weird

Oct 05, 2016

Today it seems surreal. i mean i know its coming, it is all i have thougth about day in and day out for months. every day thinking about the bright new shiney future i have ahead of me. 

but today i thought, with just a sliver of doubt."what if i change my mind?" I mean what if, at the eleventh hour i can;t go through with it. i have talked to people who have made it throught the vettign process and then backed out at the last minute. for things as inconsequential as not being able to gulp water anymore. or teh vanity of too many scars. they all sound like excuses. but really will i fall into that myself will i find a way out at the last moment?

i want this so badly. i read about it dream about it it is all i think about. but still, 

am i really ready?

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