Hey, remember me?

Apr 28, 2014

I haven't been on here in a shameful amount of time...  But yesterday was my 7 year 'surgiversary', and I've been reflecting on so much that has changed in my life since receiving the gift of WLS.

As I shared in the last post from January 2013, I have since been divorced.  We were able to do the whole thing surprisingly amicably, and our relationship as NON-spouses is better than it's been in many years.  Maybe a lot of that is because I can just say 'goodbye' when our conversations turn unpleasant.  But the 'kids' (17 & 21) seem to have taken it pretty well, and overall it's been a blessing to be released from such an unhappy, toxic relationship. 

Yes, I've gained about 10 pounds throughout the whole ordeal, but I'm not terribly concerned.  The winter also sucked, and I hear a lot of people saying they've put on a few simply because it was too blasted COLD this year to get outside and be active!  I KNOW that's been the case with me, in addition to some stress eating.  But I also know I can - and WILL - take it off now that the dust has pretty much settled. 

Through the whole process, I decided to sell the house.  It ended up being a short sale, but whatever - I really didn't want the responsibility of being a homeowner at this stage.  I am renting a 3 bd 2.5 ba townhome just a few miles from where I used to live, and really enjoy the peace of mind that comes with having a caretaker to call whenever something goes wonky.  Sure, I have to put up with things not being just how I might like them to be (crappy paint job, leaky faucets, a weak dishwasher, yada yada yada...)  But, it's all fine for the time being.  My son moved with me - we've been incredibly good 'roommates' ever since his dad moved out of the house last year.  My daughter moved back in with us in February - she had been living with her bf for 9 months, but wasn't getting anywhere with her life.  I think things are finally starting to click with her, she's starting to realize she has to put effort into her life to get any benefit out of it.  But I'll say no more about that for fear of jinxing anything!

I'm still working the hobby job, enjoying and very grateful for it.  Oh sure, it cuts into what COULD be 'down time', but it pays opposite weeks of my full-time job, and I really like having $ coming in every week.  Besides, if any of the old farts I sell lottery tickets to ever wins big, I'll have me a sugar daddy for sure!!

As for 'down time'?  WTH is that???  My life has become extremely busy! In addition to working about 55-60 hours/week, I have been dating - enjoying the hell out of it, but frustrated at the same time.  Seems like when it rains, it pours - I find myself with more than I'm comfortable with!  It's insanely flattering and encouraging, while at the same time very confusing.  There are two men in particular that I've been getting to know over the past couple of months.  Both seem sincerely interested in me.  They are very different men, and I find myself annoyingly attracted to both of them.  I never, in my entire life, could have envisioned myself in this position, but I feel like I need to choose.  Which feels unbelievably arrogant.  And I don't even know how to make such a choice, much less how to end things with one of them.  It's both exciting, and devastating.  Me?  Possibly hurt someone??  I'm so much more familiar being on the receiving end of hurt, it's been deeply ingrained in me over the course of my life.

I guess it's a good problem to have.  WLS made it possible.

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