Over 80 lbs lost..

Aug 10, 2016

This morning I woke up and weighed in. I now weigh 278.9, which means since surgery I have lost 81.1 lbs. That's 100+ lbs since I went to my Consultation last May. I have to take pictures and depend on peoples reactions to believe it tho. I know I have lost a lot but my body does and doesn't feel like it, if you know what I mean. I still feel like me. I still look like me. But I also went from 4X-3X to 1X clothes and can jog down the stairs now. People see me and say I look like I lost 1/2 of myself. I still have over 100 lbs to go before I hit my "goal" and I don't feel like I deserve the praise. Is that normal? I guess that doesn't matter, I have never been very normal.

I keep shocking myself. I walk past a mirror and automatically look, but there are times when I have to do a double take. I can't believe that is me. In clothes, I look like a different person, but naked, I feel I look the same. It's like being Bipolar. Sometimes I feel amazing. Stunning. Like I am on top of the World and look like a model. And then there are times when I feel like I have hardly lost any weight and stare at all the naked giggliness in the mirror in despair. It's exciting and sooooo frustrating!!

My family thinks it's funny. Like I should KNOW how good I look and shouldn't be shocked at the fact that I am losing weight. 'Duh Melody, you had surgery, OF COURSE you are losing weight.' I try to explain that I weigh less than what I did in High School. I am wearing clothes that I have never fit before and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. I still see how much weight I have to lose so it's hard to look at what I have lost so far. I am not even 1/2 way there. 

After saying all that, here comes the bipolarness of it. When I take pictures now and compare them to a year or more ago, I LOOK AMAZING!

Anyway, I wanted to post since it's been awhile. Really had nothing new to say but since I went over 80 lbs lost, I thought it was time to update. My next goal is to get to 270 lbs by our Lake Chelan vacation on 9/3/16. It's less than 10 lbs now, I can do it! 

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