Who to tell? What to say?

Jun 28, 2016

Over the weekend I went to the cabin in Wisconsin with Susan, Amira, and Mary ... all of them fit women who have no eating disorders that I have ever been aware of. And since they are three of my best friends, I felt like it was time to tell them about this new episode in my life. (Susan already knew about it, though, quite awhile ago. We spend too much time and too many meals together for her not to know!) M and A were, of course, supportive. I think my friends have been more worried about my health than I realized. I think they're going to be great allies. In fact, I think I will have a lot of allies. No one has said that they think this is a bad idea. And that's why I need to only tell people whom I trust beforehand: I only want people who can be positive.

I don't think of myself as a heavy, fat, unhealthy person. I am surprised when I look in the mirror. Who is that person looking back at me with three chins and no jaw line?  People who didn't know me "back then" probably just see me as a fat lady with gray hair. Like the coffee shop kids. They're all really young and don't think of "old" people as having had a life like theirs, back in the day.

My biggest reaon for the surgery really is for the the Type 2 diabetes I've had for about 17 years. Those sores I had on my leg all last summer and fall (and into the winter) really scared me. Even though my disease is now under fairly good control, it's only because I am on all kinds of medications, included insulin. It's not going to get better, though, and it can't be cured. I guess this is the closest thing to curing.

I hope that by the time it happens, I'll be able to really follow through. To live with the changes and accept them. And wouldn't it be nice to go on a trip and NOT have to bring along all my insulin pump equipment, my drugs, my insulin, etc.? It does mean I won't be able to try a lot of the interesting foods I find in other countries, and that makes me sad. But it doesn't mean that the trips will be any less interesting.

Reading over other people's stories of their journeys and what they go through at first is at times terrifying, yet also comforting. No one seems to be saying they wish they had never done it. The idea of walking without pain, sitting on a plane without a seatbelt extender, and of being able to tie my shoes without working up a sweat is positively giddifying. That's what I'm after. To live a normal life and to do things that I took for granted. Like walking up the stairs or even going down to the basement.

And it's not being able to do those things -- and my family and friends noticing it more and more even as I realize it myself -- that has persuaded  me to explore what it would be like to lose that weight and pursue a healthier lifestyle. It's an adventure I don't want to have by myself, so sharing it with the right people (and at the right time) seems like another step in wise preparation. Right?

 

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About Me
46.1
BMI
RNY
Surgery
11/16/2016
Surgery Date
Jun 08, 2016
Member Since

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