This morning I sit here and have great thoughts in my journey!

May 14, 2013

I read my blog posts and laugh.  But not really sure why!?   I know that it seems like I am always trying to refocus.  I guess that is keep on trying.  Not letting bad choices one day be a demise.  Even if there are bad choices 50% of the time.  I am working on lessoning them more and more.   Today I feel I can do it!  I know that I can!  To get to goal seems at some times the farthest thing away and like my success will not be there.   But then again... I have been successful and will continue.  Success is every day I breath and make effort and know that I will never be in the same spot I had put myself into at 654 lbs!! 

I have to know that it has been a road of ups and downs all along this journey.  Yes, I am so HAPPY!!!  It has been a lot of work and I have done it!   I can still do it!!

So, journal... you need to hang with me and pen I need to use you!  Sherrie, you need to be honest to you and yourself and not make excuse for crap!  You know when you think about the crap.... it is exactly what it is!  CRAP! 

Fuel good food into your body and burn with exercise and you will continue at some point to see numbers that you want to see! 

Just 140 calories here and 50 there... it all adds up!  Darn, why is it so easy to think that it is just this or that and that it will not all add up.   AGAIN Sherrie.... JOURNAL and keep track. 

Water, we need to like each other!  I drink you and you help me rid this fluid that I so am not liking in my body.  Salt.... you are not my friend and period you need to stop craving it!

Protein... we are going to be mixing a lot more.  You will not be left out!

Carbs... you need to runaway... ok... I am running away from you at least for a while!

Nuts and candy we are not friends so stop calling me!

Ok...

Watermelon, you tasted good this morning.  1 cup was enough.  No, I will be eating 1/2 c oatmeal with protein powder in it in about 2 hours.   I will be eating healthy and good today!  

I will be heading to my best friends house.   She is very dear to me.  I am driving her to her doctor appointment.  I love her.  She is the size I was when I started this journey.  Pretty much homebound.  One day she may be ready to dive into losing weight.  I know that she wants it but not bad enough yet to go through with the journey.  Not saying that surgery is the journey for her because it is not for everyone.  She is afraid of the surgery.  But just the desire to move more and not talking more than getting up to the side of the bed and out and back in more often.   Just small baby steps more often.  Anyhow, I will be helping her get ready for the appointment.   I once was in her shoes.  I care and love her and yes worry, but love to help her and take her to her doctor appointments.  She is after all my BESTIE!! 

I thank God for the abilities that I have regained with the loss of the weight!  My body is so much easier to move and do the things in life that I need and want to do! 

I still have not yet indoor skydived.  I was just talking to my husband about it!   I have been under the weight limit and just been waiting for the surgeries to heal so that I could do it!   I need to do this and set another goal to reach.   

Oh, I road the huge wheel in Seattle this last weekend.  I was really high and so happy that I did not freak out.  I usually do not do well with heights.   Oh, also this last weekend... I did another thing from my bucket list.  I rode the carousel at the Seattle water front.   The weight limit was 250 lbs... and I proudly got on that horse and rode away with goose bumps and all!   I did not care that I was the only adult actually riding the ride.  There were adults there holding their kids on the ride.  lol.   But hey, I was a little tiny girl the last time I say on one of those horses.  I got pictures and video. 

I always recreated a video of a pipe organ music down on the water front.  I pretended that I was playing and was dancing around.  3 1/2 years ago, I was down there with my husband, mom and son.  I was pretending that I was playing it while in my power chair with oxygen.  My husband had posted it to youtube to share it with our family and friends.   There were some people that left extremely rude comments and so he deleted it.   Now we cannot seem to find the video.   I really wish that I had it to go along with this new one. 

So this last weekend was meaning full in several things that I did!

Ok, so I need to get up and get going about this day.  Eat healthy, shower, clothes, husband to work....Besties... Husband to second job... potty dog in between, exersise.  Already got the laundry washed and dried and hung the ones out to dry that needed it.  I love to have productive days.... it really does feel good and worthy! 

I have had some days where I have been a bit down and I guess depressed although I really do not like that word... depressed.   I had not been sleeping good and also had muscle cramps so severe that I needed to take muscle relaxers.  I do not like to have to take them as they wipe me out and then I feel the need to sleep most of the day away.  

Not sure when the cramps in my legs will go away, if they ever will?  I had the issues when I was the biggest I was, although they occurred several times a day.  Now they happen sometimes but still just as severe as before.  Sometimes I will go days and days with out them... then sometimes it will be several days in a row that they happen.  I do nothing different so not sure why? they continue. 

Ok...

Good bye for now and hugs to whoever may have read this and actually gotten to the bottom of this blog!

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