Lillydivine

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After spending what felt like forever at 235, I finally made it to 230! WHOOT!

This past week has been really bad for me and I have not done well with food. But as of now, I am back on track. My supper was at 6pm. I ate 2 ounces of meat and cheese. Then over an hour, I drank 6 ounces of skim milk. I'm doing fine. I just really want to eat more. I feel hungry at the moment. That is what is so hard. Trying to take my mind off food. So not sure I will get 2 cups of milk in today. But I am determined. I will not fail.

Well, my crazy week didn't go very well food wise. As much as I did try, I ended up going back to my old habits of not eating and when I did, I ate too much and the foods were junk. I got so wrapped up in work and due to various things, I put in 12 hour days. I grabbed whatever was around when I had the opportunity. 

I weighed myself this morning and found I gained a pound. So now I'm back to 240. I'm so disappointed in myself, I can't stand it. :(

Before my surgery, during the seven hoops, I was told by my nut, doctor, and the psych that my tastes would change. I didn't believe them. But, darn if it isn't true! A big one is Triscuits. I never liked them because they are too dry. Now I love them and use them to help settle my stomach when I feel a bit nauseated. Another big one is sweets/sugar. It literally tastes so sweet that it turns my stomach. I had to stop drinking/eating juices, pudding, yogurt, jello. Even the protein drinks are too sweet for me. I had a chocolate chip cookie last week and it did not go well. Lol

I find myself LOVING dairy. I loved milk before, but now milk and cheese are my passion!

I don't miss pop or sweets. I admit sometimes food being cooked smells REALLY good. But, I'm OK not eating when others eat or not snacking.

This is all so new to me. A little exciting too!

I do tend to feel a little guilty when my dad takes me out to eat. I try to get kids meals or small portions. But I leave most of it and I feel like it's a waste of his money. He says it's not a problem. He's proud of me and what I am doing. Sometimes I wonder if my mom would have been proud of me. I think she would have been about the weight loss. Not so sure she would have been about the surgery tho.

Fast food doesn't appeal to me as much any more. Mostly, the idea of not cooking appeals to me. Lol I am not a cook, nor do I like to cook and it's like the family joke - me with sharp objects, starting a fire in my oven, going to the ER a couple of times for injuries while cleaning my place. Yes, it's all funny after the fact. Way after. Lol  It's also a bit scary to think that I will have to begin cooking once I hit stage 4. Right now, I grind up various cooked proteins for my meals. 

Oh and I also really like to liquidfy my fruits. For whatever reason, I really enjoy drinking them.

I am now under 240! I hit 139 this morning :) Next stop, 230!

Things are going well. I'm on stage 3, chopped foods. I'm doing between 2 and 4 ounces per meal and no snacks for the most part. I have a bed time snack. Usually, when snack times come around, I have no desire to eat. I feel full from my meal. I am focused on protein as instructed. I'm still having problems with drinking as much a I should. But I am trying really hard to do it.

I think a big test for me is coming. Next week, I'll be gone from morning until late evening. I have no real idea what to do for food. Before, I'd just grab something. Now, I have to plan all of it. Wow, this is going to be hard.

No protein shakes tho. They are so sweet that it actually makes me feel sick.

No idea what to do.

I can't believe what a great day it is. Sunny and warm. I enjoyed being outside for a bit. I'm taking it easy today. I think I tried to do too much yesterday. I'm sore today and have a little stomach ache. I was just so full of energy yesterday and didn't know what to do with myself. So I started rearranging and cleaning my kitchen. Lol

It's all over now. The surgery is done and it's been over a week. It was a rough start with some complications and I ended up in the hospital for a few days.

As of today, I'm doing great! The main pain is a stomach ache. More annoying than anything.

I'm a little confused between my stomach pain and hunger pains. You'd think I'd know if I was hungry or not, but I can't tell. Hopefully the stomach ache will go away soon. Lol

So many questions and new things happening now. My likes and dislikes are changing. I seem to do more, moving more. A little restless actually. Also, I seem to have fallen in love with tomato soup. Lol

Pretty much sums up my feelings about tomorrow.

And I am scared. Mostly of my entire life changing.