crystalcandoit

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I lost 21 pounds in my first month post surgery.  I have lost 88 pounds total since I started the surgical weight loss program in July.  It is certainly not easy. Some days I have no problem getting my 60 grams of protien in and other days it is a real struggle.  I am trying to expand my protien menu because a girl needs variety.  My surgeon says that I can start adding veggies, but I am putting protein first!!  

My in-laws came to visit from Germany 2 weeks ago, so I have had the additional struggle of trying to explain what I can and can not eat and explaining why I can or can not eat that.  They do not think I eat enough and I will admit to them it is weird to see someone eating 2-3 ounces of food.  The visit also meant a lot of eating out at restaurants and while I tried a couple of times by having my daughter order a protien I could eat and taking a couple of bites. Most of the times, I ended up drinking water and eating when I got home. 

I love that I am never hungry right now.  I basically have to say it is 1:00 PM, I need to eat some thing for lunch. I have also learned that I need to listen to my self.  I have alredy had the I had one bite too many pain.  I now just throw away the one or two bites left when my body has that feeling that it has had enough.  

Constipation is a real thing!!  I am still trying to figure how to deal with this! My surgeon did not feel concerned about it.  I know that it is not dehydration because I am getting in my water.

One other thing I noticed is that I get tired much easier, but I am working through that too. 

So I met with the surgeon and I am on board with doing the RNY and Hiatal Hernia repair and we scheduled the new surgery for Feburary 6th.  The only requirement was getting cleared by cardiology again, because of the episode of atrial fibrillation that I experienced during the last attempted surgery.  I met with Cardiology last week and the cardiologist wanted a Thallium Stress test to make sure that my heart was sound for the longer more extensive syrgery that we have planned.  I had the Stress test on Thursday of last week, I felt fine during the test and went home feeling like I had jumped the last obstacle......NOT QUITE!!!  I received a call Thursday afternoon from the cardiologist and any one in healthcare knows..Good results, the nurse calls you...Bad results the provider calls you!!  The cardiologist tells me that I failed the stress test..the results stated that it was "a high risk study"  with a "large size area of severe ischemia on the inferior and apical walls"  The cardiologust says I am scheduling you for a Cardiac Cath and if we have to place stents then you will have to delay surgery for a while.  I spent the weekend thinking the worse and praying for the best.  Yesterday was the Cardiac Cath!  They went in through my wrist and I was awake for the whole procedure.  During the procedure the Interventional Cardiologist says,  "your arteries are totally open and you have no issues with perfusion.  I am clearing you for your surgery!"  I was sent home yesterday with a bandage on my wrist and weight lifted off my shoulders.   So today starts my week long liquid diet part 2 and I am looking forward to my RNY and Hernia repair next Tuesday!!  

I am so relieved and looking forward to my new life yet again.  This has been a very hard road lately but it only makes me stronger.  I have had to take more time off from wirk in the last 3 weeks then I have had to take in the last 6 years.  I am very thankful that I have a supportive boss and co-workers.  I have an amazing husband and he has made sure I was his first priority!!  I am so blessed.  I want to thank everyone on OH for all of your support too.  

I have went through a myraid of emotions since my surgery was cancelled on Tuesday due to thhe discovery of a Hiatal Hernia.  I was so ready emotionally and physically that the let down of the surgery not happening was harsh and fast.  Dealing with the post op discomfort when I do not have the reward of starting my new life at the same time is hard.  I have an appointment next week with my surgeon to discuss the next steps, which for him means going forward with the RNY.  I am prepared to think about the RNY as option, but it is hard transistion.  

Keep me in your thoughts that everything is going to go right from here on out. 

I am currently sitting in a hospital room with my full stomach.  The surgeon went in and found out that I had a significant hiatal hernia, so VSG is not an option.  I would have to have the RNY instead.  Then as they were extubating me I went into atrial fibrillation which is what has lead me to be admitted to the hospital...ugh I was so ready and now everything is back up in the air!  Will update when I find out anything!!!

It is surgery morning and I am up bright and early because I have a training session to do at 6:00 AM for my client before I head to the hospital.  I have been NPO since Midnight and I am hoping that my tongue does not stick to the roof of my mouth during the training session.  I feel like a huge ball of energy this morning, I am ready to get the surgery done and start my new life.  I have to admit I had a crying jag last night and all I could say is, I pray this works!!  My husband hugged me and told me that it will and he loves me no matter what!! I know that he does because he has loved me through the good times and bad.  So as I sit in my living room this morning, I am confident that this is the right decision for me right now. 

I want to thank everyone that has written on my support wall, wishing me luck and telling me that they support me. It has truly helped center me and given me confidence that this will work. 

As I wrote about a month ago, it is break up day for me and my stomach.  I am so happy that I am taking this step to end our toxic relationship. 

Wish me luck...

This time tomorrow I will be at the hospital in Pre-op for my surgery of 12:30 PM.  This is my last day of my pre-op liquid diet and at midnight I go NPO.  I am ready mentally and physically for this surgery.  As a nurse, I am not looking forward to being in the hospital, because I suck at being a patient!!  I go between two stages, not wanting to bother my nurse because I know he/she is busy and being a little judgey about the care I receive.  I hold myself to high standards when caring for patients, so when I do not see those standards in practice it bugs me.   My husband told me last night that I have to be nice to the nurses.  

I am writing letters to my daughter and husband in case something goes wrong.  I know nothing will, but it is the side of me that says that if I prepare for the worst case scenario, it will not happen. 

On side note, we finally told my in-laws about the surgery.  My in-laws are german and live in Germany and they are the best in-laws ever.  I was nervous about telling them, because no one on their side of the family has weight issues, so I was not sure that they would understand, but my husband told them everything and then they wanted to talk to me and they told me how proud they were of me for making this decision for me and my family.  It meant a lot to me.  

Fun Fact about me...I lived in New Orleans for about 6 years not too long ago and became a huge Saints fan.  I was living there the last time they won the Superbowl and partied down in the French Quarter when they won.  So I am super excited that they came back from a 0-2 start to win thier division and make the playoffs.  Living in Virginia now, we usually have to hit a restaurant to watch the regular season games, but luckily the playoffs are on across the country.  I say luckily because I am on my pre-op liquid diet and I am slightly hangry. Ok I am really hangry!! So I am better off in my living room then going to a restaurant and watching other people eat, including my dear husband.  My plan rigt now is to make myself some beef broth and enjoy the game. Oh well, I am calling this preparation for wathcing the Superbowl post-op.  

I am working from home tomorrow because my daughter is off from school and I want to spend some extra time with her tomorrow, because she is super nervous about me having surgery.  She actually went to my pre-op appointment with me to meet the surgeon and ask him some questions.  She said that she wanted to make sure that his hands did not shake.  LOL. After the appointment, she said that he was good.  

Yesterday, we found out that she won't be able to come up to the hospital to see me after my surgery until late, because she has an open house for rising 9th graders at her high school.  So instead of getting picked up after school to come to the hospital, my husband will have to rush home and feed her and then go to the open house.  I am bummed because I am usually the person that does all the school related things and of course I have agenda of the things that I want to make sure she finds out about...AP classes, the sports that she loves and student council.  Trying to prep the college application early.  My husband with his PhD..is so much more laid back.  He figures that she will go to the college that she is meant to go to and everything will work out.  I am more of a strive for the best and push yourself kind of person.  Oh well they will do fine!! 

I am ready to get through the next day and half and go in for my surgery Tuesday.  

I feel like I am nesting for myself post-surgery...Today i have cleaned and organized my pantry, fridge, and freezer.  I threw out a lot of junk food that was sitting in pantry that my daughter won't eat, so obviously I bought it for me and I will not be eating it so out it went.   It almost feels like the nesting I did right before I had my daughter 14 years ago.  So it hit me that it is very comparable, 14 years ago I was preparing my home and myself for my new life with a child and today I am preparing my home and myself for my new life and my new relationship with food.  

I am getting ready to go out and buy a few things for my post-op phase when I come home, but not a lot because I do not want to over buy especially that with the many warnings that I have received that my tastes may change post-op. I don't want to buy things that I will not be able to eat post-op.  I will buy small amounts of a few things in order to have more choices.  Once things settle down, I will buy more, in the meantime I know that my husband is quite capable of picking up a few things if I need them once I get home but before I am up for shopping myself. 

I have 3 days left before surgery and I am so excited. 

I got my surgery time yesterday and it is 12:30 on 1-16-18, and I am super excited.  I have three days left of my pre-op diet and I am surviving!!  I have all of my post op medications already filled.  I am planning on doing laundry and packing for the hospital this weekend and picking up a couple of things for when I get home.  

I flew home yesterday while on my pre-op liquid diet...lessons learned.  I was delayed on both my flights and had to spend over 5 hours in the airport waiting for flights.  Typically I would just go to a restaurant and hang out, but since I was on my liquid diet that was not really an option.  I bought several bottles of expensive airport water and hung out at the gate.  Then I would get up and walk the terminal trying to distract myself my hunger, but it was not easy since the terminal was filled with the smell of food. I was determined to not cheat on this pre-op phase and so far I have succeeded!  Four more days of liquid diet and then I will be going in for surgery.  I am slightly exhausted, but I am happy to be home where I have more options then living in a hotel room and the added bonus of not having the temptation of restaurants and fast food.