Going Through Changes

Jul 02, 2010

Yes, I am continuing to work on myself.  Working on this lazy streak of mine, and things are coming along.  I have taken on another position at work, that starts on Monday.  So I will be working a 40 hour work week.  Leave the house at 9:45, and not getting home until about 6:30.  It isn't going to be easy for me.  I have never been one that enjoys 40 hour work weeks...but I know it is for the betterment of myself, and my family and my financial situation.  I also had an interview with a potential new client moving into my home.  She is a sweet young lady...going to be attending college, and being away from home for the first time.  Her parents want to meet Bill before making a decision...and that is certainly understandable...I wouldn't have a daughter of mine, moving in without first meeting ALL the people she will be living with.  I do feel some apprehention with this tho...Bill does not look the part of an understanding, helpful, God loving man...He looks "intimidating".  At least that is what both of my boys said the first time they met him.  I am hoping that these people will not judge him on how he looks, but take some time to sit and chat with him, and see that he is kind, and honest, and wise.  Either way...it is in God's hands, not mine...so i am not going to fret about it too much.
I started reading the bible.  For some reason, this time around...It seems to be making some sense to me...All the times in the past that I have tried to read it...I wasn't understanding any of it.  I am still having some difficulties with trying to figure out of there is a hidden message...because they say, it is how you interpet it...but I am just reading it in its literal form and just trying to absorb it that way.  I didn't start at the beginning....but I don't think it really matters where you start...as long as you start.  I loved reading Proverbs...and know that I will spend a lot of time, going over and over that one.  The last verse really stuck with me.  Proverbs 31:10  If you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems!  Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs.  She will not hinder him, but help him all her life.  She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.  She buys imported foods, brought by ship from distant ports.  She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household, and plans the day's work for her servant girls.  She goes out to inspect a field, and buys it; with her own hands she plants a vineyard.  She is energetic, a hard worker, and watches for bargains.  She works far into the night!
She sews for the poor and generously gives to the needy.  She has no fear of winter for her household, for she has made warm clothes for all of them. 
She also upholsters with finest tapestry; her own clothing is beautifully made-a purple gown of pure linen.  Her husband is well known, for he sits in the council chamber with the other civic leaders. 
She makes belted linen garments to sell to the merchants.
She is a woman of strength and dignity, and has no fear of old age.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and the kindness is the rule for everything she says.
She watches carefully all that goes on throughout her household, and is never lazy.  Her children stand and bless her; so does her husband.  he praises her with these words:  There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all!
Charm can be deceptive and beauty doesn't last, but a woman who fears and reverences God shall be greatly praised. 
Praise her for the many fine things she does.  These good deeds of hers shall bring her honor and recognition from even the leaders of the nations.
Of course, in todays world, we don't do, or need to do all that is said here...and goodness help my family if I tried to sew for them.  But I can contribute much more than I do.  On the other hand, much of this is me.  I do think before I speak, and always try to speak with kindness.  I give to the needy when I can..and I am one of the best bargin hunters I know...So, working on my laziness is my biggest challenge right now
I have come to the realization that lists are my friends...and although I have yet to get good at making lists...at least it is in my thoughts.  And I do have a book to write them down.
Today my list consists of organizing my back door closet, getting my bedside hanger tidied up and starting on the laundry room, which is also my closet...Laundry is on one side, my closet on the other...yep, it is a pretty big room...so I expect that to take a while...but I know how good I will feel when it is done.  I wish I could afford to go buy some organizers, but I can't, so I will just have to manage with what I have.
I have also been reading, The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent.  This book is wonderful, and even explains exersizes on how to make it work.  At first when I was reading it...I wasn't so sure, but when it got to doing some of the exersizes in it...I saw it working, almost immediately.  We really do live "The life we BELIEVE we deserve!"  If we believe that we are worthy of great things...Great things will come to us.  if we believe we are NOT, they wont!  This works in EVERY aspect of our lives.  If we BELIEVE we are not meant to find true love, then we wont.  If we BELIEVE we will never live life as a thin person, we never will.  If we BELIEVE we will never have enough...money, joy, happiness, love...we wont.  On the other hand, if we BELIEVE  we are meant to live rich, full, satisfying lives, we will.  And one can not fool ones self into thinking that "just thinking" these thoughts, they will come to us...You must really believe it...and feel it in your heart...You must KNOW you are deserving of all these wonderful things.  If you say to yourself...I deserve to be thin, and live my life to the fullest...but you have that knawing gut feeling that says you don't...then you need to work on changing that knawing gut feeling...and The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent, will show you how.
We are all a work in progress...none of us are perfect...but we can work on becoming close...at least close to how we truely want to be seen in this world...how we want our love ones to see us...and how we want to be seen in God's eyes...and how we see ourselves, because, truely...No person knows the true us, like we know ourselves.  We know our deepest darkest thoughts.  We know our deepest darkest secrets...We know who we want to be, and know better than anyone, what lies within us.  God knows too.  So, even when we think that know one will know what sins we commit...God does know!  We are never alone...Things are never really private...For he knows all that we do, and all that we think.  For that reason alone, work on thinking "good" thoughts, and doing "The right thing, EVERY TIME!"

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