Here is an article that Delores on my surgery date forum gave us to read:
REGAIN:
Part 1: (SETTING THE STAGE)
You dreamed this would be the last time you would need to lose
weight. Weight loss surgery was the answer to your weight loss
failures of the past. You were doing so well. Weight seemed to fly
off so to speak in the beginning, almost effortless. No matter
what you did you couldn't possibly take in enough to not lose weight.
For many this was the first time in your life you didn't experience
physical hunger. You felt full on so little. You were limited in
the variety of foods you could have. Sugar, fats or large portions
made you sick. If you didn't chew well enough, or slow down to eat or
if you drank with our food you got sick. Dumping syndrome, although
not an intentional part of weight loss surgery works as a strong
behavior modifier. Who wants to experience nausea, vomiting,
sweating, chest pain, palpitations, diarrhea, fatigue, and lethargy
and have to lie down for one cookie? But over time your motivation
wore off. Fast forward a year or two, you heard the window slam
shut, the golden period tarnish and well quite frankly the honeymoon
is over. This is normal & expected but you still are surprised &
horrified! Denial works for a while but after the ` 10-20 pound
bounce back weight' hits you decide you can no longer live in
denial. Your clothes don't fit and you are scared to death. Many
think their pouches have stretched. In reality it could possibly
be a mechanical problem, but most likely it is the honeymoon period
ending. You are then faced with the questions, "Did I use my time
wisely?" & "Did I make the lifestyle changes needed to be successful
long-term"? If you answered yes to both of these questions then
congratulations & do not read any further. But if you can't answer
yes to these questions and you find yourself OFF-TRACK, keep
reading!
You remember hearing about it months ago, bariatric professionals
educate regarding its existence & significance; it has many names, `Window of opportunity' , `Golden period' & `Honeymoon phase'.
Did you really believe, understand and utilize it? Or did you think
that weight loss surgery was magic and you were invincible? The
first 12-24 months after weight loss surgery is a time of change,
growth and rebirth for many. It is the beginning of a wonderful
journey. It affords us to experience life unchained by Morbid
Obesity and all its limits & complications. You have heard this
mantra before a thousand times, weight loss surgery is only a tool
and they operate on your stomach not your brain! What you
sometimes forget is it isn't the end of your food issues.
You are not alone! Do not allow yourself to be alone! It is in
isolation that you continue to struggle and stay off-track. Your
surgery hasn't failed; you are just not using your tool to its
potential that is all. It is there still; you need to get back to
basics though. And yes this means you now have to work harder than
the tool! Remember it isn't the surgery alone that makes us lose
weight it is the lifelong lifestyle & behavioral changes you make
that enable us to lose weight and keep it off. It is the tool that
gives us the opportunity to make these changes. It levels the
playing field for weight loss and maintenance with those who are
not Morbidly Obese! In this delicate time many things happen: dumping
may decrease or stop, you are able to eat a larger variety of
foods, you can eat larger quantities of food, you get over the newness of
surgery and may let some habits slide, the malabsorbtion may
decrease as the body tries to normalize! Basically life happens.
PART 2: (Points to ponder, consider, reflect on....MY OPINION &
VIEWS....)
Why is it that the things we KNEW DIDN'T WORK, TRIED AND FAILED US AYWAYS pre WLS after WLS we consider trying again? *As if they will magically work now because we have less gut to absorb or a tinier tummy?
QUICK FIXES, `MAGIC' PILLS, FAD DIETS.....They didn't work pre-wls and they don't work post WLS, we know it but that nasty old defense called denial ropes us in to beat ourselves up over and over
trying yet again, this time maybe. We stay stuck in our shame and remain victims. We know surgery helps control the quantity of food consumed; most of us are still plagued by the same eating demons that caused us to gain weight in the first place. But why is it now we believe that having WLS makes us immune to those issues? Surely the magic of
the honeymoon cannot be all that powerful can it?
Why do many of us still believe the falsity that thin=happy or
thin/wt loss=resolution of all issues? Do we still need to have
the hope that being thin will take away all our ills so therefore when
we get thinner and it doesn't happen we subconsciously sabotage
ourselves so we can revive that false belief and have hope once
again, after all one thing we do have control over is whether we
diet or not! Even if we can not control anything else in our lives
such as occupation, relational stressors
We have read the studies pre and postop such as; In one study, 80%
of patients reported that they regularly felt a loss of control
over eating just six months after surgery. Several studies show that
beginning two years after surgery, many patients begin to regain
at least some of their weight. Why did we think this wouldn't be us,
that we'd be different? How does our shame at being one of those
keep us stuck here in the past and hoping about the future only to
allow our present to slip by and our life and chances to change.
Why is it that we cannot see the destructive patterns? Or why is
we we'd rather focus on a magic and quick cure such as a surgical
redo or another diet or another pill when it is clear if we only choose
to look and accept it that our lifestyle is what needs to change...
*usually* I am talking about things like:
· NOT exercising the way we did, or ever, or making this a
part of our LIFESTYLE consistently... .
· Drinking caloried beverages, the lattés the coffees sweetened with cream and even sugar at times.
· Skipping out on plain old water they way we used to drink it
or if we didn't ever incorporate it....
· GRAZING, eating when not hungry but simply because we can,
small nibbles, taste, licks, bites here and there....
· Nighttime binges, endless noshing on food that is not driven
by physical hunger but out of emotional causes, deprivation
because we dieted all day, or neglected our needs nutritionally, eating to
fill up what is missing in our lives.
· Drinking with food, starting with a sip here and there and
now full gulps and cups with food, why is it we wonder we don't
get full or can eat a lot more than we used to?
· Neglecting ourselves to take care of everyone and everything
but ourselves, seeing ourselves as not needing or worthy of care,
remaining in the victim role actually selfish because we are
helping others our of our need not theirs.
· Deciding that today I cannot do it (diet, exercise or
whatever) perfectly so I will restart tomorrow, next Monday or
next month. Falling into the old negative self-talk tapes that kept us
chained to our old disease Morbid Obesity.
Why do we all want to have the emotional bypass? Simply because we
do not want to feel the pain, that is why denial is used, that is
why the hope of a magic diet or pill is thought of, anything to
deny the truth, the reality or the Here AND NOW yes we can be present in the now and still be in pain and still move forward.
It is hard work but looking at the issues and wanting to deal with
them is the first step! Be proud of yourself for that and you can
do it. What purpose is food serving for you? Do you need to hold on
to old unhealthy habits of numbing your emotions with food or can you
develop new, healthier habits to deal with stress? Today is a
great time to start, not to change everything but to change one thing.
Stop the excuses! If you wait you may have another 20 pounds to
work on. Holidays and parties are always going to happen, you can
always find an excuse to wait or a reason why you can't. Its difficult
but search within yourself and find a reason why you can and do it.
Remember why you started this journey and what you told yourself
not so long ago! The power of positive thinking is yours! Think
progress not perfection! You are worth it!
Perfection redefined is who we are today at this moment so we can
break free from the toxic shame and victim roles to truly heal
ourselves from the inside out!
Why can we not just start with reality, writing what we are eating
in black and white, I bet because then the truth is we need to
change. Why do we avoid journaling our emotions? Meditating and
getting centered? I bet because we fear the pain we may be
avoiding, but in avoidance comes more pain it just shows outwardly. It
easier sometimes to have the hope that we can control our diet and in so
will control the emotions/relationsh ips we struggle with.
Life is one lesson and opportunity after another, until we learn
one lesson we will have it show up over and over in our lives. I think
it may be time to learn the lesson that life is hard, food is easy
and that we have little control. I think it is time to give up the
fairytale ending "happily ever after'. Life is about perception,
denial keeps us from reality, denial keeps us from change, it
keeps us from growth, it keeps us from happiness and joy and peace and prosperity.
***I do want to note there are broken surgeries or wrong surgeries
performed, but typically it is not using the tool or defeating the
tool or our emotional issues that are the factor to consider. But
first I ask we be honest with ourselves, take a look at our
lifestyle, see where it may of changed from 1 yr out, see are we
still exercising to the capacity we used to, are we still eating
the minimal calories we once used to, are we still adhering as
strictly to the pouch rules as we used to? OR are we perhaps cheating a
little here and there and stuffing our emotions. Are we perhaps
ashamed to go to our support groups, surgeons or health care
providers to weigh in on the scale for a reality check and ask for
support.
I know I eat more than the 1,000 calories a day I used to, I know
I exercise less than the compulsive 10 hr a week I used to, I know I
am not as rigid with my Pouch rules as I once was it is little
wonder then that I have regained weight? IS it the tools fault?
No, is it my fault? Well I am not here to judge others or myself
anymore; that simply isn't helpful. I am here to be accountable
and responsible to myself. I am here to make choices about my
lifestyle; I am here to address my emotional issues from childhood that may no longer serve me well as denial no longer serves me well. I can see they were powerful defenses I needed once but I need no more. I am freeing myself of the bondage that the need to control requires me
to be bound by and am working on living HERE AND NOW and
redefining myself as perfect today as I am. I am choosing to let go, trust,
have faith in a power greater than myself, I am where I need to be
at this moment. No emotion is too much for me to handle now. I am
enough; I am more than a number on the scale.
We all know what to do, it means changing our lifestyle now and
forever, it means one minute at a time, it means change, it means
pain, it means challenges. It also means hope and abundance and
prosperity if we choose it and happiness along the way! Together
we can do it because we are all perfect right now. Another surgery
may give us a 2nd honeymoon but in a years time we'd be right where we are today I believe with the same lesson to learn. Off my
soapbox........................Take a look inside, be still, and quiet what do you hear? What are you truly hungry for? I bet it isn't food! Address
this hunger and many things will be clear
POUCH RULES FOR DUMMIES LINK
http://www.gastricbypassfamily.com/PouchRules.html
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