Spoke to someone at work about my surgery

Aug 17, 2017

I did not realize how excited i was for this until i spoke to somone new about it. 

this was a director and i am just a relief staff so our paths dont cross too often. some of you know i am having a knee repalcement or two soon. but it will be at least six months after my roux en y but this director, did not realize i was having the bariatric so she was confused when we started talking about me having shakes before my surgery. she was nodding but looking very perplexed until she finally broke down and said "why do you need shakes before knee surgery and why is your diet so restrictive" i laughed (quietly to myself) and expalined. i found that talking about it to someone who didnt know about it was informative for me. i remembered a lot of the things i learned in class and things i have learneed here. i felt ready excited and prepared. for the first time in a long time. since my dad passed in fact i felt that this is the total right thing to do. i was so lost before. i have had moments of clarity since but this really resounded on all levels. i just felt ready. you know? just ready. like my life is about to begin. 

Tacos:

i am having tacos this weekend. it is my final meal and it will be a hearty veggie filled one. i dont feel that i am going to binge and have pizza or anything. i dont want to do mcdonalds. i dont want to eat something greasy and fatty i have already left that life behind me. just have to give up the coffee. that is going to be the hard part. oh man i will miss coffee. we can have decaff right? i can live with decaff.

anyway thanks for listening. 

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