80 Lbs gone; woohoo!

May 20, 2017

I hit a milestone for me today; I'm down 80 Lbs now!  I was 223.8 this morning. 

My next milestone will be getting out of the 220's.  The 220's are weird for me, because even though I've lost so much weight, the 220's feel icky to me because for years my Mom criticized my Dad for weighing 220.  He eventually went up to more than 320 Lbs and I think part of that was due to the constant nagging and criticism.  He started eating at night, after she went to bed, just for some peace and quiet, and when I was home, I joined him.  The weird thing, is my Dad is almost 6 feet tall and when he was younger he was very muscular and he looked great at 220.  My Mom was just being mean.  I think it runs in her family, as last time we went out, my uncle, her brother, told her she looks fat.  She wears a ladies size medium and is not fat at all. 

The first time I weighed 220, when I was in my 30's, I think, I was full of shame and anxiety about it because I could hear my Mom's voice in my head.  This time, after weighing 304 as a high weight, 220 shouldn't sound bad, but it feels worse than the 230's.  I mean, I was thrilled to get out of the 230's, but the 220's are hard.  I'll be super happy to get past them eventually.  Then my next goal will be to lose 100 Lbs and then shortly after that, Onederland, as my 100 Lb goal will come at 204.  I'll only be 4 Lbs away from Onederland then.

I ate some salad for the first time two days ago and spent the entire night running to the washroom.  It was either that or the salmon but something didn't agree with me.  Yesterday I was totally drained and felt ill and stayed in bed almost all day long. I made sure to get lots of fluid.  I'm having a protein shake for breakfast to see if that will settle my stomach.  I'd like to go for a bikeride today but am afraid to go to far from the washroom, lol.  Maybe I'll just walk in the mall later, so I'll be able to run for the washroom if I need it.

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Oct 06, 2016
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