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   I am down in the 160's now!  I weighed in at 169.6 this morning!  Yay!!  I haven't seen that number on my scale in 4 years!  I am telling ya, the intermittent fasting is the key for ME, and I am loving it.  I see Dr. Acosta in 3 weeks, so hopefully, I can get to the mid 160's by then.  I truly need to ramp up my exercising. 

Not too much to report.  I am still trying to eat as close to Primal as I can, but I do have slip-ups or unplanned eating during the week.  On the weekends, I do indulge in some non-primal foods.  So, the best explanation for my body finally shedding some weight is the fasting. 

Looks like the wedding date is set for August 22nd, and we might be making a trip to Las Vegas with some friends in late July.  So, I have many reasons to keep losing those extra pounds!  Hope everyone has a great weekend!

I will see Dr. Acosta in just 4 weeks!  I plan on continuing my IF and primal eating, so I hope and expect that he will be happy with my progress.  I was down to 171 this morning!  Soooooooo close to being in the 160's!  It IS Memorial Day weekend, but that doesn't mean I have to totally blow it.  I normally eat pretty much whatever I choose to eat on the weekends, and it hasn't hurt me too badly.  I just need to keep it a bit on the lighter side or make sure I limit it to two days instead of the 3 day weekend.  ha ha

My period started last Sunday, and it's been a complete bitch of a period.  I can't complain too much.  This time last year, I was worried because my periods weren't coming and I was in a constant state of PMS.  My diabetic doc put me on Metformin to try and regulate my hormones, and it really did the trick.  Love her!  So, my  periods come on time every month once again. 

My fiance almost has my engagement ring paid off.  I can't wait to have it sized and wear it!  We are planning on a simple justice of the peace ceremony in August, and then a reception at our house that weekend.  That will be here before we know it, so I better start planning! 

I hope everyone takes some time remember the reason WHY we are celebrating/honoring Memorial Day.  I will be thinking about my grandfather, who fought in WWII.  I just lost him a couple of weeks ago.  His generation is/was such an amazing group of people.  I don't know if we will ever experience anything like it again in this country. 

Please have a safe and wonderful weekend!!

I haven't updated in a few weeks, as life has been busy.  My grandfather passed away, and I traveled to Texas, then to Arkansas for his final resting spot.  He was such a brilliant man.  He has several patents in the oilfield and was able to revolutionize the way drilling was done in the early 70's.  I will miss him.  He had a long productive life, all anyone can ask for. 

When I found out that my grandfather was going to be placed in hospice, and during the week long trip, I ate horribly.  I also get very constipated when I travel.  So, I was up on the scale a bit before I left, at 175.6, but up even more when I got back home, at 182.3!!  Yikes!!  Almost a 10 pound gain from my last post!

I am happy to report that I started my IF and Primal eating this week and I am already down to 173.2!  Yay!!  I am sooooooo hoping to see the 160's by next week.  If I could get down to the low 160's for my appointment with Dr. Acosta on June 21st, I will be ecstatic!

Even though IF seems to be working for me, very well, I realize it's not for everyone.  I can't even imagine doing this without having my sleeve or some other type of WLS as a tool.  I do get hungry with my sleeve, unfortunately.  However, I know my hunger is much lower than it would be without it. So, if anyone has regain or slow weight loss, it might be worth looking in to.

My eating has been pretty good this week.  I even made a homemade pizza with cauliflower crust.  I have to say it was DELICIOUS but a pain in the butt to make.  Not sure we will have it very often!  ha ha

Hope everyone is FINALLY getting some spring and warm weather....have a great rest of the week!

I think I am on week 4 or 5 of doing the intermittent fasting (IF).  My eating window is between 3pm and 9pm Monday through Friday.  I eat whenever I want on the weekends, and pretty much have been eating very lax on the weekends, too. 

What I have noticed is that my sleeve seems to have shrunk a bit, my blood sugar numbers are great and I am actually seeing a drop on the scale again!  I have lost about 7 pounds this month, and for ME that is stupendous!! 

I weighed in at 173.4 this morning! 

I want to be down in the low 160's by June 21st, when I see Dr. Acosta again.  I think that is totally doable! 

I have also been trying to stick to primal eating, and during the week, I do pretty well.  I have a few snacks or hiccups that don't exactly fit in to primal eating, especially on the weekends, but for the most part I am doing well.  I really think the weight loss has more to do with IF, but unless I stopped doing it, I wouldn't know for sure.  I don't want to stop. 

I have been lax about getting my exercise in.  I need to get back in to the habit.  I think that will accelerate the weight loss even more.  After almost a year of not working hard at my weight loss, this feels wonderful!

We are having friends over for dinner tomorrow.  I plan on grilling up some fish for fish tacos.  Yum!!  Hope everyone has a great and safe weekend!

I typed up a very long (and of course brilliant) blog on Friday, but alas, when I went to post, it gave me an error and I lost the entire blog!    Needless to say, I was too disgusted that day to re-write the entire thing. 

Okay, on to my updates. 

I decided to dump the eating disorder therapist.  I really wasn't feeling a connection with her, and knew I needed to just move on.  I know that I still have issues with food, so, if I feel the need to try therapy once again, I will just try out another therapist. 

For about 3-4 weeks now I have been doing my best to stick to "primal eating".  This way of eating is mainly just taking in meats, veggies and small amounts of fruit.  I am sure  many have heard of "Paleo" diet or eating, it's pretty much the same concept, but with dairy being allowed and a bit more fruit.  I am just not willing to give up half and half in my coffee and a bit of cheese here and there.  ha ha

I tend to eat primal most of the week, with kind of letting loose on the weekends.  I could definitely tell that I felt better, staying away from processed carbs is always good for me.  However, I wasn't seeing a big loss on the scale. I did notice several "primal" followers on a blog were talking about intermittent fasting.  Hmmmmm

My son (he is 21) started intermittent fasting (IF) last summer.  There are many ways to go about it, and he decided to give himself an eating window of 6-8 hours.  The other 16-18 hours in a day were fasting.  I was skeptical when he told me he was embarking on this.  It just sounded a bit unhealthy.  However, he proved me wrong.  He didn't have a lot of weight to lose, but he did lose quite a bit. 

Seeing that other people were trying this with success, I decided to give it a whirl.  I honestly didn't think I could do it.  I decided to give it a whirl 2 weeks ago.  I started on a Monday, of course.  ha ha  I brought a couple of snacks with me to work, JUST IN CASE.  My plan was to not eat anything until 3pm, and my eating window would close at 9pm. 

The first day wasn't too bad.  I made it.  So, I decided to incorporate this IF Monday through Friday, and not have an eating window on the weekends.  The first 2 weeks have been very successful.  I am still tweaking it, as I know I am not getting enough protein in, but my calories are way down. 

The surprising thing for me has been my blood sugar.  I take Metformin, and I worried that going that long without eating might make my blood sugar drop too low.  However, every time I check my blood sugar, it's been great.  Sometimes it's in the high 70's, but mostly it's been in the 80's and 90's.  After eating dinner, my blood sugar is either just below or just a tad above 100.  So, that's been a great benefit! 

I am down to 174.6, which is my lowest weight with the sleeve! 

I have been letting myself have crap on the weekends, which sees the scale go up a couple of pounds, but they have been disappearing pretty quickly, usually by Tuesday.  It's pretty much water weight from carbs, etc. 

This last weekend, I noticed that my blood sugar numbers were STILL very good, even after eating some crap.  So, I am thinking my body likes the IF.  It makes life easier, as I don't have to have worry about breakfast and packing a lunch, etc.  I just come to work and drink coffee and water. 

A big part of this journey is finding what works for YOU.  Doing IF has even seemed to have shrunk my sleeve a little bit.  So, for now, I am going to say this is working for ME,  I will stick with it while it's working.  It's great seeing the scale go down again!  Hope everyone has a great week!

Checking in!  I am still working on my second job of taking care of me.  I am get better at it, have a few hiccups here and there, but it's a long-term thing.  This is not a seasonal job. 

My scale is up a bit.  Partly with my eating over the weekend, and partly because I know my period will be here any time now.  I weighed in at 180.2 this morning.  I am not worried about it, as I am pretty much doing what I should be doing.  I took some time off over the weekend.  That's okay.  Life happens. 

We celebrated the fact that we are totally moved out of the old house and gave the keys back.  We left it in better shape than it was when we moved in, so I was relieved to finally be done with that.  It was a great weekend and we got a lot accomplished. 

So, for the most part, I am trying to stick to the Primal form of eating.  I am trying to stay away from highly processed anything, even if it is supposedly "healthy".  I also am trying to avoid sugar and grains like the plague.  The exceptions I am allowing myself are the gluten-free crackers I have and homemade popcorn. 

This week, I am also throwing in some intermittent fasting.  My son did this last year and had great success with it.  Some of the "Primal" folks were also getting in to it.  So, my eating window each day is from 3pm to 9pm.  Yesterday, was my first day trying this.  I do have coffee and sf-drinks throughout the day.  It's an experiment.  I can guarantee that if I didn't have my sleeve to help fight back hunger, this would have been nearly impossible for me.  Luckily, I have a tool built for this! ha ha

I also got my lazy butt out yesterday and did my 3 mile walk at lunchtime.  It was so gorgeous outside, I was so happy that I went.  Ahhhhhh, feels good to have a plan feel back in control again.  Hope everyone has a great week!!

 So, my last entry I talked about how I had a bit of an epiphany about myself.    I concluded that my work ethic is pretty strong and I manage to drag myself in to work no matter how tired or achy I am.  I don't let small problems get in the way of me getting in to work.  However, with my eating, I seemed to let the least little thing throw me off of my eating plan.

I knew I was ready to change that, last week, just needed a bit of inspiration.  I started reading more about "Primal" eating plans.  I liked that better than "Paleo", as you are still allowed some dairy and a bit more fruit.  I had read about all of it before, and I think planned on trying it when I had my band.  BUT, my band wouldn't allow solid proteins a good percentage of the time, so it was just too hard to stick to anything while banded.

I doubly knew that I was ready to change when I decided to switch my eating up mid-week.  Not the usual, "I'll start on Monday..." bull crap. 

I went to the store and stocked up on fruit, salad makings, and some chicken.  In advance, I decided that I would allow myself gluten-free crackers that I had in the pantry and popcorn.  Those two items would be the only "iffy" things allowed in my new way of eating, except for VERY special occasions.  I also decided that I wasn't going to limit my fruit intake.  I made these decisions, knowing that if I limited myself TOO much, I would never stick to any kind of plan. 

I had amazing will power that first few days.  I guess it just goes to show that when you are ready for a change, and  have given in to the change absolutely, it's much easier to accomplish your goals.   I definitely dealt with the carb withdrawal.  I had a low level headache for 3 days, and felt lethargic and sleepy.  I think I am on the other side of the withdrawal symptoms now, as my cravings have diminished greatly, along with my hunger. 

I seem to be MAINLY only craving good, wholesome foods.  I really do want to try and stay away from any kind of Franken-food.  I want my body to run efficiently and with the right nutrients that it knows how to break down and use. 

I am down a few pounds so far.  I weighed in at 176 this morning.  So, I now have a second job.  I have to be just as dedicated to "showing up" for this job as I do my first job.  I can have SOME time off, but as with any job, not much time off when you first start.  You have to build up some momentum and prove you understand and can perform your job well.  Me?  I am working towards being employee of the month!

It's been a while since I updated.  Life has been busy, and not much on the weight loss front has changed. My weight is still unknown.  tee-hee.  I am guessing it's right around 180 or so.  I am in the midst of moving to a different house, so haven't been able to weigh myself or even cook a decent meal.  Things will settle down in a few weeks.

 I did see my therapist yesterday, and might have gained a bit of insight on how to tackle some of my head issues.  I give myself more credit for coming up with this, as I was just talking to her and I verbalized it.  I guess sometimes just thinking out loud, either with another person, or to yourself, helps.

I was telling her that I am in control in so many areas of my life; I just want to be controlled when it comes to my eating.  My example was the fact that I woke up that day DEAD tired....we are moving in to a bit larger house and worked all day moving stuff.  I went to bed late, so I woke up with a headache.  I had a ton of stuff to do with both house and would have LOVED to just call in and let my boss know I wasn't going to make it. 

However, my sense of responsibility didn't allow it.  No matter how miserable I was, I got up, showered, got dressed and drove in to work.  I have always behaved this way when it comes to jobs I have had.  I rarely call in sick or take unplanned time off.  I just feel it's important that people can rely on me, and I feel good about keeping my obligations. 

Sooooo.......

If I can make hard choices and force myself to be loyal to my employer, why would it be so hard to be loyal to MYSELF and my HEALTH by making some hard choices.

When it comes to giving in to carbs, I really don't try my hardest to abstain.  Not like I do with other things in my life.  Of course if I don't show up to work half of the time I am out of job.  If I don't make my car payment, I am stuck without a vehicle.  There are hard consequences for not keeping my end of the bargain when it comes to my job and paying bills.  There are also consequences for not keeping to my eating plan...but, my brain isn't making the connection and my heart isn't sensing the parallel.  Why?

Could it be that work and bills are obligations and promises I made to others, while keeping on track with eating is ONLY a promise I made to little ol' me?  Hmmmmmmm

My last post was all about loving yourself.  Well, if I truly loved myself, wouldn't I want to be loyal to myself and my needs?  If I can shove aside an aching head/body to make it to my job, can't I also shove aside the donuts some co-worker brought in?  Yes, I can.  Yes, I will. 

From now on, I have a second job...that job is getting myself back to a size 10 or below.  I can't call in sick.  I can't take vacation time....it's now time to get to work!!

 Happy Valentine's Day

I have to say that I am lucky to have someone very special in my life to enjoy Valentine's Day with.  He showers me with love and affection every day, not just commercial holidays.  However, I probably wouldn't have attracted someone this worthy if I didn't love myself. 

Yes, I bemoan, and get down on myself for not being able to stick to my weight-loss plan, but I still forgive and love myself.  It wasn't always this way.  Before I ever had my LapBand in in 2008, I weighed over 260 lbs.  I truly was a defeated, lost person.  My health wasn't that great, I let others use and abuse me and my future just didn't seem that bright. 

Having the courage to make major changes and undergo WLS was a big turning point for me. It signaled that I was ready to start improving my spot in life instead of feeling like a victim from it.  Change can be painful.  Change isn't always what we expected.  Yet, change is what I needed. 

The last 5 years I have  had my share of change.  I ended my marriage, lost my house, lost a few people I thought were my friends, along the way.  On the positive side of change:

• I have lost 100 lbs (although had a bit of regain, so 80 lbs lost at this point)
• I have discovered short skirts and heels
• I no longer allow others to treat me badly or with disrespect
• I no longer worry if I can fit in a booth or any other chair
• I shop in the "normal" sized sections of clothing stores
• My health is really pretty good
• I have developed real friendships, based on mutual respect
• I have had the courage to step up my skills at work and saw myself promoted twice after WLS
• I have an optimistic outlook on my future

None of these things, even WLS, would not have happened, if I hadn't loved myself enough.  Most of you reading this also loved yourself to have WLS and improve your lot in life......keep loving and respecting yourself.  That is the best gift you can give yourself. 

On a side note, went to see the therapist again on Tuesday.  We talked about the  last session and she wanted to know how I felt about it.   I told her that I might have sounded harsh, but I was truly feeling that just going over my food log wasn't going to change my behavior.  However, I also told her that I understood that she was trying to see my patterns so she could better assess how to help me change my behavior. 

She then acknowledged that my experience and knowledge do make me more advanced than her regular patients and she is going to keep that in mind and not be so elementary with me. 

For that session, we kind of came away with the idea that I end up obsessing over the foods that I tell myself are off-limits.  SO, as a one week experiment, I will follow my plan of eating mainly protein, but nothing is off-limits as long as I eat what is on my plan FIRST.  So, we'll see how that works for me. 

I am still not 100% sure, this lady is the right therapist for me, but I am willing to give her a chance.  I can't say how my weight is this week.  My scale suddenly showed a very big drop of 7 pounds.  I weighed in at 173, BUT, I don't trust it.  This happened once last fall, and when the scale was moved to sweep and mop, those pounds suddenly reappeared.    ha ha  But, I enjoy seeing that lower number, so I haven't bothered to move the scale to see if that will make it change.  ha ha

Have a great rest of the week and remember to love yourself today!!

I saw my therapist for the 3rd time earlier today.  The first two times were just intake, and not much happened.  Truthfully, not much happened today, either.  I think my frustration came out and I felt bad.  The therapist has me keeping a food log.  So, I have to write down what I ate, when I ate, where I ate it and what I was feeling when I ate it. 

She spent the first 10 minutes weighing me and explaining to me what a BMI is.  Really?  Then she went over my food log with me.  She asked about the choices I made, how I felt, etc., then our time was up.  WTF?  I told her, "Are we just going to go over my food log each time?  I can go to a nutritionist for that.  I thought this was cognitive behavioral therapy?"   She got defensive about it (rightly so) and explained to me that she is still trying to assess how to best help me.  She can't do that if she doesn't know my patterns and my impulses.    I felt bad, but hey ,I am a menstruating woman, that is a valid excuse, right?  ha ha  I did apologize to her. 

I am just having tiny doubts about how we mesh together.  Last week she said she doesn't believe in food addictions / carb addictions.  Hmmmmmm, I have to tell you, that sort of disturbs me.  I know not everyone believes in it, but I do.  I don't use it as an excuse, but I very well do feel I need a "fix" quite a bit and need some carbs to ease my anxiety.  *sigh* I don't know.  Maybe that's the entire point of me going to therapy for food disorders.  Maybe when it's all said and done, I won't believe in food addictions either.  We'll see.  I will give her an honest chance.  I haven't been doing a bang up job on my own.  That's for sure. 

As stated before, my period showed up this week.  I have eaten like crap quite a bit, using that as an excuse.  My weight is back up a bit.  Not too worried about  because I was at 182.2 this morning.  I know when my period is gone, a couple of pounds will go with it!  I just need to push past and get solidly back to the 170's and beyond. 

Hope everyone has had a successful week and has a wonderful weekend!!