I survived butt birth!!!

Apr 06, 2010

Seriously....I will be in the enquirier next week!!!!! LMAO......Sewiously....I am 3 mo out, & last week, I never even noticed, that I was not pooping. Sat, I thought about it, & it was day 4.. So, some cause for concern. I started getting belly pains (felt like belly) so we got home sat night,I took 2 dulcolax, & drank miralax. I would push,& groan,& grunt, repeat. NOTHING. BUT. It was there. I could feel it. Like I had a neighbor down there, thats how big it was.....I 1/2 slept fitfully thru sat night, Sun AM @ 5am, I woke, up,thinking, this is it!!!! So I repeated. Nothing. (I had to work Sun) So.......I go to walmart enroute to work, & get fleet suppositories, & 2 pack big enema, stool softener, & fiber. (the lady at the counter never did say a word...I am sure I looked AWFUl, I was in PAIN) I get to work, wondering exactly how this is going to work, cause the box says u gotta either doggie style it, or lay on the side. Well, IM not laying on the floor in the bathroom at work.  but wait......I think.....could it be....I think its coming....without the enema help!!! WOO HOO!!!! I Repeat. Nothing. Nada. So,I put on the gloves I bought to put in the enema, & I ***feel back there*** & sure enough, the head of a 5 yr old. Seriously. 1/2 in, 1/2 out. But not moving. I did not know what to do. I sucked in, trying to pull it back up. Nothing. So, with tears in my eyes, worried that I would have to crawl out to get an ambulance (I went to the front of the building which is mt on the weekends) So, with tears in my eyes, I shove that enema thru the poop, & squeezeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. UGH. It burned....BUT, the second,I got about 1/2 the bottle mt, I felt it, so i sat down, & it just slid out, like a dang Xmas Goose. Now for the gross part. I couldnt help myself. I amost felt bad for the lil feller. I looked at it, & it was literally the size of soda can, & 7 inches long. If it were a penis, I would be proud of it. I still have the gloves on,& miraculously,have NOT made any mess.....I couldnt believe it!!!! well, I thought too soon,. I turned around to finish, & slipped on the enema liquid that poured out as I was trying to shoot it up in there, & fell. The enema bottle,,which was **perched** on the hand rail, fell down the front of my shirt (now remember where it was just a couple of minutes ago) thats right ladies & gents. POOP all down the front of my shirt. I was so excited about this. LUCKILY, I had my gym bag at work, so I put on my shirt I use to work out in (it didnt smell as bad as the current shirt!!!) & got cleaned up. I managed to get back to my desk, but it STILL hurts to wipe, & walking is a bit stiff still.   So!!! Now, I take fiber gummies every day,& a stool softener. so far, no more issues,I have been getting out lil rabbit turds.... WOOOOOO,is all I have to say on that.   

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