A Giggle for the Girls

Jun 26, 2009

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity  1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.See If They Slow Down.  2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!  3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana. 6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.  7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,with a serious face.  8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is'To Go'.  9. Sing Along At The Opera. 10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.  11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'  12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards theParking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS..  Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.It's Called...THERAPY

One for the girls

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.

Please no age spots, Please no gray.
And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done.
 
Five tips for a woman....

1.        It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2.        It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3.        It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You.
4.        It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5.        It is important that these four men don't know each other!

Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

*Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!!!

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