Beyond Bariatrics - Mental Health and Well being

Mar 22, 2018

Well, it has been quite a journey. Lapband in 2008, hated it and wanted it out within 6 months. I never knew what would get stuck or when. I threw up on a regular basis and when food when actually go down and stay dwon, I ate...and ate..and gave no thought to my plan but to finally satisfy hunger, cravings and emotions that came with the lapband, but also life. I was not successful with weight loss, dropping only about 20 lbs which I gained and lost over and over. All the while, I sought out therapy. I wanted someone who really understood my issues and had the skills to work with me. Yes, there were eating disorder specialists but no one who truly understood bariatrics and I felt lost. Simultainiously, I was becomming a therapist and looked forward to the day, I could provide that support to others. Finally in 2016, I did it. I had insurance and an incrdible surgeon who removed the lapband..Then came the decision. Gastic sleeve, bypass, nothing??? I had to heal up due to the severe scar tissue but after a few months, I decided on the sleeve. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my sleeve but it wasn't the answer for the changes I needed to make. I lost about 10 lbs before surgery, and 20 after, within a 3 month time span. I was the slowest loser. While others were logging 5-7 weight loss in a week, I was logging 2lbs. It was overwhleming and frustrating because OUR bodies are not the same. Not the same to each other or as we age. However, I still loved my sleeve. I loved the feeling of fullness and sataity after eating. I didn't miss the processed carbs and knew I needed to exercise more. By month 3 I was working too jobs, 2 kids and a home. But I joined the gym and got a trainer. I lost a few more lb but I also cecame much more hungry..Working out can do that.. At the end of November, I had an injury to my groin on the left side. It was horrible. It became hard to walk, much less work out. So I saw an orthopedic specialist. After taking xrays she came back to describe my Congential Hip Dysplsia...Ummmm what?? I have a deformed spine and vertabre but one would think that after all the MRI's and xrays of my spine, someone would have noticed a deformity of my hips.. Well, that led to more issues. My workouts became minimal and I had no access to a pool. Aftrer joining a Hip Dysplsia group and needing now a cane to walk from time to time, I founf out that a total hip replacement was the way to go for long term success. So thejourney began and my wieght stayed the same. Chronic pain hit and frankly, I didn't care about food, my body or much else. I just wanted to walk without pain. First surgeon turned my down then I had a series of 3 car accidents in 4 months. None were my fault, two cars totalled and my body broken. Now in a wheel chair or walker, Oh and did I mention the one medicaiton that could help is Motrin but being sleeved, well you know. I lost my job, my income, my mobility and my freedom. I suffered daily and again my focus on wieght loss was not in the forefront of my mind...Well, that's not exactly true. It is always there, but I push it back. The shame, lack of care or concern..so on and so on. I also knew that people half my size suffered just the same, so it wasn't my weight. It was the shredded cartilage, the arthritis, the deformity and injuries. My neck was damaged and my arms suffered that consequence. My hweel chair was broken in the last accident and I was left barely leaving my home. I had Neck fusion in September and fianlly, after 3 doctors, got my new hip in December. I am on the mend physically and emtionally. I continue to provide therapy online and am looking forward to re-gaining my way in my Bariatric life and weight loss journey. I need to preserve the new hip I have. I am back on the plan and look forward to re-connecting to all aspects of my life. I am happy to be a part of this group and hope to be a vendor at an event inthe future. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this..

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Mar 22, 2018
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