Feeling sad

Jun 30, 2016

Hi all. I am having a rough day and just need to vent. 

I have lost a little over 200 pounds from my highest weight about a year ago, and about 80 pounds since surgery in January. I am happy with the results, but I am still at 240lbs. I was hoping to get down to 180 or even 200, but at this point it feels like its never going to happen. 

Did I start too high to get down to that weight? I have not lost for awhile, and sometimes when I weigh myself, I have gained! I eat an average of 800 calories a day, never more than 30 grams of carbs, and get all of my protein in. I am losing hair, but not losing weight. I am not going to lie, it is incredibly frustrating and disheartening. 

What is wrong with me :( Why have I stopped losing? I have not changed what I have been doing, but it seems what use to work no longer does. I am lost :(

6 comments

So Frustrated

Feb 16, 2016

I am so sad and frustrated right now. I am 3 days short of my 1 month date and I have only lost 20 pounds. Now I know that some people would chastise me for saying "only 20 pounds" but that is how I feel. Prior to surgery I had started eating healthy, and since July of 2015 I was on a strict protein and veggies only diet. I had grown accustom to it, and I was fine with it. I lost 125 pounds in 6 months, with still eating food, healthy food, but it was food. Now I am eating mush, riddled with constipation and tail bone pain, tired all the time, and feeling like a freak of nature because unlike most of the world I cannot go out to eat with my husband, or grab a lunch with friends. I paid someone to rip my stomach from my body, take 2 weeks of miserable time off work, endure days of dry heaving and pain, and for what? To lose just as much as I had been before surgery? 

Everyday I see people who had surgery the same day as me, or even after me, and they have lost more than me. What am I doing wrong? I am weighing all of my "meals" if you can call them that. I eat no more than 6 ounces of mush a day, with 2 protein shakes, and 72 ounces of water. I take my vitamins, I walk, I sleep 8 hours a night. I am doing everything right, so what is wrong with me? Everyone says its a stall, it will pass, and then one day you will wake up and you will have lost a bunch over night. Well today my stall broke, and i lost 1 pound. 1 pound. Where is my big post-stall loss? 

I am filled with so much regret. Right now I could be eating normal, exercising without getting tired, doing fun things with my family, going out to valentines dinner with my husband, not being questioned daily by coworkers about how i am doing. I could just be normal, and I gave that up. For what? For the medical bills that are piling up from surgery? 

I am hoping this is just a phase, and that it passes, because right now I feel like an idiot and I feel like I ruined my life

4 comments

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