pjordan
I am 5 years out from surgery. I am down 160lbs. and keeping it off. My life is so much different now.
I was always overweight even as a child. My parents' nasty divorce was devastating for me at age 10. As the oldest child, most of the responsibility fell on me to take care of the younger ones.
Within months, my mother remarried. They had two more children together. My stepfather was very abusive in every way imaginable. My mother knew but was terrified of him. He was running from the law, so we lived in cars and tents much of the time.
Amazingly, school was my refuge and where I did well even though we were transient. After High School graduation, I worked for the Hartford Insurance Company. I travelled for the company, training new employees in coding and rating policies.
Four years later, I met and married my husband. We just celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary last month. He was already in the Navy when we met. I gave up my job to be wherever he was stationed. Our first daughter was born by emergency c-section, one week after his ship deployed. When he came home, she was nine months old. Thankfully, he was on shore duty when our second daughter was born two years later.
Military families are near and dear to my heart because only they could know and understand how hard that lifestyle is. Even with spouse groups and other military friends, it is extremely lonely. Your heart aches for your loved one and their safety. Wherever you go, you see other families sharing memories that you seldom or never will have. The important events most people take for granted are so precious and often attended alone. I constantly pray for them. Through it all, God blessed us with good health and a strong, loving family. And as tough as it was, the military taught us so many things and made us stronger.
Unfortunately, I let all the distractions of loneliness, finances, moving often, and being wife, mother, mechanic, nurse, teacher, household repairman, gardener, ombudsman for the submarine force, and being a single parent most of the time keep me from receiving the peace and joy that comes from trusting in God's love.
Instead, I turned to food for comfort. It was always there and numbed me from feeling much of anything. I took care of everybody and everything but me. It is heartbreaking to hear stories of people who have such self-loathing because I never did. I often felt sorry for myself but also felt that I was a good person no matter what the outward appearance. I always tried to do the best with what I had, even if I had to work harder at it. The Bible says "love others as yourself", so if you can love others so much, why not you?!
In 2005, we took our family (including grandchildren), to Disney World. The only way I could get around was on an electric scooter. I was mortified when I could not fit on the ride at Epcot. People were laughing at me and being very cruel with hand gestures about my size.
I had my surgery in April of 2006. The Lord blessed me with a speedy recovery, lots of support from family, and rapid weight loss. It wasn't easy by any means, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. Life has changed drastically for me in a good way. I still have severe arthritis in my hips and knees because of the previous weight but even that is better. I am much happier and more active.
In 2009, we decided to take another family trip to Disney World. I told my husband that, if I did nothing else while I was there, I was DETERMINED to go on the ride at Epcot. I EASILY fit on the ride. When I got off the ride, as the tears of joy ran down my face, my husband shouted "YOU DID IT"!!!
I will never forget that day. It motivates me still to NEVER give up.
You have to believe in yourself and not let all the negative influences stop you. The only failure is not trying! God bless you all and keep the faith!
