ObesityHelp

I am so behind on posting.  I so apologize.  I am working full-time and in third semester RN school.  Needless to say, I am extremely busy.  So much has happened in my life.  I just don't have time to explain.  I am doing really well, feeling great, but still need to lose about 20 pounds.  I think I'm kind of  happy where I'm at, but I'd really like to take off the last 20 pounds.  I still feel fat even though people tell me I'm skinny.  Skinny, me.....who ever thought someone would say that about me.  Wow, it feels amazing to hear, but I know that isn't the case since I know what size I wear.  Anyway, I will really try to post soon.  I added a picture so that people can see where I'm at.  I hope everyone is doing great!!  Don't give up, it is so worth it!!  :)

I finally posted my one year photo.  When I look at my first picture and compare it to this one, I honestly wonder who this person is in the picture.  It can't be me.  How did I change so much?!  I still have my times that I feel as though I haven't lost any weight when I look in the mirrow.  Those times are occuring less and less, but they do still happen.  I also feel like my hips are still really big.  I am trying to come to grips with it and realize that they aren't as big as I think.  I still need to lose another 25 pounds, and hopefully that will happen.  If I stopped here, I could live with it, but I hope that isn't the case.  I wear a small to medium top, and usually a size 10 pant.  The waist is always big on the pants so I always have to wear a belt.  I'm okay with that.  lol I love high heals and have no trouble wearing them.  Something I never would have done before.
 
I have a friend who said that he considers me to be skinny......me???  That sounds so weird when he says that.  I never thought someone would describe me as skinny.  I still see all my flaws and usually point them out when someone pays me a compliment.  I guess I'm just not use to it.  My husband says that I am literally skin and bones.  I love the sound of that.  Actually, I love my bones!!  It is such a great feeling to see my collar bones, ribs, hip bones, etc.  I never thought I'd see those again.  I also love how prominent my veins are now in my hands.  Something you could hardly see before.  It's the little things that mean so much now to me.  

I could ramble on and on, but I think you get the picture.  Anyone that has gotten to this point, knows what I am talking about. Everyone else that is on their way, just stick with it and you'll get here too.  It is such an amazing journey!  I hope everyone is doing well and if you have any questions, please feel free to write.  :)

Wow, where has the time gone.  June 4th was one year for me.  As of that day, I had lost 100 pounds.  Wow, I still can't believe that!  That day came and left and not once did I realize what day it was.  It wasn't until a couple of days after that I realized my one year anniversary had passed.  So much has changed.  I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was a year ago. Sure, some things are the same, deep down I still have the same beliefs and love for people, but my attitude about life has changed.  I've been told by a few people that I am more confident.  I would totally have to agree with that.  I'm not afraid to do new things, or meet new people.  This surgery has done so much for me!  I have so much more energy.  People now think that I'm a fast walker and comment about having to keep up with me.  I still have my times when I feel big.  I'm not sure if it's because I have more to lose, or if it's in my head.  I so love to buy clothes now.  I'm not happy with how I look naked, but hey, it's better than it was before.  lol  I struggle at times with food.  I don't really like food and usually prefer not to eat.  When I do feel like eating, I make sure I do.  Some family seems to have an issue with it, but I think it's healthy.  I drink my protein, take my vitamins and eat small amounts of healthy stuff.  I don't eat a lot, but I think that is the idea of the surgery.  lol  In the beginning I hated the way I could only take little sips of drinks.  Now, I take large drinks just like I use to without any problems at all.  That was a big improvement for me.  I knew I couldn't live the rest of my life only taking little sips. I want to lose at least another 30 pounds.  If I do that, I will weigh what I weighed when I got married.  Not sure if I'll be successful or not, but we'll see.  But then I never thought I'd reach 100 pounds either as I was plotting along, and yet I did.  :)  I need to have my labs done and am, curious to see how they are. Hopefully all is okay with those.

I hope everyone is doing well.  For those just starting out, hang in there.  It really does get easier.  Before you know it, you'll be writing about your past year.  :)

I am now looking forward to my one year mark.  I have about two weeks left until that day.  Where has the time gone?  I honestly can't believe it has been that long.  Nobody else can either when I mention it.  I am hoping to reach 100 pounds lost by that date.  I think I can do it, I only have 2.2 pounds left.  The only thing that will stop me is if I hit another stall.  I'm really hoping it happens though.  I have had a lot of ups and downs through this journey and there have been many many times that I didn't think I would make it this far because I would hit one stall after another, but it does come off eventually.  Some people just have a hard time at it, but when you look back, you see it does happen.  So whatever you do (new people) try not to get too discouraged along the way.  It's easy to do when you focus on the short term, like what the scale has said for the last week or so, but when you get to a year plus, and look back, you see all the progress that you have made.   That is when you are amazed at all the changes.  

My family is starting to tell me that I am getting too skinny.  I think this is a normal response since they are so use to me being overweight.  I  know this isn't the case since I am still considered overweight on the charts.  If I could have plastics done, I would be at a normal weight I'm sure, but that isn't something that will happen at this time, if ever.  When I say I need to lose at least another 30 or so pounds, they start to look at me like I'm crazy.  I could totally understand it if I was a size 2, but I'm not.  I currently wear a size 10.  

Shopping has become so much fun.  The only problem I have now is buying things that are small enough.  For some reason I keep trying to buy a size larger.  When I get it home and try it on, I realize it is too big and have to take it back for a smaller size.  I never thought that would happen.  Even when I hold pants up and think they look too small, they somehow fit.  That is probably one of the best feelings.  I absolutely love shopping now.  I always seem to find really cute clothes.  I also love shoes now.....high heel shoes that is.  It is very rare for me to have a flat shoe on anymore.  I just love heels.  :)

I am feeling great.  I try to take my vitamins daily and drink my protein.  If I forget for a few days, I start to feel tired.  I try to eat healthy, but I have to be honest, I don't eat very much.  If I eat two actual meals in a day, I feel pretty guilty about it.  For some reason, I feel like I overate.  I know that I haven't, but I also know how I lose and eating two meals in a day is not how it happens for me.  I don't really like food a whole lot anymore.  It truly is just fuel for my body most of the time.  I get tired but that is usually because I don't sleep much.  I have turned to caffeine to make it through my days and the biggest thing I consume in a day is my cup of teas.  I have several of those.  I still fight nausea a lot, and go on and off the Carafate.  I know the caffeine doesn't help, but it is the one thing I enjoy and most days, it is how I make it through my day since I work 12.5 hour days.  I'm not complaining since I had stomach issue prior to the surgery.  I get a little tired of feeling sick, but I really am use to it in a sense.  

Life is good right now.  I now know that my future looks bright no matter what life brings.  I hope everyone is doing great on their own personal journey!! 

Wow, today is 11 months for me.  Where does the time go?!?! I honestly can't believe it's been that long!  So much has changed in that period of time.  Of course there is the obvious, I have gotten a lot smaller.  95.6 pounds smaller to be exact.  I'm not averaging 10 pounds a month, but I'm happy with all that I've lost.  I had several months where I only lost about 5 pounds in the month, but I seem to be back on track for now.  I have had to stop eating and be diligent in drinking my protein.  So now, most days consist of two scoops of protein (60 grams) that I take to work with me.  That is my breakfast and lunch.  Then I have a small serving of cottage cheese and a few bites of meat for dinner.  Sometimes I'll throw in an Atkins bar if I want a treat or am still hungry.  This is the only way that I can lose weight.  I am taking my vitamins so I feel great.  I only sleep about 5 hours a night and I seem to have plenty of energy.  I have to confess though, I start my day with a cup of tea and someone got me hooked on the 5 hour energy drinks.  I work a 12 hour day and those seem to help me get through the late afternoon-evening hours.  I'm not happy about all the caffeine, but I figure it could be worse.   I'm hoping to lose 100 pounds by 1 year.  I should be able to do it.  I did get the depoprovera shot the other day and I'm hoping that doesn't slow the weight loss down.  If it does, I won't get it again.  
Although I am looking good with my clothes on, I'm not very happy with how I look naked.  My arm, stomach and legs, leave something to be desired.  I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to fix any of those things, so I'm just trying to be content with how I look clothed.  It is certainly a lot better than how I looked before.

I currently wear a size 10 pants!!  Woohooo!!!  Before losing the weight, I wore a size xxl in scrubs.  I had to go buy some the other day because my current ones were too lose.  I currently wear a medium.  Wow, how did that ever happen?!?!   People are starting to say I am skinny......me.  I know I'm not skinny yet and still have a good amount to lose on my hips and legs, but my upper looks a lot better.  I never knew my clavicles could stick out like they do!!  I like it...I like it a lot!!  hehe 

I now enjoy healthy eating.  I can make bad choices and I won't suffer too much, but I don't want to.  I enjoy eating healthy and feel like I have more energy when I do.  It has now become a decision that I choose to make daily.  I do it for me. 

For all the new people, just stick with it, and you too will do great!!  You also won't believe all the changes you go through.  I hope everyone is doing great!!  :)