i really wish i had something to get me off my butt and motivate me to work out...my health should be enough..its not... getting a surgery date should be enough its not... losing enough weight to fit into stuff i just fit into less than a year ago should be enough its not... in reality its only 15-20 pounds which was my pre anxiety/panic attack/mom getting sick weight but i just cant get the thought in my head to just do it...i feel like i have to force myself to fight for my life... which is pretty much what this is...and how crazy is that? if i was being attacked i would fight back claws out....but i cant get off my ass to work out ...i need to re think this as clawing my self out of a situation and try to rearrange the "Fat girl" thoughts

Well I hope everyone had a great easter weekend!