bummed out

Jan 22, 2018

I'm a little down in the dumps this week. I only managed to lose 2lbs and my goal for the past two weeks was 5. I guess I should be happy that I did lose and not gain, however I am slightly disappointed in myself I had a slip up and I am back on track now. I am in it to win it 100%

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My 2 Week Goal

Dec 27, 2017

These past two weeks I have grown I think, I have managed to keep myself on track with no sweets up until christmas eve baking lol. I was the baker and tested a cookie or three but somehow managed to get myself right back on track with eating right again. This morning I went for my weigh in and guess what yall??? I lost 9.6 LBS and I am making a promise to myself that I will never ever in my life see 457lbs ever again. I feel if I can manage to write down what I eat, and take pics and post them to my IG of what I consume I will keep myself accountable. so my next goal for this coming two weeks is 5lbs I wanted it to be realistic, I don't want to set it for another 10lbs and not be able to lose it and be completely bummed out about it. 

 

New year new me I guess is the right term for the next two weeks.

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My truths

Dec 12, 2017

     This past year has been a real drag for me, and I have gone threw so much that I would not wish any of it upon my enemies (don't have any for the record!) but today out of all days it took me crying in front of a total stranger who is paid to listen to my bullshit without judgement that I have found some scary yet emotionally hurtful truths about myself. 

  1. I am a person who self sabatoges, I have worked out for a week and when I think what is the point I give up and go back to my same routine.
  2. I am addicted to food.
  3. I have an unhealthy relationship with food, food is my comfort when my husband and my kids should be that for me. 
  4. My tool didn't fail me I failed my tool and though I have never placed blame on my tool I kick myself all the time when I think about how wonderful I was doing before regain. To be a paitent who was nearing 500lbs with a food addiction and not mentally right with my eating habits I manged to drop 150 pounds before a year mark. My surgical team was impressed and so was I.  I hate to let people down and that is what I did, but I mainly let myself down.

So there is 19 days left of this month and year and I am going to stick to basics the next two and half weeks and prove to myself that I got this.. that I can drop the weight. My new years promise to myself and to my children is to take care of myself. They need me and I need them. I'm not a bad mom I am just a mom that is having a rough year. A mom that needs to take a deep breathe and learn to cope a new way. I don't have to bottle things up and eat my emotions. There is so much to live for and so much life I have left. 

Time to get busy living instead of being busy dying!

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30 Day Goal Plan

Nov 16, 2017

I have been putting in some serious thought on how I can possibly make the necessary changes to feel proud of myself and make my surgical team feel like I am really in it to win it. I have recently been in search for a buddy to keep me accountable, but in the mean time I am going to rely on my husband to be my support system. He has agreed to keep me in line and on track, and eat the way I am eating. No soda, no bread, no rice, no pasta. Going back to protein shakes, and watching what I eat seriously. Gaining 30 pounds in a short three months is not working for me. I need to prove to myself that I can do this and be the success I was before children. So the next 30 days I plan to challenge myself with being more active and doing an easy workout challenge. 

Goals:

  1. Get 30 mins of exercise in
  2. Get Protein in
  3. Get 64oz of water in
  4. Journal
  5. Love myself more each day
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a long 5 years

Nov 13, 2017

I am coming close to being six years post op VSG and I can't help but feel as if I am a major failure. I know my tool is only as good as I am and if not more. in the past three years I have had two babies and put on all the weight I had lost my first year back on. Now I am trying to prove my worth with my surgical team and I am failing. I have recently tried KETO and I guess that is not for everyone or I am doing something completely wrong that within in a month time I have gained 10lbs. I feel as if my surgical team doubts that I have changed my eating habits but it is what it is. 

My team feels that I should have the bypass to correct my GERD, and my hiatal hernia but of course in order to do so I need to prove to them that I have changed my eat habits and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. I am thankful for another chance I truly am I just need to get myself together. I have an appointment to talk with my teams behavioral therapist. 

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Hard decisions

Jan 16, 2013

I have come to the fork in the road, and deciding to go down one path and stay the course is on my heart, but my mind is saying take the other road and be done with this whole thing.. I am thinking that is what I need to do. I am giving up for now and If I gain weight so be it, if I lose weight so be it as well.. 

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Almost 10 months

Nov 01, 2012

I am almost 10 months post-op. I didn't get weighed last month for my 9 months out. So much has been going on that I did not get a chance to so. I have not been losing weight how I have been losing the first couple of months and I know that is my own fault. I however hope to get back on track after my electric and things are back on. I refuse to drink my protein shakes without it being a little cold.  Sandy has put me back a few weeks so far, and I am hoping that things get back on track. 

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Almost 7 months

Aug 04, 2012

 I have a few more weeks till I have hit my 7 month mark. I have lost a total of 103lbs so far and I am super excited. However I feel that I am not losing how I should be losing. My WLS team says I am right on target with weight loss but I do not feel that way to honest. How do I get myself from not feeling this way? I know I have been struggling with getting my protein in and hopefully If I do that, I will see the weight come off in greater amounts then just 11lbs a month... they say I should at least be dropping 20lbs a month and that seems a little odd to be honest but hey they are professionals!

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Happy today

May 17, 2012

 Today I woke up proud to be who I am. It has been a first in a very long time. I am four months out from surgery and it's been taking awhile to adjust to things but I am actually doing it. Thank you Dr. Kwon for helping me get my life back in order... So yesterday I went to the Dr. and I got weighed I am down 84lbs in 4months how crazy is that. I am so happy! Hoping to have made my personal goal of 100lbs when my birthday comes in a short three weeks. but if I don't get there at least I'm still losing and I will not let it bother me. I am trying to stay on track with food and all that but trying to eat and drink is hard.... there certainly was not a list or paper on how you would adjust lol... but all in all I am starting to become happy with the decision I have made towards a better life..Yay Me!!!!!
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Finally

Dec 12, 2011

Well the time has finally came for me, it has been a long road but thank god I finally have a surgery date. I was going to have it on the sixth but I had some set backs... now I am going to have it on the 18th of Jan. I'm trying not to get too excited because I don't want any set backs down the road. 
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About Me
Middletown, NY
Location
75.9
BMI
VSG
Surgery
01/17/2012
Surgery Date
Sep 27, 2010
Member Since

Friends 45

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