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Cross my legs

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tiffers1971's Blog
tiffers1971's Blog


Last day of My Old Life
on November 12, 2011 8:12 pm
So, its Saturday night.  I'm sitting here in my red recliner, watching Psych (best show ever) and poking around on the internet.  Well, really I'm sitting here trying to find anything I can to occupy my mind.  Today was the last day of my old life.  Tomorrow everything new begins!  Tomorrow is my one day of clear liquids before my surgery.  Then Monday is the big day!!  I'm getting so very nervous. Thank you Amie for letting me go in tomorrow and do some work so I'll have something to keep my busy and focused.  I didnt really think i would be this nervous, but I can honestly say my anxiety level these last few days has been astronomical.  I can't imagine the shape I'll be in come Monday.  I really hope i'm able to get through a lot of work tomorrow so that i dont have to return to a horrible mess.  Plus i dont want my absence to be a real hardship on everyone at work.  But hopefully i'll be returning to work within two weeks.  So with the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday I would only be missing 8 days of work.  Not too bad   I guess I dont really have anything else to say today.  Kind of have too much on my mind to think of anything worth typing LOL.  Take care!

Tiff  
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too much in my head. comes out like word vomit.
on November 6, 2011 1:23 pm
ok.  so i've never done this blog thing before and i'm not sure why i feel compelled to today.  i guess maybe because my surgery is a week from tomorrow and today i just realized that i needed to find a way to get my thoughts and feelings out instead of eating them.  i realize this is hardly a new concept but i think i've put it off because i know that once i get started i could literally type a book.  kinda like word vomit............ lol.  plus i'm afraid that i'll be "using" you guys to unleash my demons and whine all the time.  but then of course, this is MY journal and my way of documenting my adventure and i really do want to get it out there at least for myself as a reminder of where i've been and where i'm going. 

so, lets see...tomorrow i'm meeting with my surgeon for the last time before my surgery.  i suppose he will go over a few details with me and then i have my pre-op lab work.  i'm really anxious and stressed about getting through the upcoming week at work.  i really dont want to leave my co-workers hanging and feel like i need to accomplish getting through the entire month of november in one week. yikes! not realistic at all.  i can't wait until friday so that i will know whats done is done and there is nothing more i can do but relax and prepare for the big day!

My surgeon doesn't require a pre-op liquid diet until the day before surgery.  as an emotional binge eater, this is not proving good for me. i find i've been having more and more food funerals as the surgery gets closer and with out having to really watch what i eat presurgery i find it too easy to justify.  so, i'm going to try to make myself stick to my own self-imposed liquid only week beginning tomorrow morning through to surgery.  my husband thinks i'm nuts for doing it, but my brain is telling me i have to do it to prove my commitment to myself. 

well, if you read this please pray for me and wish me luck getting through this last week! 

Tiffany
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My Story

My name is Tiffany.  I just turned 40 in August of 2011.  I am hoping to be having my REbirthday in October.  I have chosen the RNY and my surgeon is Dr. Erik Throop in Evansville, Indiana.  I am married to a very kind man and we have two children (daughter age 17 and son age 6).  I have not always been overweight.  I actually didn't start gaining weight until I was around 23 years old.  It took many many years for me to put the weight on and many many more for me to actually see it in the mirror.  In the last year my health has begun to take a few turns for the worst. I have very high blood pressure and sleep apnea.  In February I also had to have surgery for a herniated disc that resulted in cauda equina syndrome and left me with a lot of difficulty walking.  While I know that all of my sypmtoms will not be relieved by weight loss surgery, I am very hopeful that it will allow me to walk with a less pronounced limp.  I pray that everyone is blessed with a safe and enlightening weight loss journey.