ObesityHelp

So, long story.  Kristyna is interviewing at Gap today.  She wanted to scope out the store yesterday as she's never shopped there and of course neither had I.  First off, they had clearance less 40%!!!!  Awesome deals.  We were poking around and found a few things to try on.  Since Kristyna is so trendy, she kept bringing me stuff to try on.  I am happy to say that I can fit a size 8 pants and a size M top at GAP!  Never thought I'd see the day.  So far, she's had me shopping at American Eagle, Wet Seal and now GAP.

Before we left we stopped in at Aeropostale to check their sales.  She needed some tank tops anyway.  Their sales weren't great but they had really cute braided belts on sale for $7.99.  I bought a brown and a black both in medium.  I can share belts with my skinny minny daughter!  It really made my day :-)

I really hope she gets the job at GAP because they had some really cute jeans that I won't buy without a discount :-)

Ewwww and Horrible all at the same time.  Everyone always says you have to re-learn your eating with every fill.  Well when you wait an entire year between fills you really should remember that.  One bite of dry hamburger patty and I was in pain and sliming for an hour.  That was Friday, fast forward to Saturday dinner, it was so yummy, refried beans, taco meat and a little shredded cheese.  I thought I was hungry and stupidly tried to have "just a little more".  Not such a good idea.  Another horrible stuck episode with pain and sliming and a small panic attack.  Kristyna was awesome and very calming.  It did pass but boy, how many times does it take for me to learn a lesson?  Today was a great day however, I was very mindful of my eating and portions.  Dinner was very, very yummy and Barry did give me a gentle reminder to not eat too much.  It's hard to always be concious of what and how you're eating.

Wow!  For the longest time I thought my restriction was good but boy was I wrong.  This recent addition of only .2 cc has made all the difference.  It's really kick started the weight loss again.  As of today I have lost a total of 105 pounds and am only 19 pounds from my original goal weight.  I can hardly believe it!

I am back to the very nice feeling of eating dinner and being satisfied for the rest of the night, never thinking of food again.  I had gotten way too comfortable with a snack in the evening.  Breakfast is usually a cheese stick and I can't do that until after 9 a.m., lunch and dinner are each about 1/2 cup total which is protien and a little veggies or fruit.  I haven't been wanting a snack in the middle of the afternoon either.  I am still doing a Muscle Milk Light everyday.  I use it as my coffee creamer and one protien shake makes 3 cups of coffee.  I'm writing this out mostly so that later on when my portion size or meal frequency increases, I can look back and remind myself of what works best for me :-)

Kristyna and I did a girl's night out.  We decided to do a little shopping then dinner.  We went to Kohl's because of course I had a coupon.  I grabbed some capris in both size 8 and size 10.  I never thought the 8's would fit, but Holy Cow they did!  My first pair of size 8!  Of course I bought them.  We also went to Old Navy and their size 8 fit also but the style was weird at the cuff so I didn't buy them.  Bought a cute shirt instead.  We did dinner at Red Lobster, shared an appetizer and a dinner and had a ton of leftovers to bring home.  It was an awesome night all the way around, spending time with my girl and buying a size 8!

Went up to Great Falls yesterday for fill #4, I had .2 cc's put in.  It's been almost a year since my last fill.  I had to drive my mom to Helena so I figured it was good timing.  This with some added exercise should help me lose the rest of my weight.  We joined a gym but haven't gotten into a regular pattern of going yet.  We'll see.  I do enjoy "playing" at tennis with Kristyna.  I have switched back to protien in my coffee and have seen the scale moving, so with the little boost in fill I should do well.  I had noticed my habit of snacking at night starting to come back.  It's not easy to always keep up the willpower.  I realized I missed the feeling of eating dinner and feeling satisfied the rest of the night.  That was my biggest clue that I need a little fill.  My restriction is good but not perfect so I knew I would only need a little.  The doc thinks I should be good for a very long time at this fill level.  He has added a total of 3.9 cc's since surgery a year and a half ago.

The doc's office did take updated pics while I was there and I got to see them.  The change is remarkable.  I still can't believe I was ever that big.  How, oh how did I never see it?  I'm so proud that I've lost over 100 pounds but now I hate answering the question about how much I've lost because it's embarassing to admit that I did have over 100 pounds to lose.  And I was told I have a cute little bubble butt the other day, it just made me laugh :-)

I'm now in a solid size 10 pants.  I'm not buying any more until I fit a size 8.  That's kind of been my goal since the beginning....no more double digit pant sizes.  My shirt size is a large but I wouldn't mind fitting into a medium.  My weight goal is almost another 22 pounds.  Hubby thinks I should only lose 10-15.  We shall see.  I'm happy now but not totally comfortable with myself yet.  I think no matter what, I'll always in some ways, still feel like the fat girl.  It's weird, but I do have skinny days and fat days...it's all a mind game isn't it?