Blueberry81

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So its been a crazy year 2 wls and possibly 2 more surgeries by the end of the year.

Im thankful for my tool. Im down 130lbs I'm off the drs goal by 10lbs but its ok.... i will lose it and more in time.  Considering I can't exercise and barely walk more than 10 mins at a time due to dizziness and tripping I'm happy with my loss.

Anyway check out my uploaded pics i can't believe the change.. ......

I don't know where to start except to say if you've had no complications or minor ones cherish it. Enjoy life!

Life will never be the same for me is my outlook.  The pain i feel constantly is beyond what i can tolerate. Its painful to swallow and digest food. I have ulcers. On a good day i eat max 500 calories a day. I fall up the stairs, dizzy constantly, trip over my own feet and slip off the couch at times. Nurse is recommending a NG or J tube as I'm low on nutrition due to vomiting and diarrhea. 

I've had many low moments but today is the worst. I was sitting in line at costco's gas station.  My stomach started to hurt and the gurgling started i had to come out of the line. I couldn't make it to the washroom i found a hole in a fence that had houses and i dropped my pants and let go the worse yellow diarrhea i have seen in my life. 

Im sad crying scared i don't know how i can keep living like this. No im not suicidal im just not happy. I see my surgeon tomorrow for another egd.

So when you eat and drink enjoy for me....

So I've not posted in a while. Its 3:15am and I'm struggling with insomnia, nausea and pain when i eat or drink.  Dr said I've got ulcers. And another thinks i have diverticulitis as i have painful bms.

I am back to work 20 hrs a week but the struggle to get up everyday is so real. If i go out with my kids or to an event it takes over 24 hrs to recover. Its so frustrating i just want my old life back. I use to be able to go out friday night do mom stuff Saturday then go out the night and be able to be on time for church sunday. Now if i do a load of laundry and make it in the shower that's it.

I'm not going to lie i see people who had surgery and no complications and I'm jealous. I know i shouldn't be but i was so much happier and full of life 118lbs ago...

Now my life is full of pills and dr visits. Waiting for the next set of bad news. Current lab results say the patient results are of one with either liver,  kidney or malnutrition along with anemia. Urine is showing some kind of blood loss. And the list goes on... 

Totally having buyers remorse over my vsg and rny..  

#life

Feeling down and just crying. My youngest daughter was sick and home 4 days with me. Now I'm not feeling great at all. Went to my 6 months follow up and the nurse seemed a bit shocked that I've only lost 98lbs I'm a slow loser.

My mood is shitty. I've had a migraine for days and my whole body has been hurting since my revision. They are referring me to a psychiatrist since I'm in counselling but severely in a funk. 

I think its the fact its so dark so early and it feels like -11 in Toronto. 

So i had my revision surgery on September 13th and i have 1 open incision on and off fever. I been saying to my Dr that i feel unwell.

My back, hip actually my whole body aches like i have a flu but i don't.  Now my sciatic nerve is acting up i even had to start walking with my cane and taking meds as the pain is so bad. I can't even take care of myself or my kids.  

Has anyone experienced their sciatic nerve acting up after surgery? 

So its been a rough week. 3 incisions opened up on my birthday sept 23rd.  They are painful and oozing but no one seems to care. 

Tried puree this week but it has me nauseous and throwing up.   I don't think WLS is for me.  Only dropped 8lbs or so since surgery.  Can't get my fluids in.

Well thats all for now. Too tired to do anything or even type. I know it will get better it has to.

Happy Friday!

So surgery was 9/13/17 due to nausea and vomiting i was released 9/16/17.

I've been home alone struggling to get my protein in as this nausea is horrible.  But I'm happy to report i barely feel the GERD. I forgot what normal felt like. 

I didn't sleep well lastnight. I rolled from my side to my belly which jolted me out of bed like a bad nightmare. 

My strategy tonight is to wedge myself so that i can't roll.

My uvula was injured by the throat tube so i can barely swallow or speak which is hilarious as i just make mumbling noises to get my point across with as little words as possible. My oldest daughter is getting away with murder as she calls and askes me for stuff and interprets everything as yes.  

But i survived surgery #2 and I'm so happy for all my online support.  Every minute is a challenge but i know i will succeed and be successful. 

So in 10 hrs i should be on the operation table fast asleep having my VSG revised to RNY.

I have never been this anxious in my life.  So anxious i woke up with heart palpitations.  I just want to feel normal again.  Be able to live without GERD. No meditations. To be able to lay down in an position. To be able to bend and tie my shoe or puck up something off the floor without this burning.

Who knew that doing something to prolong my life would give me 4 months and 1 week of pure hell and agony.   I hope this is the fix....

Now if i could just settle and sleep easy for 6 hrs that'd be lovely...

See you all on the revised side...

So my revision is in 2 days and I'm HUNGRY... like HUNGRY my stomach is growling and i got those hunger pains....

The 2nd time around is so much harder than the first time.  I clearly haven't reached ketosis as i shouldn't be this hungry. ....

I honestly don't remember being this hungry the first time around and i was on the pre op diet for 3 weeks then...  

I would do anything for pureed chicken lol... never thought I'd ever say that.. ..

Oh well in 48 hrs my revision will be completed and i will hopefully be sipping on a medicine cup of broth....

So i saw the nurse and i have lost 45 lbs since my surgery its been exactly 4 months so thats like average 11lbs a month.

I was so defeated for a moment as she said my weight loss is on the low side.... but she wouldn't comment on how much the average is...

Considering all my complications and hospital visits and staya being pumped up with fluids and calories i didn't think i did as bad as she made it seem. I do wish i was at 60lbs lost by now but it will go.....

Is there an average of monthly weight loss?