONES, I believe, won't let you do that and it's almost impossible for a few. I was really afraid to do something so drastic, it took me months after surgery to be convinced I did the right thing, but now I am sure I did. I eat to live, I don't live to eat anymore. ;) my body and my mind are thankful for that.
IMPORTANT ADDENDUM:
I suggest that anyone looking into WLS check their thyroid levels first (including T4 and T3, not only TSH) to make sure they did not gain all the weight due to thryoid issues. That may be what happened to me, but I was only diagnosed after WLS and after losing all the weight I gained in a few years. As I don't need to lose weight although I started on thyroid hormones, I will never know if I gained weight because of thyroid and adrenal gland insufficiency, but I thought I should put it out there for all of you considering the surgery.
|