Sassylike
Okay to be scared?
Jan 19, 2015
I only have 2 classes left and then I am done with my 6 months of weight management. I've had some ups and downs, but for the most part I really feel like I have embraced a lot of new changes and a new lifestyle.
Today I weighed in at 383, which is a total loss of 62 pounds. I'm pretty proud of that! Exercise is making me feel good and making my body look better, too. I didn't get many "wow you look great!" comments until I started to exercise.
I still want to have surgery. But I'm really scared. It isn't scheduled, and my insurance info hasn't been submitted. But for some reason I'm scared of the complications. I'm afraid of what it will be like. I hope that it doesn't affect me at work.
I would still like to lose 150 pounds. I don't think I can do it on my own. I still have a huge appetite and overeat. It's not as bad as it used to be, but I still have a stomach that can eat a heaping Chipotle burrito bowl, a whole bag of chips, and two fountain pops. Gross, I know! I haven't been eating like that recently, but I know my body.
I am meeting with a psychiatrist and a therapist regularly. It costs a lot of money, but I think it is really helping me. My therapist, who I have seen 2 times, also had RNY gastric bypass. I think her perspective will help me so much. I have stressed to her I just want to be "normal," and not hear the whispers and rude comments that I used to hear. I just want to be healthy and be able to do things like ride on an airplane, walk through a new city without getting tired, and... date!
Have a great day, everyone.
