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Venusgitana's Profile

Username: venusgitana
Location: savannah, GA, USA
Member Since: 5/2/2008
BMI: 32.4
Surgery date scheduled
Surgery Type: VSG (08/29/08)
Surgeon: Guillermo Alvarez M.D.

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venusgitana's Blog

Paper Work check
on May 30, 2008 5:37 am

I have all my paper work! all the instructions and everything I need.. I just need to buy my flight and I'm on my way.. Susan didn't send me the liquid diet instrutions cause my BMI doest needed... I'm on my way... Thak you everyone for ya support!
I'm ready to really start my journey!

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The Monster
on May 25, 2008 8:10 am

It takes me
Does anything it wants with me
Makes me suffer, gives me confidences, makes me cry.
Doesn’t let me see any more colors, only black or white…
I love it, although I hate it
It's my sacrifice, it can also save me
It's my friend & my worst enemy
It helps me satisfy my anxiety
It also makes me regret it.
Makes me happy, although more depressed
I wish it does not exist and I wonder,
Why God created such a thing?
It comes & goes
It makes me strong…
I wonder, who else is falling into its game?
If, they’re going to let it or walk away
It’s a lie & a truth
It makes me hate myself too
I think, when this is going to End?
When will this feeling walk away
I hope it wouldn’t be too late
And let this monster take my life away...

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My enemy
on May 15, 2008 8:05 am

Hello everyone; I dont feel good today. PCOS is killing me, little by little, is crazy its always been here with me. thats why I had so many problem with my weight and appearance... I have try every diet. and I also being anorexic, this episode in my life that I hate but was the only way I keep my weight down.... not knowing that all along it was PCOS and that with this came many other things including eating disorder. I never being this big... I'm so depress, I just want to be normal... I hate this, how come no one have a cure for this terrible disease... My husband being away is not really helping either. I just feel so down, so ugly, so non-woman.
I used to write when I was a teenager. I wrote this when I was anorexic, I dont have the poem right now but it went something like this... "I was referring to my anorexia"

The Monster

It takes me, do everything it wants with me
make me suffer, give me confidence, make me cry"
Dont let me see any more colors, only black and white.
I love it although I hate it
its my sacrifice, it can also save me
its my friend and my worse anemy
I wish it does not exist and I wonder why God created such a thing

I dont remeber the rest but when I get home I will look for it and posted...

but this is the way I feel right now. the only difference its that my monster now is PCOS...

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Cold Feet!
on May 14, 2008 7:48 am

I guess everyone goes thru this phase, September is far away "for me" I just want it to be tomorrow. I'm getting scared... and I'm asking my self if this is what I really want? Its gonna resolved my problems? will I have complications after? will I miss my stomach? then I think well you literally have to starved your self to loose weight... I need support if someone read this please give the support I need, I need people that have done this allready to tell me "You will be ok" You will be even better"... I think I'm gonna change the date, the more I wait the more cold feet I get...the sooner the better right!? But I need to wait, I have to much stuff here to resolved before the surgery.... I guess all this I'm feeling is not about the surgery this is about something else that is bothering me, but I need to stayed focus.. I'm so glad I'm not alone on this.. that there is so many people going thru what i'm going thru...

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Got the date
on May 12, 2008 7:57 am

ok so, my date is on september 1st... I told my mom to come with me, I think I will need her that day"... I'm very exited. My life will change so much. My husband will come and see me as a new person..."physically" and kind of mental too, I wont be insecure about my self anymore, and my PCOS symtoms will be low... thats what I'm looking foward, get on my size 3 jeans again.. and all that clothes in my closet to fit again... Hope I wont miss my stomach.. and I wont regreat it because there is no way back after.... but I'm convinced that this is the surgery for me, that this is the answer for my problems and this so call syndrome that is destroying my life... to have a period without pills, and to get pregnat in 2010 with out any chemical help.

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