30 pounds

Nov 19, 2011

I talked to the surgeons nurse practitioner yesterday on the phone.  The call was about the results of my blood work from my one year check up. 

I don't know how it came up, but I was asking about what my 'goal' weight should be.  I don't think we ever established that.  She said that technically, at 5 foot 2 inches, my weight should be 110.   But at 110, i would look like a skeleton.  I asked what would be a reasonable goal and she said that if i can make it to 150, that would be great.

30 pounds.  It sounds like nothing and the weight of the whole world all at once.   I know its going to be a lot harder to take off.  Its going to mean some pretty dedicated work. 

1.  I'm 12 months post op, so weight comes off slower as it is.
2.  I'm going to start taking psych meds again, which often have a side effect of weight gain.
3.  I'm going to be busting my ass in group therapy and one on one therapist visits.

The feedback i'm getting from some friends is that they think i've been in a hypomanic state, verging on full blown manic, for most of this year.  So if the previous weight loss was during hypomania/mania... i wonder what its going to be like when I'm in a depressive state, or even level state.

Its good that I'm on disability (for bipolar) because I'm really going to need this time to get stuff in order again.  I've been freaking out about what I'm going to do in the future... but I MUST put that aside and make it through each day as they come.  I have to get a couple days/weeks/months under my belt of existing and being okay... then start thinking where to go next. 

I guess what I am saying is that I need to live in the moment. 

--Becca

0 Comments