Surgery in only 5 days

Feb 09, 2017

Well, I have made it through nearly the entire pre-op diet. It was a stuggle at first but it has really become a rather mundane routine. The shakes that I am using are very sweet and while I wish that I could do something about that, I am nearing the finish line. Now my worries move to the actual surgery. The travel to a new place, being away from my kids, my husband. I know that it will be alright, I know that I can handle it, however whenever I have a moment to think, my thoughts always go to this fear of being away. It seems ridiculous, it isn't like I will be in a foreign contry, I won't even be alone as my father and brother have agreed to help me after the surgery. I think that my biggest reason for being nervous lies in the fact that I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that I haven't been able to "fix" this problem of mine on my own, even though I have tried very hard over the last 17 years. That I am having to resort to surgery to help me meet my goals, that I am turning to something so completely permanent. I read a post on some board somewhere that spoke to the fact that some people think WLS is a drastic choice, but then countered that with the notion that dying in 10 years due to preventable causes was the drastic situation and the WLS was a tool to prevent it. I play that narrative over in my head quite frequently. I try my hardest to push away the feelings that I have about depriving myself of the joy of downing a big greasy burger (however fleeting) and instead choose to congratulate myself on making better choices. 

I know that my life will change after this surgery. I know that the lives of my family will also change. Our focus will be different. Our celebrations will need to revolve less around food and more around each other (doesn't sound too bad when I say it that way). I have two daughters, I really hope that by making this change now I can somehow lead them toward a healthy relationship with food. A relationship that will allow us all to enjoy our lives without feeling ashamed of ourselves. 

How has your life changed? Any regrets? Any advice for someone who is about to take the plunge? 

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