(5/18/07)
Greetings Beautiful People,

The past two weeks have been chellenging on my job. This post is a much needed vent. Stress is something everyone deals with differently, either by ignoring it, eating it away (been there too many times) or trying to sleep it off. This post may get kind of personal so please pray for me to get over this hurdle. My job is a god-send. I have been employed with the company since December and have already received a promotion to another position. (within 3 months) I have been in this current position since 03/01. The work is actually easier than what I was doing before and I am getting paid more.. wow right ? But the people (my direct supervisor and his superiors) are something else. Admittingly I am someone who is sensitive by nature but these mo-fo's are pushing my holybutton (the sista girl one) There is too much to name about the current taste that has been in my mouth. To make a long story short this is a company that even with a doctors statement your absense isn't excused. They have issues with flexibility for scheduling and basically to make a long story short I only have .05 days (half of day) ot call off or the curtain falls on my head. I did however tell my supervisor that in October I will need a few days to be flexible ( that would be the final stretches of my WLS journey and for appointments that may not be made on Saturdays) he was like well that is five months from now and that it won't be a biggie. He probably doesn't think I will make it til' October.Little does he know that I am obsessed with this surgery and when I am angry at the job or to my last wim that is my meditation. This job is my ticket to my rebirth and I know that the Devil has to bring opposition and challenge to situations.I am going to make i until October in good standing. november wil be the time my paperwork is ready for submission to Cigna with everything done. My PCP is cool so I know I could get my full 12 weeks STD during the surgery. I am not going to be one of those people who ar so bored they rush going back to work. I know that if I just push myself and keep my re-birth in mind Ican make it happen..or better yet it will happen. When you want something so bad that it dominates your thoughts/dreams then you will make it happen ! I am going to make it until the end and hopefully receive my surgery date by 01/07... then take the time and enjoy it!  I know this is the ticket to my success.I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Alrighty I a done just wanted to rant rave and give myself an affirmation.

Goodnight,
Jasmin

(5/12/07)
Greetings Beautiful People,

I had a very unique day. First lets talk about my PCP appointment (big smile) I found this doctor on Cigna.com, last year I had a real jerk so I was finally able to make a switch.  Guys, my new PCP is pro-weight loss surgery!! Yay!!. She told me that I would be an excellent candidate and she has seen many success stories. I told her what surgeon I had in mind and I brought the paperwork with the guidelines that Cigna requested for the PCP 6 month monitored diet. The docotor told me I was very together and that she could tell this is something I really want to do. Let me re-wind for a quick second and tell you that on my way to the doctors office the devil was busy. I live five minutes away... it took me 25 minutes to get there and on top of that I couldn't find my debit to pay my co-pay... thank God they accepted personal checks. I made it there by tthe skin of my teeth, I have some labs scheduled (to check my cholestorol, to see if I am diabetic and to do some other things) I go on 05/26 for that and I go back to my PCP on 06/09 for the first month check up. I also did some research on the Bariatric Treatment Center and I don;t think they are a sure-shot. They are out of network and don't cover sh*t for free other than your sleep test. I decided to go to University Of Chicago for the surgery ( Dr. Parchand) I researched that he does 270 surgeries per year. Wow.... I pay them $125.00 and they set me up for everything there ... my sleep test, psych eval, dietician, ekg, blood work.. all the other requirments forCigna. I am going to pay the $125.00 deductible at the end of June and get set up for all that in the summer and fall months so when this 6 month diet is up I can submit to Cigna because everything else will be done. I made a personal goal to try and lose 5 lbs per months for 6 months which will be 30 lbs before surgery. Oh... I weighed myself at the doctors office and I am 346.5 so I am down 2 lbs (woah). I ate Red Lobsters today ( I am stuffed even right now) anf did some last minute Mothers Day Shopping with one of my girls. I am on geek mode. Oh yeah, I have been having a tad bit of hell on my job. Please pray for me if you are reading this. I keep meditating on this surgery and that is what keeps my sanity during some of the troubles. Sorry thhat the post is so long. Oh... I stepped into 2 stores that weren't plus-sized and just browsed (too soon I know) just wanted to take a peek. I love you all! Good Night and Peace. Holla at you on 05/26 after the labs.

Greetings,

Alrighty, so yesterday I thought I scheduled an appointment for my new PCP but it was actually for my new Gynie... I was a little upset with myself because I wrote the dates and the doctors backwards. My actual PCP appointment is on 05/12...... I was so pissed off at first because I want this physician based diet thingy for 6 months to start ASAP.... but hey... it's only a 7 day difference and to be honest with you I had the best experience at the new Gynie ( I know too much info) She told me that I definitely have PCOS (already knew that) and then gave me a supply of some mint chewable b/control pills for one year to have me regulated... told me that she has seen some great success with the WLS  and that the WLS would help me with my PCOS and that would help me have some babies when I' m ready (big smile) I am 25... I do want to have some hopefully in the next five years but that is way down the line. Oh... my blood pressure was slightly high :o(  That was a first for me, and I gained a whopping 8 pounds putting me at 348 lbs. I went to the mall afterwards and decided to pick up some jeans  and a few tops, went to Lane Bryant and was disgusted that I couldn't fit into a 26, I own one pair of jeans that are a 28 and I refuse to buy anymore... I went to Ashley Stewart and bought some jeans in a 26.. they have a little stretch to them. I was in the dressing room so depressed looking at my body and out of breath.... thinking to myself how this all will be a nightmare of the past once I have the surgery. I am so ready... I think about a little too much (maybe) but hell this is my body, my feelings, my life so if it dominates a few thoughts so f*cking be it, it's my health and a brighter future...my rebirth... Well I guess that is all for now... talk to you after te appointment with the PCP... Lets hope she is pro WLS ;O)..... take care yall....