The biggest I've ever been.....ever.

Oct 31, 2015

October 31, 2015

    Wow....I can't actually believe i put on 66 lbs. in a span of a year. I last weighed myself around 230+lbs....I had a physical on thursday and I was anxious to see the scale, but in a way I knew I had gain weight but not so much, because I never put on so much weight before. I started to feel it more than anything though. Oh yes your body will tell you when you put on an extra 60 lbs. Believe you me. Right now it's become hard for me to climb stairs, very sluggish, out of breath easily.....can't even chase after my children any more....knee pains alot.

    I'm going to admit I completley let myself go...Mainly becasue i had an all time plateu since last year. It all began with a gym membership. I use to always pump myself up to go. I would try and juice greens, eat healthy breakfast before i go,pack health bars for after. But I use to go alone all the time. I tried making frinds when i attend Zumba classes, but no one didn't stick. So with all this working out and loneliness before and after all this time i still felt empty going to the gym, so ,so empty. I felt invisible. I tried to have a regiment of actually toning and workouts I could feel when I went....But the boredom was overbearing. 

 

     I stop going to the gym eventually and to add insult to injury the gym slapped me with a early termination fee to boot...I was livid...From then i swore off gyms....I started to work out more instead at home like I did before, and honestly I felt more alive, workouts fullfilled....I hate running so I walked indoors and out. But whenever I would have to do jumooing jacks(forget it) not with these boobs, and any laying down excercises really began to bother me. I started to see that doing all that straneous stuff on hard wood floors wasn't a picnic. Family and I had a relocate to Pennyslvania for my husband job. But since moving to our new town...in the country life has been completley 360 for me. Some parts good about other times not.....And btw I was on my way to having my VSG surgery,b ut ti was through medicaid and so the 6 months workup got interupted due to the move of course. So now I had to start all over gain. And I just reached the point where I so over my weight and fucking food....oh food...right now I feel as if I have a love/hate relationship with food. To me it's like a drug...It gives me this comfort and joy....but for so tempoary,  then it laughs back in your face with pain from over eating sometimes and more fat added on to your already fat ass.

     I told my husband I'am done. Come next year Mexico here I come because I' am tired of waiting. I'm considering doing it through A Lighter Me in Tijuana.....during my physical I told my doctor and he was highly against it (naturally). But he can only talk. He doesn't know my damn struggles and feelings. I think I know and researched enough into options of getting the surgery. And I'm still doing some. So I will not go into this blindly.

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About Me
Oct 27, 2015
Member Since

Before & After
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Before
234lbs
Swim time, fun time
213lbs

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