My first blog.

Dec 19, 2011

Well, I am officially one week post-op! It's very exciting, I never thought I'd actually get here. Seems like it took forever. I'm working on getting my OH profile all set-up and becoming an active member here. I've been a lurker for a few weeks now, but I think that being more involved will be really good for me because I don't have a super strong support system in the real world, hehe. I think it will be great to get advice, encouragement, and tips from people that are further ahead in their journey than I. And I hope that I can keep up my active-ness once school starts back and I'm not basically couch/bed bound.

The first week has been a bit of a rollercoaster. It was mostly good, I did have a bit of a breakdown yesterday. I just went in the bathroom and cried. I am mourning food. I am mourning not being able to take care of Rylie. While it's not so bad not having to change diapers all day (hehe) I have not gotten to spend any good quality time with her either and that sucks. I just remind myself that half of the reason I even went through with the surgery is to be able to do MORE with her and I am so looking forward to that. She won't even remember these 2 weeks I didn't get to. I have been really wanting some pizza-even dreamed about it one night!-And after an evening of trying to go out shopping (a bit of a fail) I came back to my mom's and she had ordered pizza. I broke down in tears. I feel so silly and stupid admitting that. But it is, indeed, true. I know these are only a few weeks of restrictions but it's tough. I feel like if I could handle it easily I wouldn't have needed surgery to begin with! I have cheated a little though but nothing major and I'm not beating myself up over it. This morning I weighed 279.

I have a problem with wanting everything NOW. I hate waiting so I'm really really anxious to just be skinny NOW that I've had surgery. I know it's unrealistic. I just get impatient at times :) 

Well that's all for now. Looking forward to blogging more!

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