Jan 31, 2013
I saw my therapist for the 3rd time earlier today. The first two times were just intake, and not much happened. Truthfully, not much happened today, either. I think my frustration came out and I felt bad. The therapist has me keeping a food log. So, I have to write down what I ate, when I ate, where I ate it and what I was feeling when I ate it.
She spent the first 10 minutes weighing me and explaining to me what a BMI is. Really? Then she went over my food log with me. She asked about the choices I made, how I felt, etc., then our time was up. WTF? I told her, "Are we just going to go over my food log each time? I can go to a nutritionist for that. I thought this was cognitive behavioral therapy?" She got defensive about it (rightly so) and explained to me that she is still trying to assess how to best help me. She can't do that if she doesn't know my patterns and my impulses. I felt bad, but hey ,I am a menstruating woman, that is a valid excuse, right? ha ha I did apologize to her.
I am just having tiny doubts about how we mesh together. Last week she said she doesn't believe in food addictions / carb addictions. Hmmmmmm, I have to tell you, that sort of disturbs me. I know not everyone believes in it, but I do. I don't use it as an excuse, but I very well do feel I need a "fix" quite a bit and need some carbs to ease my anxiety. *sigh* I don't know. Maybe that's the entire point of me going to therapy for food disorders. Maybe when it's all said and done, I won't believe in food addictions either. We'll see. I will give her an honest chance. I haven't been doing a bang up job on my own. That's for sure.
As stated before, my period showed up this week. I have eaten like crap quite a bit, using that as an excuse. My weight is back up a bit. Not too worried about because I was at 182.2 this morning. I know when my period is gone, a couple of pounds will go with it! I just need to push past and get solidly back to the 170's and beyond.
Hope everyone has had a successful week and has a wonderful weekend!!