Tarra,
I know how you feel. The realization of being obese can be devastating. I already knew I was over weight, but after my son was born I started see myself in a whole new light. I always tried to joke my way out of the feeling. Like saying the shadow of my butt weighed 50 lbs. just my way of coping. I cant do that anymore the reality of pain has set in.I wake up in the mornings and the first thing I have to do, once I actually am able to move, is take somas to stop the pain. It is something I never thought I would do. For years I lived with the pain. I never wanted to take narcotics because of my children. I didn't want to feel loopy. Now I have no choice but to take them. I know very soon this will not be an issue. I am having surgery on November 19th. I'm looking forward to my rebirth which is what it is. I can't wait to get rid of the drugs. Just take heart that your not alone and If you need someont to talk with I'm here. Good luck and god bless.