wendyvanosdell

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 I know I am being ridiculous. I keep wanting to weigh myself. I wasn't sure if I was on track with the rate of weight loss I am having. I have been overweight for close to 15 years, I had surgery 15 days ago, and I really want to be down 100 pounds. TODAY. What is my problem???  I bought a new digital scale that shows your weight loss to .2 pounds. It doesn't sit on my tile floors correctly, so each time I weigh I have to pull it out away from the wall about 6-9 inches and then turn it sideways, so that it is stable and will read correctly. And I am weighing several times each day. This is ridiculous, and has to stop.
I brought the scale back to Walmart, and I am trying not to buy another one, at least for a week or two.
My clothes are so much looser now, but I want to buy new clothes, skinny clothes, and this is taking soooo long. Yes I am WHINING!!! I want to look sexy, I want to go to the gym and work out. I want to believe that I really am going to lose weight. Somehow I just know that I'm not. Then I think, of course you are, ugh, I am so confused.
It feels so good to see the anticipation and desire in my husbands eyes. To see the excitement of watching the weight come off, I know I need to enjoy this journey, each day that comes. But part of me wants it now!
I just had to vent! Everything is going great, I am healing well, but I get tired really easy. That is probably what is wrong with me today. I have taken the day off, to rest and recuperate! I have been going wide open for days, and I was simply exhausted. I think all this R&R is giving me too much time to think! Best wishes to everyone!

I know I will probably catch grief over this, but here goes anyway. 
I am not eating any sugar free stuff, or fake food, it grosses me out. I am scared of diet sugar, cancer runs in my family very badly. I have never thought it a good idea to eat something that was made in a lab, so I am proud of no longer drinking soda. 
I am eating all soft food though. Chicken and protein plus milk is my basic food to get the protein in.  I was really beating myself up about not drinking the protein drinks and not eating weird stuff, but I have quit. I feel wonderful, and I have energy to take care of my family, I get weak when I only drink drinks. I felt guilty though, because I am not suffering, eating the weird stuff. This is an individual journey and I am doing the best that I can.

I feel like my heart is just overflowing, I am so grateful and so happy. I feel like a normal eater now. All my life I have eaten large amounts of food, I was always thin until the last 13 years or so. But now I get full, it is so weird, and I love it. And it is perfect.
I don't say a lot about my faith, and I shouldn't be that way. The Lord has been with me through this entire wls journey. He helped me so much. When the date was getting close, and I started having doubts, he showed me over and over again, that this was the right thing to do.
The first night after surgery I had a terrible time with my pain meds, they did not work, it was truly horrendous, but even then the Lord never left me. He was there and his presence was so strong, it still amazes me when I think about it.
I am so thankful, and if I can be a help to anyone contemplating having the surgery done, I would be glad to. I am going to post a more detailed account of my experiences in Mexico, but I am still trying to remember everything, and write it down. The anesthesia messed with my minda little, and I can't remembersome parts,  and I am not completely clear about the orderof some things, especially in the first 8 hours after surgery. I have six wonderful children at home, that missed me a lot, and I am still catching up with them. I missed them more than I can say. I was so homesick at night in Mexico I cried- every single night. My husband was wonderful, and I don't think my experience would have been anywhere near this great, had it not been for him. The last day there was like a mini second honeymoon (not sexually- like relationship wise). It was wonderful to be together, shopping and eating, talking,walking, we had so much fun. We don't get away from our children very often, so that probably made this even more special. I just cannot express how wonderful this surgery has been for me.

Today was fabulous! I am having a blast in Mexico. This place is great, immaculately clean. The first night after my surgery was a nightmare, the pain was bad, very bad. I feel better every hour.. I went shopping today, it was really fun. I have taken a ton of pics, I will add them when I get home. Having my husband with me was a lifesaver, it really made a huge difference, I would say you definitely NEED someone with you. I am so gglad I did this.