2/11/2009, 226 lbs and close to a year since posting!

Feb 10, 2009

Things are not going as good as I had hoped.  I was certainly depressed about my weight before weight loss surgery.  Can you image the depression and guilt after having weight loss surgery and gaining weight back?  ICK!

Started out at 260, got down to 201, am not back up to 226.  On a side note, I think some of the weight gain has had to do with changing jobs in January of 2008.  I went from a standing up all day walking around job, to a sit at a computer all day job.  I'm not eating large portions at meal time but tend to SNACK all day some times and that seems to be my biggest downfall.

I've finally started addressing some of my hidden demons... the stressors that originally gave me license to eat until I was fat, fat, fat.  I'm considering having a fill put back in so I can try this again.  I just seriously HATE throwing up and so far anytime I've had any kind of fill that does anything I puke... so I can either eat an entire can of pringles or can't even wallow my own spit!  I've definitely not found the "sweet spot" they talk about.  I wish, truly wish I had had gastric bypass, but I didn't and now I have to live with the choice I made!

Laurel

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