Stall

Apr 14, 2010

Ok...so I haven't lost ANY weight since last Thursday.  UGH!  And yesterday I was feeling blah, and must have looked it too, because no one said anything about my outfit.  I felt like yesterday was a FAT day. 

Today I like my outfit, but my tank & cardigan are HUGE!  But I have had 4 of my co-workers comment on how great I am looking!    Today is making up for my crappy Tuesday.

Also, I have to say, I am LOVING our Starbucks right now, I bring them my scoop of chocolate protein in the AM, have them blend it into a Venti Frapp Light, and BAM!  25+ grams of protein, and my yummy Frapp!  LOVE IT!

Hope your hump day is going as good as mine...off to eat some tuna!
8 comments

Eating or Not Eating

Apr 11, 2010

I have been thinking a lot about what goes in my mouth.  Hmm...can't imagine why?  Maybe because I have had surgery, and my stomach is now non-existent, but also because I know I HAVE to have protein.  My first bite at any meal is protein.  I am sipping on my Special K Pink Lemonade protein water right now.  I think I am a good representative of what a wls patient is. 
That being said, I refuse to say "I can never have___ again."  People say all the time "What can you eat?"  Well, I CAN eat anything, the question they should ask is, what do you eat?  I do eat tuna, chili, grilled chicken, cheese, etc.  But most nights I have fat free chocolate pudding with a scoop of fat free cool whip on top.  It is my decadent dessert, and a fine trade for the 4 scoops of ice cream I used to eat.  Today I had THREE bites of wacky cake...THREE!  But that is better than the FOUR pieces I would have had before surgery.  I can't live  my life restricted.  I can't NEVER have sweets again.  But I CAN have them in moderation, and I truly believe this surgery has helped me discover what moderation means! 
For me it means one bite, not twenty, of cake.  Since I had those bites of cake, I didn't have any sherbet, no loss there.  Today for dinner I ordered a bacon ranch salad from McDonald's, I ate the chicken, with the cheese, bacon, and LITTLE dressing.  Before I would have ordered a large two cheese burger combo, and still had ice cream later! 
These choices might not seem like much to the general population, but for me, they are life changing, and every time I make a good choice I surprise myself a little. 
Every morning I tell my 5 year old to make good choices, and that has now become my own mantra, so in the morning when I tell him to make good choices, he says back, "ok Mommy, you too!" 

2 comments

:)

Apr 09, 2010

I have a friend at work, a male, who I am actually able to talk open and honestly to.  Yesterday we were talking and I told him I've lost over 90 pounds since August.  He came into my cube this morning and said "I was thinking about you last night, and I cannot believe you've lost 90 pounds!  That is insane!"  So I showed him some old pictures of me, and he said "That doesn't even look like you!"  And he knew me then too! 
It was a fantastic way to start a Friday!!! 

3 comments

Current Funk

Apr 07, 2010

No one can pull me out of this funk but me!   No one can control my attitude but me! 

Ok Jenci...pull yourself together!  You have a husband and two boys to care for!  Enough pouting and crying over NOTHING! 

You WILL lose the weight in due time, 57.6 pounds down since surgery is nothing to scoff about!  Believe it when you tell yourself everyone is different, and everyone will lose at a different pace.  You are doing nothing wrong.  HANG IN THERE!

You're doing fantastic, and you WILL succeed!

Ok.  BREATHE!  MOVE ON! 
3 comments

Blah

Apr 07, 2010

I have always battled depression.    Since I was 13!  I have been taking my antidepressants since surgery and am beginning to wonder if they're doing their job properly.  Yesterday and today I have been a ball of tears.  I am overly emotional to the point where I almost start crying at work for no apparent reason.  I am angry, and grouchy, in other words, no fun to be around.  Aunt Flow left on Sunday, so that isn't my issue.  UGH!   So in addition to not having a good mentality I also have NO drive to go walk around the park. 

P.S. Thank you to everyone for your comments on yesterday's post, I needed those words of encouragement!
2 comments

Spurred my comments...

Apr 06, 2010

Anna spurred the following post...and it is more of a complaint than anything else...I just need to vent...so move on if you've got enough problems of your own. 
So, I have gained weight.  A pound and a half in three days.  I told my husband I gained a half pound yesterday, and he said "You gained?!?!?"  I pissed me off!  But did I say anything?  No, I let it go.  I have enough issues without him harping on me about my SLIGHT gain!  Now I don't even want to eat.  And today is a small pouch day, and that isn't helping me to get in enough nutrients.  And I can't help but think, "Why didn't you say that when I was at my FATTEST?"  Yes, he loved me anyway, and he continues to love me, but HELLO, if there was ever a time to chastize me about weight gain it was 92 pounds ago!  WTF!  WHATEVER!
So I have decided that since I am scale addicted (yes, I know, I should only weigh once a week), I am only going to post weight loss, if I gain a half pound I am going to ignore it and move on, but if I lose a half pound I am going to celebrate and shout from the roof tops (ok not really, that could be quite dangerous), but you get my point!   I can't wait to be a loser again!
3 comments

Happy Monday!

Apr 05, 2010

It is Monday!  Yesterday was Easter, and I survived without over eating (yes, my pouch shouldn't let me do that, but if I eat too fast it does happen!), and I was able to take one bite of coconut cream pie!  I was kind of sad to take a bite, but as my friend reminded me last night "you didn't get the way you were with one bite of pie!".  So I stopped hating myself for that bite. 
I love that I am losing, it is wonderful.  But like a lot of people, I don't see the change.  I can wear sizes I haven't worn in 10 years, but I just don't see I am that different.  Yesterday my grandma said she didn't recognize me, I waved to her out the front door of my office when she and my mom came by to drop off lunch, and when my mom got back in the car she said "Who did you give Jenci's lunch to?"  She didn't recognize me!  Sadly enough I think that is because of her mind, she isn't 100% there.  I don't think she remembers that I had surgery until she sees me, so she isn't expecting to see a smaller me.
Bitter sweet I guess!
3 comments

Size 18!

Apr 01, 2010

Ok.  My cousin brought over some clothes a few weeks ago.  Mostly size 20 - 16.  I have been moaning about my lack of clothing options, so this morning I thought I would try on a pair of size 18 pants for shits & giggles.   Well...not only did I get them over my thighs and hips...but I was able to suck it in and button & zip them!  They are SOOOOOOOOO not stretch pants either....firm material!  I am wearing them now, and yes, I can feel pressure, as they are the tighest pants I have worn in a while, but it is a good tight, a size 18 tight!  LOVE IT! 

Also, I had ordered some clothes from Lane Bryant, they came, the 18-20 shirts and sweaters are a bit tight, but will work, but the 24 pants are HUGE!  WHO KNEW!!!   People keep telling me how great I look, but I just don't see it!  But between learning last night that my newly ordered clothes won't fit, and this morning being able to wear size 18, I think I am SLOWLY getting it...I AM SHRINKING!!! 
1 comment

Cadbury Mini Eggs

Mar 31, 2010

Damn those mini eggs!  I have been addicted to them since I was a little girl, and my Nany would have a little bag for me each Easter.  As an adult I would buy the HUGE bag, and have it done in a matter of days.  In the last few years I have bought multiple bags each Easter.  Yesterday as I walked to the checkout line there they were...that GORGEOUS purple bag, calling my name...but I walked right past...and bought my groceries...and went home...w/o the mini eggs.  And surprisingly enough, I am OK!    WOO HOO!!!  I haven't been plotting how I am going to get my hands on some either!  How freakin exciting!  I am now going to enjoy my South Beach Chocolate Raspberry bar! 
0 comments

UGH!

Mar 30, 2010

Overdid it!

Got a frozen yogurt with almonds.  Ate too fast...and I am not feeling good   I was feeling sorry for myself!  Aunt Flo is in town, and I have bronchitis!  NO FUN!
2 comments

About Me
Sacramento, CA
Location
44.0
BMI
RNY
Surgery
01/11/2010
Surgery Date
Dec 22, 2009
Member Since

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