Gosh I didnt realize how long its been since I have posted a blog. I have really been slipping on this. Its been a crazy year so far.  First of all let me say that this surgery has been the most wonderful thing I have ever or will ever do for myself. I started this journey at 320 pounds and I am down to 160 pounds. I have literally lost half of myself.  I have to reintroduce myself to family and friends sometimes if they havent seen me in a while. Its a great feeling for people to tell me that I am skinny and dont need to lose anymore weight. All my life I have always been told about the new diets or the healthy habits that I should try. The best thing that I have been told (and I am sure we all have) is "you have such a pretty face" lol   I have always been the fattest person of my family. Now I am not marked as that person.  My MS is up and down and I battle with that daily. I use to stress over the least little thing but I have come to realize that whatever happens is going to happen and theres not a thing I can do about it.  There has been so much death and sorrow in my family recently.  I know that God doesnt put on you no more than you can handle but good grief I have had more than my share!! lol  I had a great uncle to pass away. He didnt even realize he was sick but dropped dead with a stomach aneurism.  Then after that I had an aunt to accidently overdose on her medicines and was found dead in her bed.  Then after that a very dear friend that was close to my heart died of cancer that had spread all over her body and went to her brain before it was found.  Nowwwww my grandfather is dying. Just over the past 24 hours, the family has been called in.  Hes on hospice and at home but not doing very well at all. He could go any minute of any day.  He always wrote poetry when he was younger so I have attempted to write on in his memory. I LOVE YOU GRANDPOP!!!!!




  Bobby Jackson was his name Fishing and loving his family was the name of his game   He was a strong and kind man Always willing to give a helping hand   He never had much money and had to work till he thought his hands would bleed But to him his wife and his children was all the reward he would ever need   People who knew him knew a wonderful man He always had that kind touch that came from his hand   Some of us called him daddy, some of us called him grandpop,and some of us just called him friend But we all called him wonderful all the way to the end   We was all blessed to have the opportunity to have him in our lives each day We always took to heart each word he had to say   God has took a true angel home to be with him now We all miss him dearly and to go on we arent sure how   He loved us all dearly with all of his heart Even through death we all know that his  love will never part   We will always love and miss you and wanted you to stay around But God has you now in his arms with all of his love abound.   Rest in peace granddaddy till we see you again In Gods presence with that love that never ends   Granddaddy wrote a lot of poems all wonderful and true I'm just trying to give him one last and final poem that was way overdue     He suffered in the end with his pain and sorrow But now there will be no more pain tomorrow   Your memories and love will always live on For we shall keep them alive until every last Jackson is gone   Our hearts are heavy from your passing But we take comfort in knowing your in Gods angels with his love ever lasting    


 

Wow, its so hard to believe that its already been a year since my surgery. This past year has been full of ups and downs.  I am maintaining at my goal give or take about 5 pounds.  If I stay this size, thats perfectly ok with me. I would like to lose 20 more pounds or so but if i dont then thats ok. My family and friends are actually telling me to stop losing weight.  All my life I have had people telling me that I have such a pretty face and if i could just lose some weight I would be a knock out.  Well I am far from a knock out but I do feel much more confident about myself and more happy with myself.  I have dropped around 150 pounds from my heighest weight.  Thats freakin awesome!!! Never ever did I imagine that I would be at a smaller weight than I was in junior high school.  My Multiple Sclerosis has slowed down right now. THANK GOD!!  Thats my only  health complaint these days.  I know that this surgery saved my life in more ways than one.   My dad finished his chemo therapy and is now getting ready to start his radiation.  His doctor says he feels like he will be cancer free after the radiation is done.  I am praying for that to happen.  I have a new great nephew born September 7, 2007.  His name is Bryson Kyle Roberson and hes just the most precious thing.   I lost an aunt a few weeks ago. She was found dead in her bed by her grandchildren.  It was a total shock to the family and devistated us all.  I know shes in a better place now and not suffering anymore though.  My grandfather is on hospice and not doing very well.  Hes tired of fighting and ready to rest. I dont blame him at all. I will miss him dearly but I understand that his body is giving up on him.  Theres been alot of trials and tribulations thru this year but I can thank God and my surgeon that I am healthy enough to withstand these things in my life.  I cant wait to see what the next year hold for me.  My son is so proud of me and tells me how great I look all the time. Hes battling obesity himself and I am doing my best to try to help him defeat it before it goes into his adulthood.  Hes a great kid and so full of life.  Hes my rock and what keeps me going thru this hard life.

Its been a while since I have wrote anything. Life has been so busy for me. My mom moved home from Florida and has moved in with me for a while. YAY!!!  I love having mom around to spoil me. lol   My niece is expecting her first child and she has been having a few contractions but we have YET to have a baby!   My father was diagnosed with T-Cell Lymphoma which is a blood cancer.  He has recently started his chemo and his hair is beginning to fall out.  Today he shaved his hair off because he is waking up with clumps of hair on his pillow. They had to remove a tumor off of his spine and he hasnt been able to do much because of that. Its hard to see my father going thru this. He has always been the type to never ever stay still. He is always going somewhere. If the chemo and radiation doesnt work then he will have to have stem cell replacement.  His morale is really down right now. I'm praying that all of this trouble will be behind him soon.  My weight loss has started to stall. Thats fine with me because I am at my goal weight. I wouldnt mind losing another 20 pounds or so  but if i dont, thats perfectly ok with me.  I havent had any caffeine since my surgery on November 6, 2006. I dont miss it.  The sugar is a different story. I catch myself sneaking around and eating a piece of candy or a cookie. I'm really trying hard not to fall back into that old routine but its soooooooooo hard. lol  I guess I cant complain as long as I stay at my goal weight.  My multiple sclerosis is about the same. Its so frustrating sometimes. Its affected my memory and my balance. I want to start walking so badly but right now I just cant.  I had a nerve test run and was told that I have bad nerve damage on my left leg from my knee to my foot. Thats causing the drop foot that I have. I was told that it could take as long as a year for it to completely heal. My body aches and tingles constantly. I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. I try to stay strong though. There are days that I feel like I just cant go on. I always try to remember that tomorrow is a new day!

These past few weeks has been an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. My multiple sclerosis is still acting up but I remain hopeful. I have an appt with a MS clinic on monday and hopefully they will be able to help me.  I fell about three weeks ago because my left foot has been numb and has caused what is called "drop foot". My ankle swelled up very badly and was painful. I went to the emergency room and was told that I tore all the ligaments and chipped a bone.  I have been in a boot cast and on crutches for the past three weeks. I go for a check up tomorrow so i'm hoping they will let me take off the cast and go without the crutches.  As far as my weight is concerned, I AM AT GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I never thought this day would get here but it has. I am now weighing 176 and have a BMI of 24.5. For me this is a lifetime achievement. I never thought this day would get here. I didnt even weigh that in Junior High School.  I love the new me (saggy skin and all!!!!!)  Things are definately looking up for me!

Its been 7 months since my surgery on November 6th. Its been one heck of a ride so far.  Before my surgery I was wearing 30/32 pants and 3x-4x shirts. Now I am wearing size 10 and 12 jeans and large shirts. I never ever imagined I would ever wear sizes like that. I couldnt be anymore thrilled. According to the BMI, I my normal weight is around 164. If I never hit that normal mark, I am still totally pleased with my weight loss. People actually are telling me that I dont need to lose any more weight. I have never in my life been told something like that. I dont think I wore sizes like this in Jr High School.  On a bitter note though, my MS is really giving me fits. I have started my third round of IV steroids this week. In the past, I only had to do 3 days worth but this time I am having to do 5 days worth. A nurse comes to my house and hooks me up to the IV here at home. I DID weigh 187 pounds but since I have started the steroids, I am up to 191. I know thats just a few pounds, but its killing me to see the scale go back up again.  I pray that I dont get much more weight that I have to take off again. I'll deal with it though when the time comes.  I hope that they can get my MS back under control again. I have come too far in this journey to let MS take me right now. I have to fight it with all that is in me. ALL PRAYERS ARE WELCOMED!