June 26, 2007

Well.. its been a long time since i was on here.  ALOT has changed for me.  I haven't had surgery... YET.  I have moved up to the Sacramento area (Citrus Heights) from San Diego in Feb. of 2007.  I was in the Program down in San Diego to have the surgery done there, I was SOOOOOOOOOO close to having it... by a few weeks I'm thinking, But so much happened to me and it was too much to handle.  ( lost my job, house fire, ect.)  I decided it would be best for me to put the surgery on hold until things were better for me.  My then Boyfriend, now hubby, (got married on may 13, 2007) decided it would be best for us as a family and a couple to make the 450 mile move to Sacramento to be closer to his family.  WELL.... because my insurance carrier was San Diego based (community health group) they wouldn't cover me up here, OBVIOUSLY.  So in the long run it screwed me cause I had no insurance to cover my meds for diabetes and blood pressure.  I went to the hospital this past weekend and HOLY CRAP... my blood sugar was 416 and my BP was 209/140... I decided then, while spending 12 hours in the ER that it was time to start thinking about ME again and do something that I need to do to be healthy.  

March 18th, 2008

Well nothing has happened. I gave up on the whole ting for a little while.  My mom got really sick with lymphoma. She recently passed away, not from the cancer but from septic shock.  Which I think was negligent.  Anyways, I am taking her death and running with to help me get healthy.  She was only 65, almost 66 in April, and she was just too young to go. It really wasn't her time.  This fact saddens me to heartbreak.  I wanna be around to see my kids and grand kids for years and years to come.  Come to find out, her mother died @ 65, her sister died @ 65, and now her @ 65.  That scares me. SOOOO... I need to get back on track and figure out how to lose all this weight.  I have probably gained even more, since I am an emotional eater. I hate that about myself.  How come I cant be one of those emotional starvers??? Grrrr @ genetics. lol I will try and make an appointment this week to see my primary care doctor and see what she says.  Wish me luck!!

SO NOW begins MY journey to being HEALTHY!!!


Oct. 5th 2008

Well yet again, another like 6 months have passed and still NOTHING!!! My doctor with blue cross is a complete medieval fool. He actually had the balls to tell me I just need to join weight watchers and exercise and I would lose the weight. Wait, I think I tried this crap b4 and here I am sitting with an extra like 150 pounds around my waist. SOOOOOO I have decided to bust out the $50 a payday and get Kaiser through my job.  It begins on Nov. 1st. I cant wait. After I get all the physical and "female" stuff done, I will talk to my new PCP about a referral  WOOO HOOO... I finally feel like I might be able to make some progress.
Since my mom passed away in early March, I have probably gained 20 pounds. This depresses me sincerely. I cant believe my sub conscience would let me do that to myself. Flipping emotional eater I am!!!!!!  OH YEAH.. then I got my husband telling me all I need to do is stop eating, that's what he does, so if he can do it so can I. I'm like you dumb ass, do you realize I am a diabetic??? If I don't eat, I'm gonna pass out. retarded I swear.  He only eats like 1 meal a day. Wish I could do that, I guess I wouldn't be a fat now.  GRRRR @ HIM!!!!!!!
So yeah, that's where I am right now in life, WAITING yet again... My biggest pet peeve EVER!! Hopefully I will be able to speed up the whole process and maybe by my b-day in early Feb. I can get an answer. I am crossing my fingers..... Ill keep you posted!!!

January 17th 2009


Well..... here it is again like what 4 months since I posted last?  OMG... so much has happened, yet again.  Well Oct. 16th I lost my job.  The whole banking industry pretty much fell apart, including my job.  I was released.  So, my benefits which were supposed to start Nov. 1st ceased to begin.   I am still on Anthem Blue cross and have an appointment to see my PCP on Monday the 19th.  I will ask then to get a referral to see a surgeon.  I am so tired of being big. Plus since my mom died, I still haven't lost that 30lbs of emotional eating I have gained.  I know for a fact I need to do something, this is ridiculous!!!!!! I cant even barely climb the damn stairs in my house without being winded! Isn't that just dumb?!?  So yeah, Hopefully it wont be like 4 months til I write again, I am on this site like 3 times a week, you would think I would update once and a while! LOL


August 20, 2009


Well, I have an appointment to see the surgeon on August 27th.  I have already gone to the first of 3 seminars, the introduction seminar like 2 weeks back.  They required that I go to this one before the surgeon would even agree to see me.  Today I go to the other 2 seminars which should be enlightening.  The first part of the 3 hours is the nutrition portion and then the second half is the support group.  I am actually looking forward to this just to get a general idea of how things might go for me on my journey.  When I weighed in @ my intro seminar I was 318.2lbs. This is the most I have weighed not pregnant.  Even then the most I weighed pregnant was 322 and that was the day I had my baby. That's SAD!!!
I am looking forward tot he near future to see what God has in store for me.  I am going grocery shopping tomorrow and hopefully will learn some good facts in the nutrition group.  It is gonna be about going to the store and making good choices.  I need to lose some weight before my Doctor appointment on Aug 27th, to show that I am making a start on the whole progression of my journey.

WISH ME LUCK !!