Jenniflower75

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Well I go in January for information session on bypass surgery as A revision! I hope I qualify!!!!!!!! I've started gaining weight again and I'm back over 200 pounds!!!! I hope that they do the surgery!

I'm only eating between 600-1000 calories a day my concerns are that when I get to my goal weight I'm not sure how many calories I should be eating to maintain my weight and not gain it back. That scares me especially since my body will be so used to being on such a low calorie diet for so long because I'm coming up on three years of a very low calories for my day and then at the same time I can't imagine being able to eat more than 1000 calories in a day. So how did you guys do it and how did you find your sweet spot that you didn't gain but you maintained your weight?

I start PT this week for my back. I can't wait. I hope it helps. I'm tired of hurting. On days that my back cracks I feel much better but on days that it won't I feel like I can barely move. I'm on a new pill that is an anti inflammatory that isn't an NSAID I haven't picked it up yet so I'm not sure how it works. I hope it's something good. I'm losing weight again. I had stopped for a little while at 196 but now I'm down to between 194-195 I can't wait to be below 190. I think I would be a lot healthier feeling at around 130-150. 150 is still considered over weight but I think I would feel better.

Not a weight loss surgeon. This time its an orthopedic surgeon about my back. I don't know if they are going to suggest surgery or not but I'm hoping they have some kind of suggestions because I am in so much pain I can barely walk. I can't exercise I can't even sit for very long. I'm almost bed ridden. I can't live like this. I only get a few hours a day that I can be active then I'm stuck on my butt because I can't move without terrible pain. I need some relief.

I'm still losing weight Yay. I weighed in at 194.8 today. I had a slight weight gain on Friday for my weigh in due to water weight but after I dropped the water weight I am down to 194.8! SO Since the beginning of June I've lost 14 lbs. I'm so excited about this. It's good to see the scale moving downward. I can't wait to reach my first goal of 188. It's good to see I have a waist. I have hips, I'm not just a blob. It's good to have a shape and starting to feel like a woman again.

So proud of myself. I am kicking ass and taking names. I am sticking to my eating plan and losing weight. It has nothing to do with my surgery because I am almost three years out with only 23 lbs lost from surgery. This is all me. I'm doing it all on my own.  I'm using the eating plan from the surgery but I'm counting my calories, I'm measuring my food again, and I'm making healthy choices. I still can't exercise. I haven't been to the specialist yet to find out what I'm cleared to do. I go see him on the 19th so until then I'm riding solo. The most exercise I get is walking in the stores for short distances and cleaning my house for short spurts. That's the best I can do. I will NOT do anything until I am cleared because this pain is unbearable and out of two weeks or longer I'm lucky if I have one day that is pain free. It's the worst pain I've ever felt. It scares me because it feels like I"m going to collapse and be paralyzed. Now common sense tells me that won't happen but ever feeling, nerve, muscle, and bone in my body is screaming I better sit down or it will be the last time I take a step. 

I can't wait to see the doctor Friday. I look forward to my weigh in's because I don't have a working scale. Which is frustrating because I'm addicted to the scale! I know it's not healthy but it makes me feel better to be able to check to see if my weight is fluctuating. Any way that's what's going on with me. TTYL

It's been one week since my last check up with my PCP and I've lost two pounds. I'm happy with the loss. It's not much but I will take it. I'm finally moving in the right direction and permanently under 200 lbs. I'm 196 and dropping. He started me on Tramadol for my back but hasn't cleared me for any exercise until I see an orthopedic surgeon. I made my appointment with them and the earliest I could get in is the 19th of next month. I can't wait. I'm so tired of hurting all of the time. I just want to be fixed up and back to normal, or even semi normal.

I want to get into counseling about my eating habits but there are no therapists in my area (within 50 miles) that deal with eating issues. I really want to deal with my relationship with food. It's very difficult to have an addiction to something you need to survive. That's like telling an alcoholic they HAVE to drink a sip of booze once every hour or two but can't have more than that. It's torture. I want to learn to deal with it. I also need a healthy relationship with my body. I do not see myself the way I truly look. I always see myself as morbidly obese no matter how skinny I get. When I weighed 130 lbs I was in a size 7 jeans and I still saw my body as if I were the same size as I am now. While I know I'm losing weight now, when I look in the mirror what I see is someone who is growing in size. I appear to be getting larger and larger. Now this isn't true of course but I see that to be true. When I was in a size 7 I thought I looked Like I do now. Now when I look back at pictures from that time I look thin, almost sickly thin. I just need to learn to accept my body. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to love my body. I don't know how to truly see my body the way it really looks. How many ppl do you know have NO idea what their body truly looks like? Bizzare when you think about it. 

I'm going on a picnic with my husband today. It will be the first one we have ever had since we have been together. I think we are going to take the dogs so we will be able to walk them around a bit. I of course can't over do it because of my back but it will be nice to be out. I've been sleeping poorly and came up with this idea at 2:37 this morning lol. My stomach seems to be back to surgery standards. As I said I've been up since 2:37 and I'm still not hungry. It is now 9:22 and I'm good to go. I packed a healthy lunch for my husband and myself. I'm so proud of him. He's been losing weight on his own and doing fabulous. no cheating or anything. he has changed his eating habits and is losing. It's slow going but he IS losing and that's all that matters.

The water weight is about gone and I'm back on a losing stretch. I'm only getting about 800 calories a day because I just haven't been hungry lately but I'm hoping that this will get me used to only eating 1000-1200 calories a day. I've lost my taste for junk food. I no longer crave it. It's been offered to me and I have passed for months now. I do have cravings some times that I don't know what I'm craving. Nothing satisfies it but I assume that's my body telling me I need something I just don't know what it is because I eat a little bit of everything I'm supposed to eat with the exception of carbs. i rarely eat excess carbs Only the ones that are in my healthy food choices. I'm drinking less coffee and a LOT more water which has been nice. Now if I could just quit smoking. I have a script from the doc for the patch but I haven't had the money to pick it up yet. I'm still facing some medical issues but I'm ready to fight that battle. My back has a compression fracture so UNTIL I get to a specialist I can't really do any exercising. Simple things like even cleaning or walking put me down for the day. I'm scared of the water so water exercises are out. I'm so happy to be back on the losing side of things again though and happy to be in the 100's again. Now if I can just keep up this trend things will be good.

I woke up this morning barely able to walk because I'm so swollen. I really don't get this, I really don't know what to do to relieve this swelling. I'm up to 200.8 lbs now because of being swollen. I can't be over 200 lbs again. :'( I have eaten good and have avoided sodium in every way possible. I'm drinking water and coffee trying to release this excess water and even that isn't working. I'm going to try getting some exercise today and drink extra water. I have to get this off of me asap.