ObesityHelp

Well I am getting ready to leave in about half an hour.  I am very worried as I have come down with a bit of a cold.  What if they wont do the surgery! It is a 12 hours drive, far to long just to turn around and come back.  My dreams will be crushed to boot.  I am so nervous.  What if they dont put me fully to sleep? What if I have complications?  Will my kids behave while I am gone?  I am only doing this because I am selfish, if things dont go well, my kids will suffer.  So much is going through my mind but yet it does not detour me.  I know at the end of the day this is the only answer for me.  I have tried for years, spent thousands of dollars trying to loose the weight.  Joining this program and that, this is what I must do to change my life.   I am so glad that someone else is driveing.  I only had 4 hours of sleep last night.  Did I pack everything.  I went out and bought new soap/shampoo/tooth brush/toothpaste/hairbrush/washcloth/slippers.  I am bringing my vitamins and ensure diabetic.  Hope it is tastey! 

I wonder what it will be like to be thin.  I have dreamed for many years of being able to say "its not like I am 200 pounds"  I know it sounds silly but I have not been under 200 in 15 years.  How long will it take.  Will I ever be able to eat a bite of Steak! So many questions going through my head.  One good thing about the cold, I have not smoked, I dont want to risk hurting my lungs any, I can imagine that couffing after surgery will be painful as well.  I am just not a lucky person I guess.  I hope that not all has been ruined!

Good luck to all - See you on the loosers bench! (hopefully)

Okay, so I am 12  days away from my surgery.  I am so excited, I can not sleep at night.  The anxiety is keeping me up until 3 am.  It is making work oh so difficult.  Good thing I have the day off tomorrow.  Since this is a fairly last minute thing I am having a hard time getting everything done in time.  I am trying to work as much overtime as possible to bank my hours so I can have more time off for the surgery.  I dont know what I will do if I have complications, hoping for the best.  Everytime I eat I think, oh this is my last hot dog, or this is my last porkchop!  Weird how I am already morning the loss of all the food I will not be eating after it is done.  I never really knew how much I depended on food.  I am going to have to find another outlet.  I am hoping that I will have enough weightloss to may play some kind of sports this summer.  I used to love sports and that is one thing I would really like to get back to!