kwinkleman

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Well today I had my almost 11 week checkup.  Everything is perfect.  You can see kicking little legs in this photo.  I have another of the arms and a little hand waiving to us.  Even a nose is recognizable in this photo....which is crazy because about 3 weeks ago there were no features that you could make out.  I think I am going to start a baby book this weekend.  I want to caputre every memory and be able to preserve all these precious photos!!!!
Happy Weekend everyone!!!

Whew......let me tell you that I have missed posting.  This was always my "outlet" to get things off my chest and vent (for lack of better words).  I was to preface this conversation by saying that EVERYONE is different and EVERY situation is going to be different.  This is just my situation and my experience and what I am going through
Being pregnant after RNY is hard!!!!!  My one year surgiversary was November 29th.  And I think I did pretty good, was down a little over 120 pounds, was finally feeling better, had more energy, was exercising.....and then.....Positive Pregnancy Test LOL.
Since then life has really changed.  In the last 10 weeks everything has changed to be honest.  Some of you may remember that I was posting abour 8 weeks or so ago about my extreme bloating.  Did you know that bloating is a sign of pregnancy?  When you become pregnant your digestive tract slows down in order for your body to absorb more of the nutrients from your food (or at least thats what the Dr's say).  Which sounds logical right?  It sounds like a perfect thing for your body to do.....unless you are a post-op RNY patient who also had their gallbladder removed and who already has HUGE digestive issues!  That makes it a mix for disaster.  I was 10 weeks out as of Sunday and I am still bloating.  Not quite as bad (knock on wood....literally) but still bloating.  I have taken out stock in Gas-X, Mylanta, Beano, and a few other gas/bloat related products because I am buying them every week.  I take so much Gas-X I literally had a box in my car, a box at my desk, and a box at  home....oh and some in my purse just in case.  I talked to my OB and she didn't seem concerned.  Until I called her panicking because I was taking a daily cocktail of them all combined and was still in a world of pain and bloated so she called me in a prescription.  I am still bloated, I still deal with bloat every single day, and it still kicks my butt 90% of the time!
I have got to see the baby on ultrasound twice, and I go back again this Friday.  I got to hear that tiny beautiful heartbeat which literally brought tears to my eyes.  And in some ways makes all the ups and downs with food seem a little more worth it.  But it is still HARD!  When I was pregnant with my son over 8 years ago I didn't have a care in the world.  I took my vitamin and ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.....and I gained a nice 70+ pounds.  Most of which I lost....but picked back up over the 8 years since I had him.  I didn't worry about eating healthy, or drinking water, or walking, or eating slowly.  I just ate when I was hungry which clearly was all the time.  This time around it is TOTALLY different.  Everything is different.  I literally have to plan out meals and snacks and think about when I will eat so I can know when to get in my water, and even the choices of foods that I eat play a huge role in everyday life.  Does it have enough protein, enough healthy fats, enough good carbs, enough calcium.  Will it make me bloat, will it make my tummy/pouch upset?  If I eat this now will I regret it later?  Do I have enough time between this meal and my next meal to drink my water?  It is something that I think about every second of everyday.
So with all that said I am proof that RNY changes your life completely.  What may have seemed like a normal thing before surgery is now not so normal.  What use to be an unimportant detail is now a major part of every decision I make.  It is a totally different way of thinking.  It is also hard to get your head wrapped around the fact that even though I am not physically hungry I have to eat a snack.  I know the baby only needs around 300-400 more calories a day....but when I was barely getting in the 800-1000 calories that I need to make it through the day those extra 300-400 calories can be a major hurdle.  So I personally am adding in super healthy snacks every 2-3 hours, and light healthy lunches/dinners/breakfasts.
Fresh fruit and veggies, low calorie dips if needed, cheese, proteins (meats, fish, shrimp), complex carbs on occasion.  I find myself eating more saltine crackers than anything LOL but I am trying to switch that up or at least add something healthy and beneficial to the saltine to make it more substantial.  And don't even get me started on morning sickness.....morning sickness after RNY = torture LOL.  There is nothing in your stomach anyway so you can't literally get sick you just feel like you want to get sick all day.....makes for a very long and draining day.
On a positive note.....I WOULDN'T CHANGE A SINGLE THING!!!!!!!!!!!!   I am so excited to find out the sex of the baby, and be a mom again, I am excited for my son to be a big brother, I am excited to decorate the nursery.  I am excited about everything.  Even getting a baby bump and buying maternity clothes....which sounds crazy but I am embracing it all.  And after baby is born it will be back to maintenence, exercise and hopefully a skinnier waist line LOL

Well it is almost Thanksgiving and I for one have a TON of things to be Thankful for this year:
~I am thankful for my amazing son, who keeps me grounded and positive
~I am thankful for having lost 120 pounds in a year since my surgery (11/29/2010)
~I am thankful for being the healthiest that I have ever been in my entire life.  I honestly never thought I would be able to say that.
~I am thankful to have found this website and to be able to share my thoughts, my successes, my failures, my struggles, and my life with people who truly understand.
~I am thankful for my job, and for that paycheck every other Friday
~I am thankful that this year I will be spending Thanksgiving with my family back in Indiana.
~I am thankful for the real friends that have stood by myside through thick and thin and taught me so very much
~I am thankful to be back in school, learning, and hopefully providing myself with a way to better myself and my family
~I am thankful to be in beautiful (yet chilly today) Florida, I remember day dreaming with friends when I was young about living in Florida LOL
~I am thankful to be able to provide for my family this holiday season, with not only a great Thanksgiving meal, a Merry Christmas filled with presents and pretty decorations, but also with the true meaning of the GIVING season.
~I am thankful that God has brought me to this very place in my life, and for all the many blessings that he provides me with each and every day
~I am thankful for my little "bun in the oven" which as we all know wasn't planned but has already brought me such joy and happiness that it is simply undescribable. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________
I think sometimes we all forget what the true meaning of the Holiday season is.  I know I for one sometimes think too much about presents, gifts, decorations, huge meals.  But we all have to remember that there are those out there that simply don't have the luxuries that we have.  I am happy to be part of giving to others and sharing my blessings with those not as fortunate.  I wish I could do more, but I hope that the efforts we do make truly touches the lives of others.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
BABY UPDATE: well I had my first OB appointment on the 7th...which would have put me at 5 weeks pregnant from the day of my last cycle.  I had read that you usually can't see/hear the heartbeat until you are 5.5-6 week pregnant.  So I went in not expecting any ultrasound or anything.  Well to my surprise they did an ultrasound....can't really see anything and she COULDN"T see/hear the heartbeat.  She took some measurements and said "well you are about 6 weeks"....ok, so if I am 6 weeks....why can't you see/hear the heartbeat.  She looked back at her book and said well we are going to go with the 5 week mark, so come back in a week and we will do the ultrasound again.  SOOOOOO I have been totally stressed out all week, but Monday is right around the corner and my appointment is at 9am...so I will be there at 8:30am patiently waiting for this ultrasound to see if they can hear/see the heartbeat this time.  I have prayed on it and I fully understand that it is God's will.  Whatever he wants to happen will happen so there is no point in me getting myself all worked up just yet....plus it is not safe for the baby.  So I am planning on doing nothing but resting and doing a little cleaning this weekend and wait for Monday at 9am.

We leave for our Thanksgiving trip on November 23....will be back the 27th.  So that will be a nice little getaway from all the stress.  I just hope I can pull off this 11 1/2 hour drive.  Just coming to work everyday has been completely exhausting to me.  I literally get off work, go get my son, and go straight home and to the bed or the couch.  I haven't been cooking or anything....all microwave meals or he has been cooking.  I have to pull myself out of this slump or at least try to.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!  T.G.I.F

Well....I am not even sure where to start....or even how to begin!!  What I can say is that it was totally unexpected, shocking, I honestly don't think I believe it myself but.....I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know, I know, I know.....my surgery was November 29, 2010 so I am not quite a year out.  And my weight loss was going so darn good.  Clearly this was not planned.  I found out on Halloween...funny story I was on the depo shot before, but my monthly cycle hadn't started.  So just out of curiosity I went and bought a 2 pack of tests, I put one in my purse and brought it back to work with me.  Went to use it and it didn't do anything.  So I ever so patiently waited for the day to end so I could go home and try the other one....it came back positive.  I didn't believe it, went to the store and bought another 2 pack but this time I got the digital kind.  First one came back "pregnant"....still didn't believe it, so I waited until last night and took the other one...."pregnant".  So I have made an appointment, since I finally have insurance now, so I will be going to visit my new OB/GYN on Monday so I guess that will be the OFFICAL moment.  I have only told a few people, but really couldn't wait to come here because of course the #1 thing on my mind is making sure that both myself and the baby are healthy and that I am able to eat enough of the right things to ensure that the baby gets the nutrients that it needs.
While this was NOT in any way planned and is still a complete shock I am excited.  I wanted another child and I will be 32 at the end of the month, so while the timing isn't perfect, it is exciting and I just can't wait to get a little further along and see what this pregnancy has in store for me.  I am hoping and praying that it is a girl since I already have an amazing little boy!  But I will be excited and happy about it either way.  Funny thing....I already have names picked out.  It is something that I have been thinking about for months.  I have known that I wanted a little girl and I want her name to be either Milania or Isabella.  If it is a boy....he might be nameless for a few hours....as I have no idea yet what I would want to name him LOL

Happy Halloween!!  I have vowed to stay away from the Halloween candy, treats, cupcakes, cookies, and/or anything else sweet and tempting today and for the week ahead after my son goes trick or treating and brings back all the delicious not so healthy treats back to the house.  I tried to tell him this morning that trick or treating was cancelled but he didn't buy it LOL.
So I FINALLY MADE IT TO MY ORIGINALL SURGERY GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!! I am doing the happy dance right now in my chair at work.  I actually passed my goal.  My original goal was 180, that would have put me at losing 120 pounds.  Well this morning the scale said 177.6....I updated my health tracker to the 179 that I saw Friday....not sure if the scale was just trying to be funny this morning or if I really lost 2 more pounds over the weekend.  Is it normal to have this type of weight loss almost a year out?  Maybe my lifestyle chance of cutting out meat and most gluten products is paying off.  Or maybe the weekly B12 shots that I started getting 2 weeks ago is helping out?  Im not sure what it is but I am so happy that the loss has picked back up.
At the same time I am wondering what weight I will truly be happy at.  I originally thought that 180 was the weight that I wanted to be.  I remember telling myself that once I get to 180 I wouldn't want to lose another pound.  But I think I want to lose a little more.  180 feels great don't get me wrong as I am not complaining at all, it is just what is that "happy" weight?  Is there such thing?  The more I think about it I honestly don't know if anyone is ever truly happy with their body/weight.  I think about the beautiful top supermodels and they are usually on a diet, or changing their hair style, it is like a constant battle/struggle to be the best person we can be inside and out.  I do know that not eating meat and really watching my food closly has made me feel a lot better.  The B12 shots have really helped as well.  I do not feel this HUGE energy burst but it does make it a little bit easier to get out of bed in the morning.  I find that my motivation is higher to do things that I normally would frown upon doing.  So I think I will continue them for a little while longer.
I have to admit that I am a little bit FRUSTRATED with myself thought.  I love wine...it is something that I just started having a taste for before surgery.  I use to never drink wine but then I finally found one that I like so I started drinking it more often.  WELL....last night I got a bottle...not sure why but I thought "hey why not".  Got completely drunk, and now today.....hangover city....and yes I am at work.  It is noon and my motivation still hasn't come back...if you see him please send him back my may!!  Thanks LOL.  I have tried drinking water, hot tea, Emergen C, I had an egg for breakfast, then got to work and had some almonds....nothing is working.  My head is spinning, I have the shakes.  Now I fully understand why 1) I shouldn't drink and 2) I shouldn't drink the night before work.  New goal....never drink again!!!!!!!! and if I do....stick to one glass and one glass only.  This feeling is SO NOT WORTH IT!
Almost time for lunch, I brought a Boca Burger but I can't stand to sit in the office for an hour so I am going to go out.  I think to this local Sushi place.  They have these green bowls, lettuce topped with your favorite fresh ingredients.  I think I want the fried tempeh, lemongrass tofu, and veggie medley with mushrooms, asparagus, cream cheese and avocado with eel sauce and spicy sauce.  Sounds like a lot huh....for $9 bucks it should be lol.  But that will be at least 3 meals for me, so I guess it is worth it LOL

So I have officially been doing my vegetarian low gluten way of living for a full week now.  And I have to admit that it is going really good.  I never knew that vegetables and meat substitutes could be so darn yummy.  AND I am proud to say that the SCALE HAS FINALLY MOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am down to 183.2!!!!!!!   3.2 pounds away from my original goal set at surgery.  It is crazy because I literally never thought that I would be anywhere near this weight.  I went and bought a new pair of jeans this weekend.....size 14!!!  It was a victory for sure.  To be able to shop in the "normal size" clothing and actually be able to try stuff on was very liberating.  3.2 pounds....I so want to be at goal before I leave for my trip back home for Thanksgiving....I think I can make it now

I tried a few new things this weekend that I want to share:
Asparagus Sesame stir fry- simply amazing=
10 asparagus stalks
1/2 of a small to medium size onion chopped thick
I put in a little cabbage for extra crunch
Mixed all together in a wok with a little olive oil and garlic powers and adobo
added 2 tablespoons of sesame sauce when veggies were almost done
-This is probably my favorite stir fry yet.  The sesame goes great with the asparagus and onions.

Morningstar Buffalo Chik'n Nuggest
These little puppies taste so much like chicken it is unbelievable.  I baked mine so they tasted fresh, went down good and agreed with my pouch.  They do have a slightly mushier texture then real chicken nuggets but I think if I would have let t hem back a little longer that might taken care of this issue.  I had them with my homemade ranch dip.  One packet of ranch seasoning and a 16oz container of sour cream.  Next time I am going to add greek yogurt to up the protein in my dip.

Tempeh- Tempeh is made from cooked and slightly fermented soybeans and formed into a patty, similar to a very firm veggie burger. *** I officially like this SO MUCH better then tofu.  I don't think that the tofu recepies that I have been trying were really working out because of the mushy, wet texture.  But I had Tempeh fried....amazing.  It tasted so much like meat I had to google it just to see what it really was.  So I went to the store and got some for myself.  I made a little flour mixture with all my seasonings and lightly diped the tempeh in the mixture and pan fried them in a little olive oil and then diped them in ketchup....sounds crazy but it was delicious.  The firmed right up, fried to a nice golden brown and gave me that crunch I was looking for.  Tempeh is also high in protein and LOW in calories which works for me trying to lose that 3.2 pounds!!!   

I have come to the revalation....(through my current misery) that I have to have a gluten allergy.  Today is Sweet Treat Monday at the office (why is there always food around????)  I made my yummy Vanilla Gluten Free cake with Coconut Pecan icing (all time fave).   BUT another girl made a white cake with this cherry filing inbetween the layers.  So I got a little sliver.....instant misery!  NEVER again.  I haven't had this feeling in almost a week.  Bye bye gluten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TGIF....I cannot express how throughly excited I am that today is FINALLY Friday.  I want to sleep in this weekend (at least till 9am) LOL and relax.  Tonight I am going to probably be as lazy as possible.  I might do a little laundry, but nothing major.  Tomorrow I am taking my son shopping for a Halloween Costume and then tomorrow night is his big Spooktacular at his daycare.  They are going to have a haunted house, trick or treating, games, food, candy, candy, and more candy LOL.  So that should be fun.  Sunday I am going to relax some, take a walk, spend time with my son and get ready to come back to work on Monday.  Last night I had left overs....my veggie maranara was so yummy....there was no need to try or make anything else.  Not sure what I am going to have tonight.  I really want to try the tofu BBQ wings so I might run past the store and give that a try.  I have also been wanting to look for a light yet tasty salad dressing, so that is more than likely what I will do after work.
Tomorrow is my co-workers birthday so we are having "salad bar day" at work today.  I made a huge batch of egg salad last night....her favorite, so lunch is going to be salad.  For breakfast I had an over easy egg with some grilled onions and then I had some smoked almonds.  Dinner will be something yummy from wings, to some other type of tofu or tempeh.  I have not experiemented with tempeh yet but I am certainly looking forward to doing so.

I have to admit that I have never been able to resist any food temptations.  Cookies....I want one.  Cake....I want some.  Sandwiches....sure why not.  Even after surgery I would find myself testing the waters to taste the different temptations that came my way.  I work in a law office and for some reason people like to "thank us" with food.  Cookes, cakes, brownies, pasteries, fruit (which is ok...but its all covered in chocolate), different sandwich trays.....well today in walks in a HUGE bag of wraps from Jason's Deli and a HUGE bag of chips and salsa.  Super nice of the company that sent it!  So I am appreciative don't get me wrong....but the temptation was still there.  Clearly the wraps were not gluten free....or vegetarian.  There was ham, roast beef, turkey, chicken salad, and for THE VERY FIRST TIME EVER I looked at them and kept walking.  They didn't even look appealing to me because I know that after about 3 bites of the wrap I would be in bloat city and completely miserable.  I did have a few....like 6 chips and a spoonful of the salsa.  I am not bloated but I am not wanting any more of the chips/salsa either.  I had a nice little bite and I was done.
I think that once you really set your mind to something you have to truly stick with it.  Every one (here) critizes me for my choices.  I hear this line all the time "well if you aren't eating meat what are you eating?" and this one "there is nothing wrong with wheat flour...it's in everything".  My answer to the first question is "meat is murder" LOL and to the second question  I try to explain why I am cutting out the gluten and the issues that I have been having.  That is when I get the 'deer in headlights' look and they usually stop asking questions at that point LOL  For TWO whole days I have not had any bloating.  I don't truly think that "meat is murder" but I mean really it is if you think about it....but I have ate meat for 31 years...so to each there own.  I cook meat, I still buy meat, I just chose not to eat it RIGHT NOW.  That doesn't mean that I may not add fish, or lean meats back into my diet later, but right now I am going to do without.  
Last night I made the MOST delicious dish ever.  Veggie Marinara:
One bag of frozen broccoli
One bag of frozen cauliflower
1/2 onion chopped (I love onions)
package of asparagus
1/2 block firm tofu mashed and then fried up with garlic and taco seasoning
I cooked all the veggies together until almost done and drained off the excess water.  Then I added a jar of low sodium marinara sauce (meatless of course).  I chose the olive oil and garlic flavor.  I added my own seasonings, Adobo, garlic, and onion powder (I really like onions).  And the tofu, and I let this simmer up.  I added a little bit of splenda and cayenne pepper, I also like a sweet heat LOL.  When done I put a little shredded cheddar cheese on top and let it melt....OMG, it was amazing.  I brought some for lunch today and my coworker tried it...she thought it had meat in it too...and she really liked it.
Tonight I am going to try either the BBQ or the Buffalo tofurky wings and I think I am going to whip together some homemade ranch dip with greek yogurt to get a little extra protein in.  I will report back on that tomorrow!!

I have posted about this before but felt the need to revisit it again as the feeling has gotten more pronounced and more frequent.  I moved to Florida in 2007 very abruptly.  I literally woke up one day and said "Ive had enough", I packed the car, left a house FULL of furniture and drove to Florida.  I had big dreams of living in Miami on the beach (I watched CSI Miami all day every day).  But then the reality of it set in that with no job and no money saved up there was no way that I could move to Miami.  So I became friends with a girl in Central Florida and we decided to help each other out....I have been here ever since.  I like it here but it is a big college town.  There are no family like activities.  No big kid attractions unless you want to pay an arm and leg to go to Orlando or Tampa....and I still haven't made it to Miami .  I enjoy my job on the good days, but I feel stuck here as well.  No upward movement.  I started out a receptionist and worked my way up to case manager....there is really no where else to go.  I am starting back to college (online) in a few weeks, so that will keep me busy.  I am bound and determined to get my BA degree and hopefully after that work on my Masters.  I refuse to allow myself to stay in a position because I chose not to further my education.  My associates degree is great....but I need to do more.  
I decided yesterday that I would honestly be willing to relocate anywhere in the US if I found the right job!  So I started applying.  It is hard to find a job in other cities because most employers want to meet you in person.  But I had a reply back from a position in New Orleans and one in Richmond, VA.  I do not know anyone in New Orleans....but I think the city is full of character.  In Richmond I do have a friend that is a sheriff's deputy that could show me around and help me get aquainted with the area.  But I still feel that I want to test the waters, see what else is out there.  But then I think about my son....he is making friends here, he has friends at his school and loves his daycare.  I hate up uproot him but at the same time if I was able to provide a better life for him somewhere else I think it would be worth it.  The overall mentality of a lot of people here is that they are owed something from everyone.  There are a lot of people here that don't want to work and think that they don't have to work.  Jobs here don't really pay a lot of money for what you have to do and put up with.  And then there is the "guy" situation.  I kind of feel like no matter what I do as long as I am in this city....he will be a thorn in my side.....ALWAYS.  And for that reason alone I would love a new start!

Now to the weight loss stuff   I started my vegetarian low gluten way of life on this past Sunday.  And I honestly have really enjoyed it so far.  It is something new and exciting.  I also love learning about all the new style of foods that I can make and things I can try.  I have a new receipe that I am going to try this weekend:

Cheesy Zucchini Boats

 

Ingredients
2 large zucchini
3 tablespoons Italian bread crumbs, divided
1 cup shredded Italian-blend cheese
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup ricotta cheese
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper

Prep

• Preheat oven to 400°F.
• Cut zucchini in half lengthwise; scoop out seeds and pulp, leaving a 1/4-inch-thick shell. Place zucchini in baking dish.

Steps

1. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of the bread crumbs down center of zucchini halves. Combine all three cheeses with Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper. Divide mixture evenly into zucchini; sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons bread crumbs.
2. Bake 20–25 minutes or until zucchini are tender when pierced with a fork and top is golden. Serve.

 Total Time: 35 minutes  Servings: 4

CALORIES (per 1/4 recipe) 210kcal; FAT 13g; CHOL 35mg; SODIUM 620mg; CARB 9g; FIBER 1g; PROTEIN 16g; VIT A 30%; VIT C 20%; CALC 45%; IRON 6%

I found this on Publix.com from their Apron collection. I am going to tweak the ingredients a little bit and leave out the bread crumbs, I know it is a thickening agent but I am hoping it will all stick together without it.  I will probably add some cheddar cheese as well.  I will post about it come Monday. 
I have been keeping my calories down but still no movement on the scale.  So I need to step it up somehow and the only thing I can think of is with exercise LOL....who would have thought.  So I am going to do everything in my power to find the energy to take a walk after work today.  I have the food and eating thing down now I just need to add exercise.  I am driving back to Indiana on November 23....I would really like to be at goal by then....I have over a month and 7 pounds to go?  Is it possible?  I believe so, if I really push myself and stay focused.  
On a vegetarian note....did you know that there are tofu lunch meats, sausages, burgers, all kinds of stuff.  I had no idea.  Also they have gluten free chips, salsas, tortillas, soups, breads, etc.  It is amazing.

Today is my thrid day on my vegetarian low gluten diet.  And I feel AMAZING!!!!!!!  I am still slightly bloated.  And it still happens with almost every meal but no where near the discomfort and pressure that I was having before.  I also kicked the 5 Hour Energy's starting today.  I drove right past the gas station and while I wanted to stop....I didn't!  LOL  Today my eats were:

Breakfast-Cinnamon Chex w/organic soy milk
Snack-1/2 cup cottage cheese w/feta cheese
Lunch- teriyaki veggie stir fry
Snack- slice of gluten free cake and maybe some cheese
Dinner- not sure yet.  Maybe a simple salad with just romaine and feta, maybe a boiled egg....and this new AMAZING Ken's Balsimic with Honey dressing!  To die for LOL