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"Time is time, Life is life, Time last a moment, Time last for ever.....
Ricardo Arjona
My enemy 2 days ago
Hello everyone; I dont feel good today. PCOS is killing me, little by little, is crazy its always been here with me. thats why I had so many problem with my weight and appearance... I have try every diet. and I also being anorexic, this eppisode in my life that I hate but was the only way I keep my weight down.... not knowing that all along it was PCOS and that with this came many other things including eating disoders. I never being this big... I'm so depress, I just want to be normal... I hate this, how come no one have a cure for this terrible disease... My husband being away is not really helping either. I just feel so down, so ugly, so non-woman.
I used to write when I was a teenager. I wrote this when I was anorexic, I dont have the poem right now but it went something like this... "I was referring to my anorexia"
The Monster
It takes me, do everything it wants with me
make me suffer, give me confidence, make me cry"
Dont let me see any more colors, only black and white.
I love it athought I hate it
its my sacrifice, it can also save me
its my friend and my worse anemy
I wish it does not exist and I wonder why God created such a thing
I dont remeber the rest but when I get home I will look for it and posted...
but this is the way I feel right now. the only difference its that my monster now is PCOS...
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Cold Feet! 3 days ago
I guess everyone goes thru this phase, September is far away "for me" I just want it to be tomorrow. I'm getting scared... and I'm asking my self if this is what I really want? Its gonna resolved my problems? will I have complications after? will I miss my stomach? then I think well you literally have to starved your self to loose weight... I need support if someone read this please give the support I need, I need people that have done this allready to tell me "You will be ok" You will be even better"... I think I'm gonna change the date, the more I wait the more cold feet I get...the sooner the better right!? But I need to wait, I have to much stuff here to resolved before the surgery.... I guess all this I'm feeling is not about the surgery this is about something else that is bothering me, but I need to stayed focus.. I'm so glad I'm not alone on this.. that there is so many people going thru what i'm going thru...
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Got the date 5 days ago
ok so, my date is on september 1st... I told my mom to come with me, I think I will need her that day"... I'm very exited. My life will change so much. My husband will come and see me as a new person..."physically" and kind of mental too, I wont be insecure about my self anymore, and my PCOS symtoms will be low... thats what I'm looking foward, get on my size 3 jeans again.. and all that clothes in my closet to fit again... Hope I wont miss my stomach.. and I wont regreat it because there is no way back after.... but I'm convinced that this is the surgery for me, that this is the answer for my problems and this so call syndrome that is destroying my life... to have a period without pills, and to get pregnat in 2010 with out any chemical help.
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Taking the first step on May 8, 2008 4:22 pm
Ok. I talked to Tony (SHSCHARGER) today.. he shared his knowledge and experience with me. He told me I couldn't chosen a better surgeon then DR. Alvarez... I think this is what I needed to make my decision. he explained everything to me and I felt at ease... so I called Susan today and told her I'm ready, she got my information and will contact me tomorrow to see if DR. Alvarez approved it. Thank you Tony for your support!.. You the best..
I'm on my way to a healthier life and a better one...
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The journey beggins on May 8, 2008 5:41 am
so, yesterday I called Susan at DR. Alvarez Office, I had some questions I wanted to ask, she was very nice and explained everything to me. I'm a little scare about doing the surgery, It freaks me out to cut more than half of my stomach, but I know this is the only way to maintain my ideal weight, and this will help me with my polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I'm very exited too I dream at night about it. I hope everything works out well for me...
My husband called me today at 2am, I told him what I was thinking of doing, of course he support me, he said "what ever makes you happy my love" "I will be there for you" he wants to take his R & R leave for my surgery, I told him I dont need him to come, its not going to be that big, plus I want him to come and see the new me lol.... and have fun with him when he gets here, not being sick.
I'm ready for this, I'm ready to change my life...
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My Story
Hello everyone... want to said how glad I am I found this website....
I'm 23 years Old, 183 to 188lb, (I try to loose but it aways come back plus more) I'm 5"3" with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. All my life struggle with my weight... I remember looking at my cousins they were always skinny and I was the only fat one n the group, and asking my self why I'm the only fat one here?,., why? if my whole family is skinny... I used to get so depress, to the point that I became anorexic... yes girls... the only thing that work and keap me in my "ideal" weight was starving my self.... I was like that for about 4 years, then I join the US ARMY, I gain weight in basic training.... about 10 to 15 pounds.... always going up and down, well more up then down.... I felt in love with who is now my husband, and he made me forget about the whole anorexic thing.... but PCOS was always there I just did't know it yet....I got deployed to Iraq and in a year I gain 26 to 30 pounds... my period did not come for more than 7 months I was getting really bad pelvic pain, acne, hair where I wasn't suppostud have it... and so on.... When I got back the Doctor thought I had cancer "military doctors" I got so scared I thought I was going to die.... but then after more tests they told me I have PCOS... and told me to loose weight, like it was my fault i got PCOS cause I was fat... I got out of the ARMY a month after that...since then I been depress, well my husband keep me same, but its hard... we had tried to have a baby and nothing... and I'm just ganning more and more weight and if I loose I will gain back more and easy... so last month I had decided to do something about it... I'm getting surgery and end my misery, this battle with weight that havent let me live my young life.... I'm thinking of getting the Sleeve... My BMI is only 34 and I dont have the other stuff the insurance companies requiered .. since PCOS is not one of then... I have tricare prime.... My husband is now deployed and if my insurance does not want to pay for this I will pay it my self because its time for a change, its time I get the life I deserve.....
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