getting ready for the return to the work place.  i have been off since the middle of june dealing with moving from one house to another one. downsized is what we did and i am lovinf my little home. 

surgery and recouperation has taken up the last 8 weeks and i am more than ready to go back to work.

i think my scales are stuck though!! i am also dealing with constipation which is not nice. saw Viv on Thursday of last week and she recommended senacot however only to take half a tablet. did that and after 24 hours took the other hald and even though there has been some movement the dam is not broken. so popped a whole tablet so really hoping things break through today some time.  i hate this heavy feeling and not being able to do my business.

otherwise i am looking forward to going back to work. missed it. 

spent some quality time with my granddaughter Sierra. she is growing so very fast and runs like the dickens.  i had to chase after her and i caught up to her. not too winded too which is great. could not have done that a few weeks ago. so small victories are always welcomed. down 2.5 pounds in a week. i am expecting some kind of a stall around this time so not too worried yet but  am looking forward to going back to work and will be using the stairs more so now.

clothes are getting looser so i know that inces/cms are dropping off.  love this gift i have been given. thank you creator!

went to additioneele today and bought a pair of capris and pants in a size 22. wooo hooo. haven't been here in a very very long time.  thank you for my gift Creator.

well today is the 11th of august and i go to see the RNP & NUT on the 15th - monday and hopefully will get some advice.  The last couple of days i have not been feeling myself in that emotionally i seem to be going through some issues.  well this mornign i threw myself a pity party and after about 20 minutes i seemed to be better.  amazing how tears and some inward thinking makes one want to smarten up, or rather want to pick oneself up and get back on track again. 

i think and hopefully will hear something about this from Viviane that what I am experiencing are some of the natural changes due to the weight loss.  i have been on anti-depressants for sometime now and i think they may need to be dialed down a notch now.  also my high blood pressure meds have not been adjusted and every now and then i am feeling light headed and getting nose bleeds which i have not had in a long time.  i have also stopped using my cpap machine.  i keep asking my husband if i am snoring and he says not much at all.  i do have sleep apnea and should follow up with this however i do know my settings are probably too high.  i find that after awhile with the mask on i feel all gassy, my mouth is dry and i cannot breath because it seems like it is too much air being forced in.I will have to see what Viv will have to say.

wrt meals. i seem to be afraid to want to eat and the things i want to eat  - well who knows. i do have at least 1 protein shake a day (almost 40 g of protein per shake) usually for breakfast.  i then have something like an egg -usually scrambled for lunch with tomato slices.  then i have SF jello or pudding for snacks or even cheese strings (1). sometimes it is a popscicle. i never liked them all that much however they are delish now. then for dinner well i have been trying the michelina meals which i cannot finish. where i am running into problems is the after dinner time. i try to have fruit like watermelon chunks or cheese string but i think i need to reassess what i am eating.  i ahve been trying and have liked small amounts of salads with low fat and lo cal dressing like italien.  usually shredded lettuce, small bits of cheese and perhaps a slice of tomato.  i do have some soup on occassion but other than that i am afraid to try other things.  i did try some roasted chicken and some lentil salad however immediately i ended up with pains in my stomach and then ended up vomitting like crazy and felt horrible for the rest of the night.  so that is probably why i am afraid to move one. 

i just need to pull my big girl panties up and get on with it i guess.  

well the surgery happened July 4th at 8 am and i was very happy to finally get there.  i remember all the kind folks talking to me about what would happen, met dr Hong and everyone else then the anesthesist said think of the best thing in your life and you will be asleep in seconds. of course i thought of my Sierra ( 1st grandkid) and then they were waking me up.  after settling into my room and then struggling a bit to get up and about - because they all stressed how important it was to walk i proceeded to do so.  the nurses and drs kept asking me if i had moved any gas yet or had a bowel movement.  after 2+ days i developed a fever and then on july 7yth i had a CAT scan and dr hong said we have to go back in!! what.  well this surgery was worse than the first in my opinion only because i had not healed from the 1st one and it was nasty.  i had JPs installed and 2 more holes/ports.  after the 2nd day i was feeling so much better that they took out the cather and then on Monday the 11th i was released.  was a bit of a go at fisrt but did get it over with and wanted to start the recovery process.

i have sippped and tried not to gulf my drinks, i have tried to get my protein shakes in faithfully but am only doing 2 because 1 is 39 grams so 2 is enough.  i am now onto soft and minced foods and they seem to be tolerated.

only had a dumping session once when i just came out of the hospital which i think is akin to IBS. 

at 1 month my clothes are loose, my new pants i just found are sliding down off my hips, my face is thinning out, my hands and arms seem smaller, the port holes are healing nicely - as long as i do not try to pick the scabs off of them .

i still tire easily, need to take naps, i am trying to walk every day, i go to the clinic on the 15 so will try to see about more exercising after that. maybe the pool??

i am eating a lot less, i get full very easily, i am battling some head hunger but at least i know what it is.

and oh yeah i am down about 44 pounds which includes 16 from optofast pre-surgery but does not inlcude the 22 lbs i gained from the fluids they gave me for the 2nd surgery.   not bad i think. i am very pround of me.