ObesityHelp

Somebody sent me a message that had read my blog. I forgot I had one on here, so I looked at a couple of posts. It's been over 2 years since I've written anything, so I thought I'd update. My last post said "I hope I don't have to change my habits to maintain ..."  Whoops. It took me longer than most to have a real rebound. I shot from 130 to 145 sort-of overnight without doing anything to cause it. This was at about 2.5 years post-op. I went nuts about it, all the while people were telling me I had been looking anorexic and I looked a lot better in the 140's. This may be true. I recollect going to Goody's at one point and there was nothing in the store that was small enough to fit me. At 145, I was a good solid size 6. This may be partially due to some loose skin - I really would weigh 130 or 135 if I had PS.

A couple more years have passed and I did OK, up until this past summer, I put on some capri pants I hadn't worn in a while and they wouldn't button. (!) Didn't bother me much. I wore dresses to work most of the summer and bought some size 8 capris. My winter clothes (pants) are more unforgiving. When it turned cold weather I put on (or tried to put on) my size 6's and some size 8's from the previous year, which had been tight anyway, and had to lay flat on the bed to get them zipped. Big muffin top going on. I had not weighed in a long time, because I had been in a state of denial, which is something I swore to myself I would never do again. I jumped on the scale, thinking it was 150 --- it was 170.

I had my 50th birthday shortly after that. They did me up good at work with balloons and a coffin, etc., had a surprise party in the break room, and then my family gave me a surprise party at a pizza place after work that day. I had my picture taken maybe 100 times, each time wishing I'd worn something that didn't show the jelly rolls I had developed. (Tight cordoroy pants with brown lacy camisole & lacy cover over it, a little short to cover the excess flesh). So it was time to do some sucking up. I saw the pictures, not as bad as I thought they'd be, just had to admit I needed to make some changes. That's always the hardest part, to 'fess up to what's going on.

I had to take inventory. I still can't eat much at a time, but Lord I was grazing. I was eating every 2 hours, just as I had right after RNY, but apparently I didn't need to keep dong that. I've cut back on carbs and the cravings are slowly going away. I've lost about 10 pounds of my weight, and would like to lose another 20, to get me back to about 140. My size 8's are fairly comfortable now and I can wear some of my 6's again, so I'm making good progress. The RNY is still helping me a lot, I just have to allow it to happen. I fill up soooo fast. The difference is, I can go again in 15 minutes, whereas before I'd stay full for hours. Y'all wish me luck. :)

Yesterday I was 2 years post-op. I'm so glad to get that first two years behind me. My only complications: reactive hypoglycemia, which forces me to eat pretty much constantly, and I may be having some gall bladder problems (elevated liver enzyme, some other symptoms). I took that pill for 6 months that's supposed to prevent gall stones, but I lost another 100+ pounds after that, and I wonder if I'm messed up. Other than that, I'm doing pretty good. I work out daily, I do 60 minutes of weight training every other day, and then cardio on the other days with some stomach exercises. I'm not sticking to any sort of diet, still have a little dumping every now and then but not as much. I hope I don't have to change my habits to maintain. I pretty much eat what I want, within reason, as long as it's not real high in sugar. I have noticed a lot of carbs make me hungrier, so I've got to watch that. We'll see how it goes ...

After making a few changes, the scale is on its way back down. I really only want to lose a couple of pounds anyway, but it's good to see I can still do it. I am dropping back on the peanut butter and trying to get by with one snack in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one at night instead of two. That will put me back at eating 6 times a day instead of 9. I found a new food that will be my new obsession for a while - light flat bread that has 90 calories, 9 grams of fiber and 9 grams of protein, and only 6 carbs and NO sugar grams. Yes, this is an answer to my prayers. It is sold at WalMart by the deli. I made a wrap today with a little ham and Swiss cheese and heated it up, and it was some good. You can also make a little pizza with it. I have also ordered some gnu bars which should arrive the first of the week. They are expensive, so I'll try to eat one a day. They have half your fiber for the whole day, nothing at all in there to make a RNY'er sick, and they're supposed to taste really good. So I've got a month's worth coming by UPS and that'll be my daily treat. I think I've started absorbing all my calories now, and it'll be a daily battle to keep this weight off. I haven't lost that many pounds since last summer (maybe 15 or 20 pounds or so), but everything I've put on is hanging on me, so I've evidently lost a bunch of inches or that 15 or 20 pounds made more difference than I thought it did.

I just keep creeping back up to 130 pounds. I'm still not overweight - my clothes fit the same - some of it's probably muscle because I've been lifting heavier weights - but it's still damn 130 pounds. I guess I want to lose a few pounds, really to have a little room to grow. I noticed over the weekend that I'm pretty much eating whatever I want all through the day. I have been vigorously exercising an hour a day, which is great. I've been doing the #4 program on my treadmill (up to 4 mph @ 10% incline for about 1.75 miles, 30 minutes). The #5 program is still out of my reach - it goes to 5 mph for an hour. Then I do some ab work, arms, stretches, lunges, squats, all the stuff that hurts. I read today that doing this causes women to burn 200-300 extra calories during the day. This is the only thing that has saved me. As of yesterday, I'm tracking my calories again. It's a real eye opener. As of lunch-time today, I will have had 532 calories (half an egg sandwich, Fiber One bar, half a peanut butter sandwich). That peanut butter is the heavyweight, according to sparkpeople, but it seems to make me feel so good. My family wants me to gain weight, and honestly, I can put on a few pounds and still look OK. I usually buy size 4 and have to take up the waist, and my initial fantasy was to wear size 12. I feel like all of Georgia is watching me, waiting for me to grow so they can whisper about it. Really, it hasn't been hard so far. I eat a lot and I even eat a bite or two of something sweet sometimes. This 2-year anniversary coming up has me a little spooked, because a lot of people gain some around that time. But hell, a lot of people start gaining way before that, and I'm doing OK. I am waaay too obsessed with the scale, but with my history, nobody can blame me for being a little paranoid. I see SMO women running around and it brings back so many bad memories.

I'll be 18 months post-op in a couple of days. I wonder if I'm eating too much, since I'm taking in food 8 or 9 times a day. I'd been eating 6 times a day, and it feels like my sugar gets low if I don't eat more often, or maybe it's because I'm exercising more and need more calories? My measurements are:
Top: 36   Middle: 25-1/2  Bottom: 34-1/2
I'm doing lots of exercising (The Firm tapes, treadmill, hiking, soon will bike ride when spring gets here). I'm so proud because of what I can do now - it really means more than smaller clothes (although I really like that too). I'm in size 4 for the most part. People tell me I'm too skinny, but I really like this weight. I just wish I didn't have the SKIN. When I'm doing my work-out, something like push-ups, I look down and see this stuff all hanging down. It's just awful, but I don't want to spend $25,000 to get it taken off, and it sure looks like it would hurt too.