My journey

Jan 14, 2011

I've been battling obesity for the better part of my life. The final straw was after I had my hysterectomy in 03. Since that time, I have gained approximately 50 lbs. And I can't get it off!!! The harder I try, the more I gain. I see this surgery as saving my life! I've done most of the homework, as I have been researching gastric bypass for almost a year.

1/7/05: Earlier this week, I called Univ. of PA to schedule an appt for a consult. They gave me a date of 4/13/05. I was a little disheartened, but that date was closer than most folks get. A gentleman by the name of Derek, told me to call him back that afternoon, and he would see if he could get me a closer appt. Well, I called this morning, and GUESS WHAT???? They gave me a new appt for 1/26/05!!!! Can you believe that? I was in absolute shock!!! I'm so excited.

1/24/05: Well, I now have an appt with Dr. Meliahan at Temple. I heard some things about Dr. Williams that made me cringe. So, I now have an appt at Temple on 2/4/05. I see my primary this evening, and I'm certain that I will get his blessing. We shall see. I just finished reading Carnie Wilson's Gut Feelings, and I'm now working on her next book, 'I'm still hungry'. I actually started to have reservations about having the surgery, but I think I'm back on track now. I think a lot of that is because I haven't signed on to this site for a while, so I've been somewhat isolated. This is a huge, huge decision, and I really hope and pray that I've made the right one. Maybe this is normal, I don't really know. Well, I'll keep you all updated on my progress.

1/24/05: I had my appt with my PCP, and he isn't as excited about my decision as I am. But nonetheless, he gave me his blessing anyway. With a great deal of hesitation. He said that he thought it was a very drastic step. I told him that I had done my homework, and that I knew that it was drastic, but that I was ready to make a change. So, my referral is a done deal, and he will be writing the letter to Dr. Meliahan. Here we go.

2/8/05: Well, I had my consult with Dr. Meilahn. What a wonderful man!! He hit it off instantly. He asked me what did I know about WLS. Since I have been researching this forever, I was able to pretty much tell him everything that he was supposed to be telling me. And of course, he asked me if I smoked. Unfortunately, I do. And I told him that I had heard (on this website) that he doesn't operate on smokers. He told me that information was correct. And then he proceeded to tell me why. He once had patient that smoked, and things did not go well at all. He ended up having to do a tracheotomy on this patient. So we talked for quite some time, and he agreed to take me on as a patient. So, I have something new to work on. I'm excited, and scared. It's real now!!! Some may think it's strange when I say that 'he agreed to take me as a patient'. Before he came into my exam room, he said he was seeing a patient that he had to ask to leave. He didn't go into great detail, for privacy reasons, but he did tell me that he can pretty much size a person up within 2 minutes of meeting them, and he decided that this person just wouldn't be a good patient for him. I appreciated his honesty. I think that it's just as important for a doctor to feel confident about his patients, as it is for patients to feel confident in their doctor. So, I'm on my way.

2/14/05: The most amazing thing happened over the weekend. I've really been stressing over this $600 program fee that I have to pay. Talk about a blessing!! I have a friend that I talk with on a regular basis, but I really don't see her much. She came to my house on Saturday, and gave me a check for the full amount. I was absolutely blown away!! She said that this was for my health, and that was more important to her than anything. I was in tears. So, I'll send in the check, and I'll be on my way. I can't believe that everything is coming together like this. It's like someone is leading the way. God is the driving force in my life, and I know now, more than ever, that that is the most important thing.

2/19/05: I am such a mess. I got the cashier's check today, to send to the surgeon, and I haven't done it yet. I just keep thinking, what if it isn't the right thing to do? What if something happens? Maybe I can lose weight on my own. I'm an absolute wreck. I guess because it's real now. Before, it was just a dream. I got my wellbutrin today. I'm supposed to start taking it Monday. That will help me to quit smoking. I'm feeling so many different things right now, I just don't know which end is up.

2/21/05: Well....I mailed the check to the doc last night. I guess there's no turning back now!!! The other night, I sent out a post, with all of the things that I was feeling at the moment. One of the responses that I got back was "sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith". Those words meant so very, very much to me. I bought my new house in July of 02. I was born and raised in the burbs, but then I moved to the city. It was what I could afford at the time. After 20 years, I moved back to the burbs. When my realtor told me that the owner of my new house had accepted my offer, I was scared to death!! I called my mom, and she said to me "well Annette, sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith". It's because of those words, that I did move. It's been real tough, financially, but I love being closer to my family. So me having this surgery, is a leap of faith. I said in one of my earlier posts, that God was in control of my life. I guess I needed to be reminded of that, and I need to put my money where my mouth is. LOL. I'm inspired. But more importantly, I'm taking 'a leap of faith'.

5/16/05: It's been quite some time since I posted, and so very, very much has happened. Well, I got all of my bloodwork done, as well as my sleep study. Oddly enough, Dr. Meilahn didn't require that I get an EKG, stress test, etc. I was so close to the end of the testing. And then, on 5/3, I got some pretty upsetting news. The last of my testing was the pulmonary tests. I hit a huge snag, and I do mean huge. The pulmonologist clear me for surgery.
It seems that I have some sort of lung disease. My total lung capacity is much lower than the
average person's. My diffusion rate is at 33%, and a normal person's diffusion rate is 100%.
As a result, a tremendous strain has been put on my heart, because it has to work so much
harder to help my lungs. The good news is that it's not emphysema. The bad news is that they
aren't certain what it is. If they can't correct it, not only will I not be able to have the surgery, but
I won't be able to work either. I would be permanently disabled.
Things are pretty bad, and it's a potentially life threatening situation. They have me on theophylline,
as well as adivan. Apparently, stress makes the situation worse. Some days, I have such a hard time
breathing. It was actually so bad a few weeks ago, that my boyfriend had to take me to the ER. I didn't know
there was a real problem at that point. The pulmonary doc told me that God was really on my side,
because if I hadn't decided to have the surgery, I wouldn't have known just how serious this is, and
anything at all could have happened. So, I had an echocardiogram done last week, and today, I have a high resolution chest cat scan scheduled. On 5/20, I have to repeat my sleep study, and I'll be fitted for a bipap machine. Then, I go back to the pulmonologist on 5/31, and I'll find out what's wrong with me, and I'll have answers to all of my questions. I'm so sad that I can't have the surgery right now, but I have to find out what's wrong with me first, and get that treated before anything else.
I've been a wreck, and my darling boyfriend has been a total ass. Since I found this out on May 3, I've seen him about 3 times. He hasn't done much of anything to help me, since I found all of this out. I'm so disgusted with him right now, I can't even talk about it.
Well, I'll keep you all posted as my journey continues.

1/20/06:
It's been so very long since my past post. I didn't even realize how long it had been. Well, here goes.....
I went back to the pulmonologist at Temple, and come to find out, I do have emphysema.
However, the breathing problem that I was having is, in fact, stress induced. He asked me
to continue on the theophylline, because he thinks that it would really benefit me. Well,
that same day, I went up to see the Nurse practioner for Dr. Meilahn. She wanted to talk
to me, because some red flags came up during my psych eval. Apparently, they seem to
think that I have a drinking problem, and they want me to attend 4 consecutive AA meetings.
Interestingly enough, I have about 4-5 drinks a month. If they think that constitues a drinking
problem, then there are lots and lots of people in the world who need help. Next, they wanted me
to have 4 psychotherapy sessions. They were concerned about my depression, and they think it
needs to be treated with more than medication. Then, because I hadn't been insulted enough, they
made me sign a contract saying that I would do these things. I asked her if they made everyone sign
a contract, and she said no. I was floored!!!
Now, since I signed that contract, there have been all kinds of other things that have happened in my
life, and the surgery has taken a back seat. But I was thinking about it last night, and I feel like they
are being extremely judgemental, and I don't like that at all. So I may just take my test results, and go
see another surgeon. I wouldn't mind if the psychologist knew me well. then, she could have said
whatever she wanted, and I would have accepted that. But I didn't understand how I could talk to someone
that I had never met before, and they could make a judgement call like that. As far as I was concerned,
I think that's crap!!! I would have even accepted it if they made everyone sign a contract. And anyone that
knows me, knows that I don't take shit from anyone. The only reason that I took it that day, was because I
just found out that I had emphysema, and I was still pretty stunned from that. I guess I was in information
overload. So, I got over the initial shock, and I just became angry. Actually, I was pretty down about the whole situation, so for months and months, I did nothing. Well, I was talking to a friend of mine some months back, and she suggested that I go see the surgeon that she was seeing. Andre Castellanos. As a matter of fact, that next morning, she was checking in for surgery! I made an appointment. When I met this doctor, I just about fell in love with him! Now, I have another serious problem, which is abdominal adhesions from previous pelvic surgeries. Anyone who says that adhesions and scar tissue don't hurt, has no idea what they are talking about. My GYN told me that the only thing that would help me at this point, is surgery. So, Dr. Castellanos agreed to clean up the adhesions when I have my surgery. Well, I had to have another psych evaluation, and that went pretty well. Two weeks after that, I got a call from Dr. Castellanos, and he told me that he would like for me to have a full psychoanalysis. The only reason, is because of the tremendous amount of stress that I'm under. They didn't think that I have a drinking problem, nor do they think that I suffer from serious depression. Which is a good thing! I'm amazed that the evaluation that I received under Dr. Castellanos, was completely and totally different than the evaluation that I received under Dr. Meilahn. So I went and had another psych visit. It went so well, that I no longer take anti depressant meds, and the psych doc said that he saw no reason as to why I shouldn't have the surgery. I was fine!! What a relief that was to me, because I was really starting to doubt my own mental health, based on my first consultation. One of the things that I also need to do, is to have my pulmonary testing possibly repeated. Dr. C received all of my records from Dr. Meilahn, and because of the problems noted, they want me to meet with a pulmonologist at Hahnemann Hospital. The doc wants someone there to have first hand knowledge of my case, in the event that some special anesthesia will be needed. So, that's where I am. I'm so close, and yet so far. Believe it or not, my only concern is whether or not my insurance will approve me for the surgery. What I would really like to happen is for the doc to place my abdominal ahdesions as the primary reason, and the gastric bypass as secondary.
Well, I sent a bit of a nastygram to Dr. Meilhan, just explaining to him that I was not unhappy with him, but I was unhappy with the demeaning manner in which is P.A. spoke to me. It's so sad, because I do really like Dr. Meilahn, but I certainly don't want to seek the services of a surgeon, and I can't stand his staff.
So, I think I'm up to date on what's been going on. More than anything else, I'm really looking forward to not having to take Vicodin every day, for pain, as well as not being in pain.
I'll try to make a concerted effort to update my profile on more of a regular basis.

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