Kathryn S.

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Kathryn S. 21 years, 8 months ago

This is to all of you who are waiting to have surgery, without or without a confirmed date, and those of you who have followed my recovery. I feel priveleged to be an example of what wonderful things can happen when you have a life changing event happen, like weight loss surgery. God is so good to me. The first 6 months I dropped 75 pounds and went from a size 26 pants to a size 14-16. Within 2 weeks I was no longer taking medication for hypertension, and tried one time, a week after the surgery, to take the medication for diabetes, only to have my blood sugar drop too low. I went from an uncontrollable blood sugar to a mean of 132 within 3 weeks, and after a month that dropped into the 90's. I no longer sleep with the CPAP machine. My children say I no longer snore, and I use to take the wallpaper off the walls with the noise. I have had some issues I have needed to deal with. They are of a personal nature, but I don't mind sharing some of it, and especially if it will help anyone else who may be going through the changes. The biggie was/is ANGER. I find that as my body changes, and I become more attractive to the opposite sex, I resent the attention of a male population that wouldn't have given me any serious consideration when I was 269 pounds and a size 26. In reality, I know that men are "visual", and I should be more forgiving, but these feelings that I have been experiencing have thrown me a curve, so to speak, and I haven't been ready to deal with myself in this arena. Frankly I'm frightened. I am not sure how to deal with the attention without looking or acting like a 13 year old teenager noticing boys for the first time. Now I was attractive when I was 269#'s, and I knew it. But this is a whole different ball game.Everyday is a new challenge. I am learning to let others "look" at me without feeling resentment, and I am learning to say "thank you" when I get a compliment on how good I look. Which leads to another issue. Sometimes when I look into the mirror I can see the weight loss. Other times, I can't really see it. The first dozen times I put on a pair of size 16 jeans, I would look at the opening and think, "I'll never fit my big butt into these". But my big butt did fit, and every single time I was amazed! It took me weeks to clean out my closet and get rid of clothes that I could no longer wear. I mourned the loss of my sweaters, and nice dress clothes. This morning I finally got rid of the last of my plus size dress pants, even though I haven't worn them for a year. I think the visual part of not always being able to see the weight loss is something that is ingrained physically into my brain. Sort of like how an anorexic person sees herself as fat, when really she looks like a war refugee. Or even how someone who has lost a limb can still feel the pain, even though it is phantom pain. I don't know if that will ever go away. My friends and co-workers watch me closely for signs of impending physical illness from the surgery. (I work in a hospital). And occasionally I am asked if I am sorry I had the surgery. I can unequivically say "I WOULD DO IT AGAIN TOMORROW"!!! I lost a lot of hair (which is growing back in) and I am learning (still) how to eat. I find myself wanting bigger portions than I can handle because I am afraid of not getting enough to eat. A carry-over from childhood. When I do overeat I pay the price. It's not pleasant to vomit when you have taken in too much volume, but vomit you must, because it is too painful otherwise. I am disappointed and sometimes fearful because I have been on a plateau for 5 or 6 months now. I haven't lost anymore, but I haven't gained either. My surgery peers tell me to persevere, that I will get beyond the plateau and begin to lose again. I think that may be starting to happen now, and am anxious to see another 10 pounds come off. I need to lose a total of 50 more pounds, and then I will feel like I have reached goal weight. I am so thankful for the support of everyone who has been there for me, including those of you I don't know, but who cheer or whisper a prayer of thanks when my name comes across their path. Like on this website. So friends,& dear ones, known and unknown, I don't know what else I could say that would be any more truthful than what I have posted here. I hope this will give courage, insight and hope to anyone who reads it. As my grandma always says to me, "the best is yet to be". And I never knew her to be wrong. Kathy

Becca K. 21 years, 8 months ago

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! How are you doing on this leg of your weight loss? Can you stop in and update us on how you are doing? Thank you and have a nice day!

Michael A. T. 22 years, 8 months ago

Kathryn is going to spend one more night at Prov, but is doing well and should go home in the morning.

Vickie C. 22 years, 8 months ago

Kathryn, Congratulations on your surgery! I am glad everything went great and I wish you good luck and good health with your recovery. You will soon be enjoying your new life! A WLS friend,

Michael A. T. 22 years, 8 months ago

Kathryn's surgery went well on Thursday. She is resting at Providence Hospital, and should go home tomorrow. Thank you Lord for her doing so well.

AngelNTx65 22 years, 8 months ago

Kathryn~I wish you the best with your surgery tomorrow.It's so exciting to be on this journey to better health! Keep us posted. God Bless~Kim

blank first name B. 22 years, 8 months ago

Good luck on your surgery, know that you will be in my prayers, I cant wait to see you on the other side. Your WLS friend. Deborah Worlton

lissapayne 22 years, 8 months ago

Hello...I just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world on your surgery. I will praying that you have a safe and speedy recovery. I had surgery on May 15th and It is such a wonderful thing and has changed my life! If I can help you in any way or you just wanna talk, Please email me and I'll be glad to talk to you*HUGS*

tonitreadway 22 years, 8 months ago

Best wishes to you for a complication-free procedure, a speedy recovery, successful weightloss and life long good health and happiness!! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kathryn S. 22 years, 9 months ago

I have had my surgery date confirmed now for a few weeks, and am finding it hard to WAIT. I'll be leaving on vacation the end of this month and then it is only a few days away when I get home. I have been so thankful to have gotten hooked up with such a wonderful support system. Even though I don't know anybody outside of a few people, I still am consciencious of the tight group of folks that you are. I feel priveleged to be a part of this. I check in on the message board every night before going to bed. It has almost become a ritual. So, to all of you out there who, like me, are waiting,it won't be long; and to those who have begun the "great descent" down the scale, I am joyful for your progress, and am prayerful for your sucess. Kathy