I can't help but feel so down in the dumps today.  I came home 13 pounds heavier from the hospital, I'm sure it's fluid and swelling from the surgery - but ugh! I have lost 5 of the pounds and I'm sure the other 8 will go away as well, but I feel so bloated and yucky.  I want to be out and about doing things and I just am too tired, I keep thinking it's only been since Wednesday that I had surgery, but for some reason I think I should feel better.  I also keep thinking about how terrible my stomach looks (swollen and dimply) and I wonder if I will ever look the same or if my clothes will ever fit again.  I know that these are unrealistic thoughts, but I can't seem to quit having them.  Thank God my husband is so supportive and understanding, he takes such good care of me even though I can be such a pain in the arse some days I'm sure. 

I am finally home from the hospital, I ended up staying longer because I had several adhesions as well as alot of intestines through the hernia that needed to be placed back where they belonged.  The surgery took 5 1/2 hours and I have 5 small holes and one 4 inch one.  I'm so glad it's over and I am home, hopefully I can stay away from hernias/adhesions now :)

My daughter asked me why my bones stick out and touched my collar bones - OMG!!!  I almost cried, it's funny how you can hear from so many people "you look great", "you have lost so much weight" and buy new clothes and notice a change in pictures, but something like this just takes your breath away and makes you feel awesome!

After a few weeks of feeling like a crazy woman . . . no weight loss, no energy, no desire to do anything . . . I have noticed a small amount of energy!!  I have been walking, no marathons, no overboard as I usually do (thanks Judi ), just walking and enjoying the scenery!  I think I am finally breaking through the plateau that I have been on for the last month or so, I have actually lost some weight this week -yippee!  I bought some biotin since my hair continues to fall out by the handfulls and I don't think I can cut it much shorter! I am hoping is helps, guess it can't hurt.  I am so happy my friend the godess has gotten a date, the best news I've heard this week!  All and all, with the good and the bad I would never take back my decision to have weight loss surgery - it's truely changed my life for the better! 

I have decided that it is my time to do the 5 day pouch test.  I have gone several weeks with little or no weight loss and I want to get a jump start!  I also plan to start back at the gym, I know this cannot be the end of the loss for me, it just is going to take more work then before I'm afraid!  I do feel like I have more energy this week, probably because I am over my period, not sure what I am going to do about the problem of exhaustion for an entire week or more each month, but I will probably need to see the doctor since my labs are all A-OK!  

And several hours later at 4:30 in the afternoon . . . I don't know why I even started the pouch test, I have proven over and over and over again that I cannot diet and when I start restricting my eating in this way, my brain says "diet".  So . . .I am no longer doing the pouch test or any other form of dieting, I chose to have surgery to get away from my constant start/stop dieting! So what will I do about my stall?? I will hit the gym again and continue . . . .I need to exercise, I need to exercise, I need to exercise, I need to exercise . . . it will eventually sink in!

Well only 3 more days until I leave for San Antonio - very excited!!  I have spring fever so this will probably not help, but it will be so nice to be in the warm weather!  My weight has not budged for the last two weeks!!  I need to remember to be patient, but it's so hard sometimes!  Even though my weight has not gone down I do feel a difference in my clothes, so that is a plus!  This last week everyone has commented on my weight loss, which is nice, but I keep thinking yeah but I haven't lost any for a couple of weeks!  Anyways . . . not much to report, but I do need to keep this up to date so there it is . . .

I finally got my 6 month pictures up on my profile, I was amazed when I took these pictures, I can see a big difference now and I'm not so sure I could before??!!??  I also received word back from the doctor about my labs and they are actually better than they were before I had surgery - imagine that!  I am so glad, it definately puts my mind to ease.  I have been exercising (still) and feel great, but the scale is not moving!  I know that this happens every month, I stall, lose, stall, lose, so at least I know this is a normal occurrence for me.  Not much else new, just waiting until spring because I'm so sick of winter and being indoors - yuck!

I went shopping at the mall last night, I have a trip coming up for work and I need some dress clothes for the conference.  They were having huge clearance sales and I had SO much fun!  I bought clothes in the "normal" size department and was able to buy size 12 pants!!  They are tight on me right now, but my conference is in one month, so I think I will be okay.  I bought three pairs of pants, a skirt, and 4 blouses and spent $54, WOW!  I saved $350!!  My weight has been at a stall for the last week so this was a great boost for me!  I have decided to really watch what I eat, I think that I have been snacking too much and not exercising enough!  I found some protein powder at Walmart last night that has 25 grams of protein per serving so I am going to try to drink shakes three times/day to increase my protein intake.  I have been losing hair like crazy and hope that this will help to gain some of the hair back - I had so little before I started this process!  I go back to the doctor on February 15th (next Friday) and I can't help to think I haven't done well enough.  I don't understand why I have these feelings, like what I have accomplished will never be good enough . . . ugh, guess that is just another one of my issues to work on as I travel this road to the new me! 

81 pounds gone forever - yeah!  I am so happy!  I have not been this weight in at least 10 years, probably a little longer and it feels great!  I will try to blog more later, but I'm tired now and need some sleep! 

Below you will find a brief list of the menu for each day. Please click the "Read more" links for further detail and hints and tips that will enable your success with the 5 Day Pouch Test.

Days One & Two: Liquid Protein
low-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding. Read more.

Day 3: Soft Protein
canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy. Read more.

Day 4: Firm Protein
ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut. Read more.

Day 5: Solid Protein
white meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game
Read more.

Good luck! I believe you are going to like the results when you give this plan an honest try.

I'm going to San Antonio Texas and I'm very excited!  Even though it's for work it will be so nice to get away!  I will be there the first week of March and can't wait and maybe I will even be able to go shopping!  I've decided I need to really work hard for the next couple of months so that I am ready to buy some new clothes while I am there!  I am going to start saving some money as well - that may be the hardest part .  My husband keeps saying that he wishes he were coming with me, and to be honest I am very happy to just be going alone - I need this time to relax and be with me!  I find my thinking is changing because I checked the hotel out to make sure there was an exercise area - sick I know!  I just feel so good now that I exercise daily and I don't want to stop while I am out of town.  My weight is still higher than I think it should be, I work and work and it just seems to be hanging on, I have lost 71# and hope that the weight starts to eventually fall off again, guess I can only do what I am already doing, watch the food and keep on exercising.