kittykate

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Well, not just yet, but almost. In 1 1/2 days I get my new lease on life. I'm not gonna lie...I am scared and nervous and I am totally questioning my decision to have this surgery. I know that I am not going to back out now and that I will do this, but that doesn't stop the negative feelings I have. I guess the negative feelings are just a natural part of the process, just like the positive ones. And somewhere deep inside (probably where that skinny girl is hanging out) I know, without a doubt, that this surgery is exactly what I need to do and what I should do.

Okay, enough of the deep thoughts. I am posting tonight (on Tuesday) because we will be leaving at 5:00 am tomorrow morning in order to get to the hospital to do my pre-op stuff and registration. I have to have a gallbladder ultrasound, blood work, EKG, chest x-ray, and an EGD (scope). Sounds like lots of fun. I'm still not sure why my doctor waits until the day before surgery to do all these tests but that's apparently the way he does things and I trust him. He must know what he's doing, right?  I guess the next time I post I will be on the other side (of surgery, that is).

So I started my pre-op diet on Monday and it's sooo hard to do. It's even harder because my doc is not requiring it, I'm just doing it on my own. I figure it's the best way to get myself ready for after surgery but I am also thinking, man, if I can't handle this little bitty diet, how will I ever deal with what is to come? I do have to start a doctor-required liquid diet on the 10th and that sounds like too much fun (not). 

Anyway, I can't even begin to describe the whirlwind of emotions I have been spinning around and around in. One minute I'm daydreaming of being the beautiful, skinny person I know is in there somewhere and the next I am crying over anything and everything. I don't know how many times I have thought and re-thought about my decision to do this. Am I doing the right thing? Should I try yet another diet first? Am I going to die if I have surgery? Am I going to die if I don't? I have to believe that this is all happening because it is meant to and that I am being given this opportunity of a lifetime, along with all that comes with it, because I am capable of doing this and I will do this.

So I went for my consultation with Dr. Chung yesterday. My DH and I were almost 45 minutes late for the appointment. Not only was there a huge storm system that moved across Louisiana and right into our path to the doctors office, but we also decided that yesterday would be a great day to go ahead and shop for a new car. Which explains why we were 45 minutes late to the appt (and to add to that, we got lost once we got near his office). Needless to say, I was stressed to the max by the time I actually got to see the doctor and I couldn't remember anything I wanted to ask him. Fortunately, he told me most of the things I needed to know without my asking. He told me he was 100% sure that my insurance would approve so they went ahead and set my surgery date (January 17, 2008!!) and said the approval would take about 2 days. Well, I got online this morning and checked my insurance's website and....drumroll please...I saw the approval!!! I almost fell out of my chair! I printed the approval out and ran to the bedroom where my DH was still sleeping and shoved the printout under the cover with him (he sleeps with the blanket over his head!) and I was screaming "Look! Read this! Do you see it?". Well, it took him a moment to get excited, but he eventually did get it. Anyway, right now I am waiting for the doctor's office to call to set up my pre-op appts and just trying to let it all sink in...

Yay! I just talked to my  new surgeon's office and I have an appt for the day after Christmas! It's just for the consultation but still I am so excited. Oh, by the way, I have decided (for now) not to use Dr. Chu for several reasons. I will change my surgeon's name on my profile to the new doctor as soon as I am sure I will be using him. I just can't believe I already have the consultation. Having my insurance (Tricare Standard) helps because I apparently don't need a referral from my PCM so that saves me alot of time and hassle. Well, I will update next week after my appt.

I have finally made the first step toward acheiving my goal...to have gastric bypass surgery. I have been interested in WLS for several years but I never thought it would actually be a possibility. But just recently I really started to do my research and I realized that it could happen! After much research I have picked a surgeon and made my first call. I am still waiting to hear from the surgeon's office about whether or not my insurance will cover any WLS (even though I already know that they will). I guess my next step will be to see my PCM ( I have an appointment next week) and hopefully get his referral. I realize that this is by no means a quick and easy process and that it will all take time. But I am determined to see this through no matter how hard it gets. It is time to make this drastic change in my life and nothing is going to stop me now!