debbie13
MY RNY
Aug 20, 2012
Got to poking around the 'Health Tracker' stuff here today. Updated my little ticker. I am totaly pissed and disgusted with myself. I was at my lowest 7months after my RNY.
I will go back there. I'd love to do it by Oct 30 but that is probably not realistic. 40 lbs in 70 days. Ugh. No, not realistic at all. Last time I did that I had just had my RNY.
10 lbs by Sept 7? 10lbs in 18 days? Maybe. That is when I see my nut again. I wasn't supposed to see her til March but dang, I swallowed a cherry pit and aggravated my RNY.
Lost 10 lbs doing liquids for a week. Do I want to do that again? Maybe, maybe not. Of course I don't mean the cherry pit. That resulted in an upper GI for my RNY.
Cherry pit is gone, the 10lbs are already back. Why is it so damn hard? I know what I need to do. I know what I need to eat. You would think that at 3 1/2 years out I could handle my RNY.
No liquid week. No 5DPT. We're gonna do it right. Eat how we should. Maybe use that cute exercise out fit I got. Walking is fun. Hula hooping is too. I have two of those collecting dust. Ok, its time. WE WILL SHINE, me and my RNY.
0 comments
I will go back there. I'd love to do it by Oct 30 but that is probably not realistic. 40 lbs in 70 days. Ugh. No, not realistic at all. Last time I did that I had just had my RNY.
10 lbs by Sept 7? 10lbs in 18 days? Maybe. That is when I see my nut again. I wasn't supposed to see her til March but dang, I swallowed a cherry pit and aggravated my RNY.
Lost 10 lbs doing liquids for a week. Do I want to do that again? Maybe, maybe not. Of course I don't mean the cherry pit. That resulted in an upper GI for my RNY.
Cherry pit is gone, the 10lbs are already back. Why is it so damn hard? I know what I need to do. I know what I need to eat. You would think that at 3 1/2 years out I could handle my RNY.
No liquid week. No 5DPT. We're gonna do it right. Eat how we should. Maybe use that cute exercise out fit I got. Walking is fun. Hula hooping is too. I have two of those collecting dust. Ok, its time. WE WILL SHINE, me and my RNY.
Lost Enthusiasm
Jul 09, 2012
Yesterday I posted about having gotten somewhere in my discovery of why I ended up regaining. Emotional eating at its best and many self destructive behaviors were the root.
In my zeal of this self awareness I joined Weight Watchers for some assistance. Yeah, don't go there, I already know what you want to say. I bought exercise clothes. Cute outfit and it fits. I may wear it. I got new sneakers. Those I just plain needed. I had enthusiasm. For 10 days, I had it. I did everything I was supposed to do.
Then stuff happened. Brought up bad feelings. Therapist friend unavailable. Most of my saner friends unavailable. Summers suck. People go away. The problemed friends stay home and suffer. I did what I do best. I grazed. For 10 days. It shows.
I now need to undo the regain of the reloss of the regain of the reloss, so forth and so on. I need to find my enthusiasm. Do YOU have some you can share. Maybe you can help me find mine?
1 comment
In my zeal of this self awareness I joined Weight Watchers for some assistance. Yeah, don't go there, I already know what you want to say. I bought exercise clothes. Cute outfit and it fits. I may wear it. I got new sneakers. Those I just plain needed. I had enthusiasm. For 10 days, I had it. I did everything I was supposed to do.
Then stuff happened. Brought up bad feelings. Therapist friend unavailable. Most of my saner friends unavailable. Summers suck. People go away. The problemed friends stay home and suffer. I did what I do best. I grazed. For 10 days. It shows.
I now need to undo the regain of the reloss of the regain of the reloss, so forth and so on. I need to find my enthusiasm. Do YOU have some you can share. Maybe you can help me find mine?
Regain - again
Jul 08, 2012
Once again I am trying to face my regain and get it off. With the help of a fantastic therapist friend (insurance won't cover what I need) I have come to a point where I recognized why it happened. Sort of. I always knew when. I could look at the dates when weights were recorded and see the numbers. My friend made me look at life events. Oh fuck. She's a therapist. That's her job. She using her skill on me. Damn. Ok. So I looked.
When I was at my lowest people were telling me I looked sick and that I needed to stop losing. Gee thanks friends. I wasn't at goal but close. Then I did some stupid shit personally. Not going into details but lets just say I am lucky. And then my bariatric surgeon died - suddenly and traumatically. I soothed my soul with food. Every day. Yeah I know, shouldn't do that. But I'm not a drinker. Oh wait, that's not good for you either.
Ok, so, I know the cause. Now to deal with it. Lots of hours burning up the cell phone. Thankfully we are in different time zones and I work nights sometimes. Probably mild PTSD. Lots of tears. Lots of anger. Lots of release of pain.
Am I ready to face the regain? Don't know. Gonna try. Again.
0 comments
When I was at my lowest people were telling me I looked sick and that I needed to stop losing. Gee thanks friends. I wasn't at goal but close. Then I did some stupid shit personally. Not going into details but lets just say I am lucky. And then my bariatric surgeon died - suddenly and traumatically. I soothed my soul with food. Every day. Yeah I know, shouldn't do that. But I'm not a drinker. Oh wait, that's not good for you either.
Ok, so, I know the cause. Now to deal with it. Lots of hours burning up the cell phone. Thankfully we are in different time zones and I work nights sometimes. Probably mild PTSD. Lots of tears. Lots of anger. Lots of release of pain.
Am I ready to face the regain? Don't know. Gonna try. Again.
Community Division
Jul 02, 2012
When I first started looking into weight loss surgery, I was very overwhelmed by the information out there. The number of groups and people out there providing information can be daunting. I joined groups and made 'friends' with any one that seemed to have good, sound information. At that time, nearly four years ago, I didn't sense any issues within the 'community'.
Then something changed. I don't know what. But there was a ripple. That ripple caused a crack. There were more ripples. They were getting bigger. The crack became bigger, more like a crevasse in an ice berg. The ripples are more like quakes now and the crack has grown to canyon of grand proportions.
Why? Someone tell me why grown adults with the common goal of educating and supporting have to be so nasty to each other. We have opinions. We are entitled to them. We should be able to share that opinion without being called wrong or nasty names. Our differences in opinion should open constructive conversation, not lead to physical altercations.
I have learned so much from the 'leaders' of this community. Bloggers, mostly. All from different walks of life. All with something to share. Do I agree with everything that each and every one of them has had to say? No. But I remain respectful of them. I generally refrain comment. I'll leave that to those that want the ensuing drama.
Me? I am going to continue to be part of the many groups I belong to. I've got a few that I am really active in because of the great support. Some I just stay in so I can be entertained. Others are for recipes. Some for crafts. I think there may be a pet one or two. All of the groups I am in, regardless of content, are on my list because of my looking for info on WLS. And I am going to stay in all of them. No one better be judging me for the groups I am in.
Oh, BTW - the post engagement break-up regain is gone!!!!! Go me!
0 comments
Then something changed. I don't know what. But there was a ripple. That ripple caused a crack. There were more ripples. They were getting bigger. The crack became bigger, more like a crevasse in an ice berg. The ripples are more like quakes now and the crack has grown to canyon of grand proportions.
Why? Someone tell me why grown adults with the common goal of educating and supporting have to be so nasty to each other. We have opinions. We are entitled to them. We should be able to share that opinion without being called wrong or nasty names. Our differences in opinion should open constructive conversation, not lead to physical altercations.
I have learned so much from the 'leaders' of this community. Bloggers, mostly. All from different walks of life. All with something to share. Do I agree with everything that each and every one of them has had to say? No. But I remain respectful of them. I generally refrain comment. I'll leave that to those that want the ensuing drama.
Me? I am going to continue to be part of the many groups I belong to. I've got a few that I am really active in because of the great support. Some I just stay in so I can be entertained. Others are for recipes. Some for crafts. I think there may be a pet one or two. All of the groups I am in, regardless of content, are on my list because of my looking for info on WLS. And I am going to stay in all of them. No one better be judging me for the groups I am in.
Oh, BTW - the post engagement break-up regain is gone!!!!! Go me!
Weight Watchers
Jun 24, 2012
Yup. I did it. I joined Weight Watchers. Wonder how many of us use this to help us on our journey. Right now I am committed to 3 months on-line. I can do the weigh in part at my surgeon's office.
I supposed there will be detractors that will tell me I shouldn't 'need' to do this, but I do. I need another tool in my toolbox to get this damn regain off.
Think I may have also figured out the root cause of my regain. Can't get into details here but suffice it to say that friend therapy is going to have to work. Healing is in progress. The scale will hopefully reflect my determination.
2 comments
I supposed there will be detractors that will tell me I shouldn't 'need' to do this, but I do. I need another tool in my toolbox to get this damn regain off.
Think I may have also figured out the root cause of my regain. Can't get into details here but suffice it to say that friend therapy is going to have to work. Healing is in progress. The scale will hopefully reflect my determination.
Tingling Paws
Jun 13, 2012
Can't remember if I posted about this or not. Some of you may know that I have been dealing with a worsening of the tingling in my feet and lower legs and the relatively recent development of it in my hands and face. Its not painful, just something that is very frustrating as it doesn't go away.
Today I spent 1 1/2 hours with the neurologist and no answers - yet. He is thinking that I have some sort of hereditary senso-neuro-motor deficit. My mom says there is nothing like that in her family (tho she insists that diabetic neuropathy is hereditary, ok Dr. Mom). We don't know about my biological father. I am grateful that he took that amount of time with me and really validated that there is something going on there. He commented on my nutritionist's thoroughness in lab ordering. His words "damn she left me nothing to look for". Although, ten vials later - he found stuff to look for. Mostly hereditary and autoimmune things. And there will be an MRI soon of my head and neck. He also did the torture tests and those have gotten worse, much worse in two years.
No treatment yet, tho he did suggest Aspercream to see if it helps. He immediately reassured me that even tho it is aspirin derived it will have no effect on my pouch. A knowledgeable about RNY doctor that is not actually in the bariatric surgery business - imagine that! But of course I forgot to buy it when I went to the drug store. I'll get it tomorrow.
So life goes on. He did suggest that as a former diabetic, I watch the sugar and carbs. There could be glucose intolerance going one but he's not sure. He said HE would look into that for me and we will test for it in October if he thinks its a valid concern. So proteins and veggies only til then. Hmmmmmm, weight loss jump start? Maybe.
2 comments
Today I spent 1 1/2 hours with the neurologist and no answers - yet. He is thinking that I have some sort of hereditary senso-neuro-motor deficit. My mom says there is nothing like that in her family (tho she insists that diabetic neuropathy is hereditary, ok Dr. Mom). We don't know about my biological father. I am grateful that he took that amount of time with me and really validated that there is something going on there. He commented on my nutritionist's thoroughness in lab ordering. His words "damn she left me nothing to look for". Although, ten vials later - he found stuff to look for. Mostly hereditary and autoimmune things. And there will be an MRI soon of my head and neck. He also did the torture tests and those have gotten worse, much worse in two years.
No treatment yet, tho he did suggest Aspercream to see if it helps. He immediately reassured me that even tho it is aspirin derived it will have no effect on my pouch. A knowledgeable about RNY doctor that is not actually in the bariatric surgery business - imagine that! But of course I forgot to buy it when I went to the drug store. I'll get it tomorrow.
So life goes on. He did suggest that as a former diabetic, I watch the sugar and carbs. There could be glucose intolerance going one but he's not sure. He said HE would look into that for me and we will test for it in October if he thinks its a valid concern. So proteins and veggies only til then. Hmmmmmm, weight loss jump start? Maybe.
Bottom
Jun 11, 2012
Much like an alcoholic, I think I have hit the point where I need to seek help. Rock bottom. I am so disgusted with myself right now. I have regained the losses that I had. Not all but close to it. This pisses me off and makes me very sad at the same time. I know it is food addiction at its worst.
I need to find an organization like OA but does not have that whole faith based component. I am spiritual but not religious. Don't think my eating is something to pray about or give up to G_d. That is not my way. I need to fix it. No one else can.
So who has what suggestions for me? Besides a therapist, got one of those. And while good, he has his own weight issues. No, he is not an eating disorder specialist, the ones in my area don't take my insurance. Can't afford gas, so can't afford an eating doc.
They say that recognizing the issue is half the battle. Why does winning it seem like the harder part?
3 comments
I need to find an organization like OA but does not have that whole faith based component. I am spiritual but not religious. Don't think my eating is something to pray about or give up to G_d. That is not my way. I need to fix it. No one else can.
So who has what suggestions for me? Besides a therapist, got one of those. And while good, he has his own weight issues. No, he is not an eating disorder specialist, the ones in my area don't take my insurance. Can't afford gas, so can't afford an eating doc.
They say that recognizing the issue is half the battle. Why does winning it seem like the harder part?
Disconnect
May 31, 2012
Feeling very diconnected from a lot of things lately. The personal life seems to be falling apart, the battle with regain is not going in my favor, although it has stalled.
What does one do when feeling this disconnect? Me? I turn to food. Of course that is what so many of us do when things are tumultuos in our lives. We are seeking comfort and food is comfort. Am I doing anything different this time? Yeah, sorta. Watching the stuff I eat is never easy but when I do give in, it has been better for me stuff. Protein and veggies. Maybe that is why the battle stalled. Maybe I need to look into that a lttle more.
Eat better lose weight? Hmmmmmmm I may be onto something.
0 comments
What does one do when feeling this disconnect? Me? I turn to food. Of course that is what so many of us do when things are tumultuos in our lives. We are seeking comfort and food is comfort. Am I doing anything different this time? Yeah, sorta. Watching the stuff I eat is never easy but when I do give in, it has been better for me stuff. Protein and veggies. Maybe that is why the battle stalled. Maybe I need to look into that a lttle more.
Eat better lose weight? Hmmmmmmm I may be onto something.
Whales
May 15, 2012
Post title says it all. Never going back. Well to visit my friend yes, to that size, no way!!!!!!!
Movement
May 15, 2012
No - not poo! The scale. It is moving. Slowly but surely. 10lbs in 10 weeks. I'll take it.
Reading a great book. Its reinforcing the things that I should have been doing all along. Why does it take a brick upside the head to "get it?"
This was my original before/after. I want to get this back, the after that is.
It will happen.
0 comments
Reading a great book. Its reinforcing the things that I should have been doing all along. Why does it take a brick upside the head to "get it?"
This was my original before/after. I want to get this back, the after that is.
It will happen. About Me
Cossayuna, NY
Location
33.5
BMI
Surgery
03/30/2009
Surgery Date
Jan 29, 2009
Member Since
