ObesityHelp

Okay, so it's not SCORCHING hot - but when your AC is out (like mine has been for about 4 or 5 days) it FEELS scorching hot.  Last night was a LITTLE better because of the "cold" front that brought all that rain.  But today is warming up again.  The $775 coil to fix the damned thing is supposed to come in tomorrow.  I have an appointment for them to install it tomorrow at 2 because the part is supposed to be in by 11:30 tomorrow morning.  If it is NOT, they will bump me to Tuesday afternoon.  Please God let the part come in tomorrow.

In any event, it's been a whole week since I have updated - partly because I've been at my parents house most of the time due to the heat in this house.  But that's just an excuse.  I don't update enough anymore like I should.

So... what's been going on with me?  Well, let's see.

Work has been very stressful.  I have been extremely busy and can't seem to stay caught up.  I'm making simple mistakes that irritate me (and probably my bosses) to no end.  So far nothing too major, but still irritates me.  I like my work product to be perfect with no loose ends.  I hate loose ends.

My personal life has been great.  I'm under a lot of stress right now because of the AC and the money to get that right.  It's already cost me $300 for their first trip out and tomorrow will cost me at least another $775 that I really don't have.  But other than money and AC, my personal life is great.

My weight loss is going okay.  I am still losing every week.  It varies from week to week.  Last week I lost over a pound, but this week only .4 pounds.  Who knows.  I'm still losing and below goal so it's all gravy.  

I'm thinking of lowering my goal.  My original goal weight was 140.  I'm at 134 now.  I'm thinking about lowering it to 120 which is probably too low.  But I think I'm going to probably overshoot 130 if I set it to 130 and I like even numbers.  Maybe I should set it at 125?  I don't know.  

I just finished the 03/08 bariatric nutrition paper and I think I'm going to post about it.  I'll probably come across as pompous, but really.... do I care?  LOL

I had a slice of Sara Lee Delightful wheat with 2% American cheese melted on top of it with a medium soft cooked egg & 1/2 slice Jimmy Dean turkey sausage on top of the cheese for breakfast this morning.  It was so good.  I've had that meal almost every day for the last week.  I don't know why.  I've just been craving it and it is SOOO good.  It also doesn't heat up the house too much cooking it!  LOL

I'm thinking about trying to make protein pancakes.  I bought some sugar free pancake syrup last night AND some soy flour specifically for that purpose.  So I'm going to try to come up with some recipe for lunch - maybe I'll use some almonds?  Grind them up?  Sounds good.  I'll let y'all know how that turns out.  

My boy is home from band camp.  He's been gone for 4 or 5 days.  It is good to have him home.  It doesn't feel like home with either or my kids away from home for anything over 1 night.  I don't know how I'll handle it when they get bigger and go to college.  It makes me want to cry thinking about it.  I've joked with my son that he needs to go ahead and figure out where he wants to go to college so we can start pricing homes next door to his dorm.  I don't know if I'm joking or not.  He didn't think it was funny.  

I need to get back to LR soon to buy more cases of the Orbitz cinnamint gum I like and Emerald cocoa roasted almonds.  I'm almost out.  I'll probably not get time to go to LR though until the next support group meeting.  I'll just have to make it that long.  

Okay, well I'm off to make me a glass of skim milk because it's time to start drinking for the day.  OMG speaking of fluid intake, I get dizzy upon standing now if my fluid drops below 100 ounces.  That sucks.  I think I'm going to post and see if anyone else has to drink THAT MUCH to keep from having the blood pressure changes upon rising.  Most days I actually DO get in over 100 ounces very easily since it's hot.  But some days, I only get about 85 - 90 (like yesterday) and it's frustrating dealing with almost falling out every time I get up the following day.  Grrrrrr....

Well, I've been in a real funk the last few days - maybe a week or so.  I'm glad to say it finally seems to be lifting.  

I also got paid yesterday which probably helped my mood.  LOL.  Work has actually been better on Friday too.  Hopefully that will last.  

I went shopping last night and today.  Resale/goodwill/thrift store shopping spree.  I got some REALLY cute silver shoes for $5 at Goodwill.  I know... that's a little steep for Goodwill, but they were TOTALLY worth it.  

I ironed 10 shirts & took them to the resale shop where I sell all my stuff at & picked up some more hangers.  I have LOTS more to iron to take in though.  That's just the beginning.  I have an entire heaped over clothes basket full of clothes I have shrunk out of that needs to be ironed & taken in to sell.  But I'll do them in bits & pieces probably since they said it was okay.  My "official" appointment is not for another couple of weeks, so I don't HAVE to be done until then.  But I took those in because they were already ironed to get them out of the house.  

I also took a bag of stuff by Abilities Unlimited thrift store to donate today too.  That's where I take most of my son & husband's stuff since men's stuff never consigns well.  So I got that stuff out of the house too.  

I bought a yoga kit last night and took my first stab at yoga today.  I don't know what I was really expecting.  I did it (hopefully correct) for about 45 minutes.  I didn't break a sweat and it didn't really feel like a workout.  It just felt like stretches and some sort of weird miming.  Maybe I'll try pilates next.  I can hardly wait until I can start walking again.  Either that OR swim.  The pool is just horribly cold to the point of feeling like torture right now.  I can't bring myself to get in it.  Actually, even thinking about getting in it makes me uncomfortable it was so cold last time.

My expensive Dillards facial/eye cream (Estee Lauder) is NOT working to get rid of my dark circles under my eyes.  I hope it's just not working YET instead of just not working (at all).  Only time will tell.

I weighed in at 134.4 this morning - so I am still losing.  Most of my pants are size 4s.  I wear a couple of size 6s though and I think I have one size 2.  Funny how much sizes have changed over the last 10 years.  A size 4 sound so small, but it's really more like an old size 8 or 10 used to be.  So it's not like I'm anorexic small or anything.

OMG.  I took my daughter to Smoothie King last night and the girl behind the counter looked so excited to see me and really complimented my weight loss.  She said something like, "You can REALLY see it.  I mean - from the way you used to look, you can REALLY see it."  I appreciated the comment because I know she was trying to really compliment me, but the way she said it rubbed me a little wrong.  She kind of said it like the way I used to look was horrible.  Really, I didn't look HORRIBLE.  I just looked fat.  I looked REALLY FAT.  I looked really unhealthy.  But I didn't look HORRIBLE.  Or maybe I did and it just bothers me to hear it.  I don't know.  I won't put any effort into ascertaining what's what with regards to this.  It's not important.  She was trying to be nice and compliment me.  That's what I'm going to remember.  

I'm not really pleased with my eating today.  Oh it's been alright.  I went back by Smoothie King today (my son wanted his turn to go) and had a protein smoothie.  It's 380 calories by itself, so that ate up over 1/3 of my calories for the day.  So I'm disappointed that I did that I guess.  Now my fat % is so low for the day that I'm going to practically have to eat a tbsp of lard for supper to get it up to 20% minimum.  I'll have to eat something really high fat for supper to get it up there.  (Last night I had an ounce of almonds to do it.  Who knows what it'll be tonight?)  

I got up the other day and almost passed out while walking.  I guess it's because I let my fluids drop down a little low again.  Not really low for your average person or even post-op I guess.  But low FOR ME.  (Anything below 80 is low for me.)  I don't really understand why our bodies are so different, but my body has gotten used to around 100 ounces of fluid a day.  If it doesn't get it, it starts getting to my blood pressure and that feeling-like-I'm-going-to-pass-out-after-standing thing starts happening.  Oh well.  At least it's the summertime where drinking is relatively easy.  I do worry how things will be in the winter.

OMG y'all.  I almost wet my pants twice this week.  I am NOT kidding.  In fact, both time I actually DID wet my pants a little bit before making it to the toilet.  I have learned since I'm drinking this much water that I had better NOT try to hold it as long as I used to.  It will NOT be stopped for long.  LOL.  So I made a promise to myself not to try to hold it as long as I used to to avoid any more avoidable errors.  That holding it until lunch time (or the end of the day) so I don't have to stop what I'm doing twice thing will NOT work anymore.  

I need a vacation.

I've worked over 3 days in a row now.  I can't do it anymore.  My work is starting to suffer and my emotional well being has started to suffer as well.  

I can't take time off now either because I have so much to do.  I probably won't be able to under the 2nd week in July.  I don't know.  I may have to if it gets much worse.

I can't even put thoughts together to type this. 

I really can't stand stupid people.  I can't believe that in this day and age, they really haven't been genetically weeded out by now.  I mean, how do they even survive long enough to breed?  I guess the ones that do breed so much that the human gene pool still has stupid floating around in there.

I'm sorry - well no I'm not.  Not taking your vitamins post-op is just STUPID.  S.T.U.P.I.D.  Not getting in your protein post-ops is just STUPID.  S.T.U.P.I.D.  I've just looked the word stupid up on dictionary.com to make sure that is in fact the word I want to use.  

It's not ignorance.  Ignorance implies you don't have knowledge of something.  Post-ops know they should take their vitamins and/or get in their protein.  They have been told that they should.  So they are not "ignorant".  They are just STUPID - which is way worse than ignorance in my book.  Ignorance can be fixed.  If someone is ignorant of something, you just tell them the facts and then they are no longer ignorant.  

You can't fix stupid.  Stupid people are usually not ignorant people.  Stupid people generally have the facts, they just chose to disbelieve or ignore them.  They consistently make poor decisions (like choosing not to take their vitamins and/or get in their protein every day).  

I guess I am in somewhat of a frustrated mood today because of the last 2 days I've had.  But I just have no patience for stupid people today.  If you had this surgery to LIVE, take your vitamins daily and get in your protein.  If you had this surgery to DIE, don't take your vitamins daily and/or don't get in your protein.  Simple as that dumbasses. 

I have been so busy the last two days I could cry.  The really bad thing is that Monday doesn't look any better.

I am going to make the most out of my weekend as possible.